Charm's Life

A poem for poets

2011-03-29T02:23:00.000+08:00

I miss writing poetry. And reading poetry.
I miss being read poetry in bed.
Or being given a poem.
Poetry is dying. And that seems so sad.

So I'm gonna give it a go...

I feel somewhat down,
I feel a little blue,
I feel like I've lost something precious,
Something comforting I found in you.

I don't know where it's gone,
And I don't know what that means,
I can't help but feel disillusioned and caught up in my dreams.

I want to bring it back,
And show the world what I see so clear.
But it's hard to shine a light on all that darkness and fear.

These days it seems hard to believe in the good and the kind.
And we waste our energy on trivial things that take up all our time.

So simply put here, today...
is a tiny salute to poets then and now.
And poetry for human kind , always and anyhow.

C

Fooling someone...

2011-03-29T00:50:00.002+08:00

"I've never fooled anyone.
I've let people fool themselves.
They didn't bother to find out who and what I was.
Instead they would invent a character for me.
I wouldn't argue with them.
They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't."
— Marilyn Monroe

SUpermoon

2011-03-19T16:08:00.000+08:00

Here's a snippet of an incredibly interesting post I found.

The takeaway
I first heard about a possible connection between a supermoon and earthly disasters from a website called Psychic Connection.
It predicted “severe weather patterns, increased seismic activity, tsunamis and more volcanic eruptions than normal.”
In my 40 years of writing about the sky, I’ve never heard of a connection between full moons and severe weather. Can’t comment on that one.
There are mentions in the scientific literature of a possible connection between full moons and geologic activity.
The moon does indeed cause tides in the solid body of Earth, just as it causes ocean tides.
So it’s logical to assume an especially close full moon might cause geologic activity to increase,
and occasionally I’ve seen random (dare I say “fringe?”) studies suggesting this connection.
In reality, is the connection between the moon and geologic activity a strong one?
I’ve never seen a study showing a striking pattern between close full moons and increased geologic activity.
Will the March 19, 2011 full moon
--which coincides with the moon’s closest point to Earth--
bring more earthquakes and tsunamis? Will it cause volcanic eruptions?
Let me ask another question first.
Why, I wonder, do people want to believe in unfounded predictions for disasters?
The moon’s distance from Earth is changing continually.
The full moon on March 19 will be a close one,
but there’s no scientific evidence it will cause any of those events.
The March 11 moon does not prove the supermoon-earthquake theory.
In fact, it disproves it. Plus we know of closer full moons than the March 19 moon that did no harm.
Will the March 19, 2011 close full moon cause floods?
Yes, that’s different. Now we’re on more solid ground.
Close full moons do cause maximum tidal ranges.
So if a storm moves into a coastline on the day a full moon is closest,
it can cause flooding along that coast.
If you live along a coast, and a storm is heading your way on or around March 19...
expect possible flooding and take precautions.
I don’t believe science knows everything. Clearly, it doesn’t.
But we live in a complicated world, a world that features gobs of misinformation flying willy-nilly on the Interwebs, terrifying people at every turn.
So – I believe – it’s important to separate fact from fiction.
The March 19, 2011 supermoon is interesting, but it’s no reason to think that more earthly disasters are looming on the near horizon.
Better to focus instead on what’s really important now--looking to the reality of the March 11, 2011 8.9-magnitude earthquake in Japan and subsequent tsunami in the Pacific--and responding with our hopes, prayers and support.

To read more, go to
http://www.fastcompany.com/1737710/the-supermoon-and-japans-89-magnitude-earthquake

Happy Moon Gazing tonight.

Getting into the Habit

2011-03-15T14:46:00.001+08:00

The Organic habit, that is.
Now if you really want to get down, to the nitty gritty (pun totally intended) of food these days,
there's only one way I would recommend.
Read the book "Eating Animals" by Jonathan Safron Foer
http://www.eatinganimals.com/

He gives us the A-Z, literally (pun intended again) with this book on our consumption habits
and how we are destroying our planets, our guts and our future with our detachment and ignorance.
He urges us to stop looking the other way and addresses issues we've been too cowardly to confront.

Anyway since reading the book and being pescetarian for 8 years now,
I wanted to make more of an effort to be Eco-conscious
and to eat organic whenever I can.

So here is a lists of a few organic food suppliers in Singapore that do home deliveries. :)
(Courtesy of www.organicfood.sg)

GreenCircle Eco-Farm
This biodynamic organic vegetable farm offers vegetables such as

kangkong, caixin, pumpkin and endive.
To order:
Telephone : 6861 9286Email : NA
URL: www.greencircle.com.sg

Nature's Glory
Offers more than 150 types of organic vegetables and fruits.
Customers are free to choose what they want for delivery.
To order:
Telephone : NA  Email : NA
URL: www.natures-glory.com

Organic Himalayan
Organic vegetables and fruits are flown from Nepal every fortnight.
Customers pick what they want from a list in an email sent to members every two weeks.
To order:
Telephone : Na  Email : cynthiahoefer@mac.com
URL: NA

Sunny Choice
Offers a wide range of organic vegetables from abroad and local farms.
Sunny Choice has a cafe serving organic meals and ice cream.
To order:
Telephone : 6892 2383  Email : NA
URL: NA

SuperNature
Offers five types of fruit and vegetable boxes containing pre-selected items for different dietary needs. Each box contains nine to twelve types of fruits and vegetables based on seasonal availability.
To order:
Telephone : 6304 1338  Email : NA
URL: www.supernature.com.sg

Bunalun
Offers a variety of 18 Asian or European vegetables and fruits.

Their "Family Box Set" will be able to last a family of two or four for a week.
To Order:
Telephone : 6479 2598 (Tel), 6491 6566 (Fax)
Email : service@bunalun.com
URL: www.bunalun.com.sg

Fire Flies Health Farm
Grown in the organic farm in Lim Chu Kang, they offer a wide range of fruits and vegetables.
Delivery schedules are made to accomodate individual requests.
To order:
Telephone : 6793 7875 (Tel), 6794 6908 (Fax)Email : info@fireflies.sg
URL: www.fireflies.sg

Have an orgasmic, oops I meant Organic week. :)

Christina Aguilera - You Lost Me

2011-03-05T21:25:00.000+08:00

I've always loved Christina.... even through her 'dirty' days.
I've always appreciated the power of her pipes.
And I think she is a blond bombshell. Mother and all. :)

Her performance in Burlesque was really quite memorable and
now she's done this song "You Lost me" which I love.

Music says everything.....

2011-02-27T02:33:00.001+08:00

So I had to post this video on my blog because I love it so much.
It makes me smile, even when I am sad inside.

And this week, I have been treated to INCREDIBLE music.
It was Faithless at Fort Canning on Tuesday
which I think is the best concert
I've seen since the Prodigy 2 years ago.
Then Andy Fletcher on decks last night at Kudeta for the Dope party
plus a bonus when Brian Tiong and Mark Lee hit the decks at the restaurant sky deck bar.

And tonight, I am on my couch, watching the Grammy's on Star World HD.

Totally blessed.
So now turn up the volume, open your mind and enjoy this awesome video.

Feel good staying home.

2011-02-25T15:12:00.000+08:00

I spent last weekend at home.
I must admit it felt a little strange especially since most of my friends were out celebrating.
But I wanted to hibernate and spend some time in solitude.

So I got down to doing things I often put off, just to make my time at home seem more productive.

Here is a useful list that I go by;

- Clear out your work desk/study area.
Yup, sounds boring but one of the sure fix ways to feel good about staying in.
Go through all those bills, papers, receipts etc, rsvp to invites that you have been putting off.
Wipe down the desktop and dust all your books.
Trash everything that serves no purpose to me anymore.
To inprove the feng shui, place a potted plant on your table
and make sure your back doesn't face the door of the room so you don't 'turn your back on your career/work'.

- Try out that recipe you've always wanted to master.
Jamie Olivier, Nigella Dawson, whoever tickles your taste bud fancy, try out their recipes.
If you don't have the ingredients at hand, make do with what you have.
Check your pantry then google a recipe that works all the ingredients together and voila...
satisfied and full. :)

- Bathe the pets.
If you don't have any, water the plants, trim them and sing a song to each of them.
They'll bloom tomorrow!

- Go through your wardrobe.
Give those unused outfits away...
pass it on, and give it to someone who'll make much better use of it than you.
Goddess knows we can never quality control our fashion enough.
And it feels even better if we can spread some style around.

- Get with the program and get online.
Spring clean your computer.
Tidy up those wires and back up your hard drives.
Don't wait for the mercury retrograde.
Go through emails long overdue, reply to faraway friends,
update yourself with current fashion or hip blogs.
It may sounds trivial but time flies by when you are engrossed in good writing and reading.

- Do the laundry.
Yup, and those chores you have been procrastinating on,
little things like wiping the fan blades down or putting in the order for new sofa covers. Get to it.
The end result is so rewarding, you can have a bloody mary after and feel no guilt.

- Put that exercise routine to use.
Yeah the 1 dvd or video file, be it yoga, belly dancing, or dance class
that we either ordered through the mail, downloaded or picked up at the fitness center
that we swore we'll do religiously but has been gathering dust in the dvd station for months.
Go sweat!

- Meditate
Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes and focus on your breath.
Observe the thoughts that come into your mind then radiate love, peace and joy from your consciousness.
You'll be amazed at how good you'll feel after sitting still for 20mins, focusing on yourself.

- Clear out your make-up or toiletries
Eye shadows and powder packs should be chucked out after a year.
Applicators like brushes and sponges should be washed weekly.
Let's not forget, all this goes on your face and skin so if you find it wasteful,
think about all that bacteria you are spreading around.
Also, if there is a cream or lotion sitting in the back of the lot,
which you haven't opened or touched in months,
give it away to someone who'll use it.

Well, that's it for now.
There are heaps of other things to productively do at home but personally,
sorting your own shit out first should be priority.

I've always been a 'house proud' personality.
Now I can be 'productive house' personality too.

Have a lovely weekend ahead.
:)

What I'm really about.

2011-02-01T17:29:00.000+08:00

I wish I could categorise what I like to write about.
But the truth is, I like writing and forming my own opinions on almost everything.
Somethings I write about more than others but all have a philosophical influence to them.
If you read all the pieces in my Charm's Life blog,
I write about love, life, challenges, experiences, the Old, the New, the natural, and the World.

Although I have been in the fashion industry for almost 2 decades now,
I have never considered fashion to be my repertoire
so I don't write about the latest looks or currents trends.
I am still one of those 'traditionalist' who believe that confidence pulls every outfit together.
And I believe natural products and holistic remedies keep my body in shape and my skin glowing.

So for me to write about the latest underground brand
or the new "IT" place in Singapore tickles my fancy for about one whole minute.
Just about the same time it takes for fashion season to come and go.

Health and Living, on the other hand, enchants me.
Self improvement and bettering one's self is the tune I like to sing.
Recommendations for wellness centers and recipes for nourishing foods
is just the kind of stuff I would gladly research and document
as I believe knowledge like that is useful and priceless.

The healing properties of herbs, the magical energies of crystals and gemstones,
the power of the planets and the elements are bountiful sources of information
that affect, help, guide and power us ALL.
Mother Nature has answers to every question we ask, it only comes down to how we pay attention.

Travel is another topic I love.
Maybe because of how exposed I was, and am to it.

But let me be clear that travel to me
is the unique cultures I get to learn about,
sacred lands and architectural marvels I get to visit,
the locals and indigenous people I meet and learn from.
Holidays to me are more about island hopping, cuisine indulgences and pilgrimages
as oppose to shopping sprees or group tours.

One more topic that hits close to home for me is Spirituality.
The ability to draw messages to oneself,
to affirm positivity, to spread joy and to help other people.
To meditate, to observe speech, and to acquire focus.
All the habits that help us as human beings find our true purpose in life.

Well there is it, off the top of my head.
A little more insight on me.

Namaste and Gong Xi Fa CAi.

Welcome Rabbit. :)

An ideal Sunday.

2011-01-27T01:04:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday was rather blissful, I must say.

I started the day at 10am doing yoga with 63 other people at Verita Advanced Wellness centre in Phoenix Park... amongst other some serious yogis. :)
It was a practice in dedication to the women in Uganda.

We watched a short docu, before the practice started, on women in Uganda,
their hard labor and how difficult it was for them to make a living.
The video then went on to tell us about the "Beads for Life" program.
This program helps women in Uganda earn their own wage from making paper beads.
These organic adornments, rolled from paper are then covered in lacquer
and strung together to make bracelets, necklaces and earrings.
Buying their hand made jewelery would directly help them build their lives and feed their families as 100% of the purchase goes directly back to them.

After an intense hour of tree poses, back bends and attempted 'crows'...
We headed down to the cafe where the beads were displayed.
After ordering a mushroom aglio olio organic spiral pasta dish, accompanied with a Hibiscus and Cranberry soda from the Verita cafe ....I got to shopping.
Picking up beads for myself, close friends and loved ones.
Knowing that every contribution I made would directly help a woman,
maybe even a family across the globe.
It felt empowering and precious.
The beads sold out but if you are keen to know more about where to get them,
or are keen to throw your own Bead for Life party...
visit www.beadforlife.org for all the information.

That same day, for sunset...I went to Labrador Park to sit by the star gazebo and listen to the sound of the waves.
It was magical.
I got lost in my own thoughts and achieved some walking meditation.

And just to close my day, as healthily and lovely as I started it.
I made a broccoli pasta for dinner, with fresh home made pesto sauce and Parmesan cheese, with a chili padi garnish. (for that kick, you know.) :)
With a warm and comfy tummy,
I climb into bed to read my book before falling into blissful sleep.

How ideal.
An accomplished Sunday.

Sleeping in Singapore? Dreaming of Bali......

2011-01-18T02:06:00.000+08:00

What is this thing with me and sleep.
I want it.
I chase it and I love my bed but somehow I'm running on a separate clock seemingly.
I just returned from an amazing 9 day trip in Bali and I had NO problems sleeping there
so I cannot help but wonder if it's just in Singapore that I have such a hard time sleeping soundly.

I have always been a night bird, a self proclaimed 'more creative' at night kind of chick.
Although I love mornings, and the smell of dew and the crispness in the air
and eggs done sunny side up,
my imagination unwinds more at night.

Bali was fantastic.
We got to enjoy the luxuries of the Ayana Resort and Spa for 3 nights
where we had drinks at the Rock bar (quite an incredible piece of architecture),
did yoga under a bale,
visited my good friend Fa's treehouse in Kabar Kabar and chill in Brawar.
We also got to hang out with Luke Stedman who is just an amazing guy with no chips on either of his sun-kissed shoulders.
I think we always expect famous or successful people to be difficult or snobbish
but I think it's important to understand how many and what kind of people they have to deal with and face and meet everyday.
And how difficult it must be for them to relate to people especially if they travel a lot and spend time with people only for limited periods of time.
It gets hard to invest time and energy in people you may only see a few times in your lifetime.
And I find when you are open, honest and receptive to people ...
there needs to be certain guards up within oneself to protect your heart and personal space.
I know Luke has done a lot of interviews for surf magazines and press in Hawaii where he surfs professionally and people read about him and watch him all the time.
That probably makes them feel like they know him.
And I can see that Luke has taken that responsibility well and tries to use it as best he can to inspire others and motivate them.
Anyway it was beautiful to spend time with souls like that.
The end of our trip we spent up east. Near Klung Klung.
The Bali Safari and Marine park has a lodge called Mara River which put us up for about
1million rupiah (us$120) in a cozy cottage room which has a balcony
overlooking part of the safari park.
So you wake up to antelopes running through your 'backyard' or
rhinos drinking from the moat outside your room.
The restaurant sits next to the lions den and most meals are accompanied with roars and frolicking or just plain lazing.
Quite amazing dinner entertainment, if I must say so.

The most lovely thing about Bali, I find, is the feeling of oneness you feel with the
Universe when you are there.
When you witness the morning rituals and the evening blessings.
Whether it rains or shines or the sunsets are gorgeous or cloudy,
the energy on the island
reminds you of how easy it is to be happy, simply.

Waking up every morning in Bali was a joy, knowing that the people you were bound to encounter would bring a smile to your face, or inspire you somewhat,
with a kind gesture, or a message of peace, or a happy glint in their eyes.

And it's such a karmic place where lessons are sent swiftly and reality is what you make it.
I guess now that I have shared a bit of Bali with you, I can sleep easy.
I can go to bed in hopes that I'll dream of the island tonight.

*Yawn*

WELLLL I guess I'll have to then, WON'T I?

2011-01-03T00:16:00.000+08:00

Imagine someone calling your mother or daughter a 'c*#t' and
feel that boiling blood within you.
Try imagining watching someone speak the way you do to me,
and observe if what you feel is disgust.

Everyday you get a little more rude.
With your snide remarks and your immaturity.
What I find most repulsive of all, is that arrogance and inability to see your faults and mistakes.
And repeating them, over and over again, sometimes with sickening glee and even pride....
making it all the more off-putting.

If you don't want to stop yourself from being this way,
who's to even try and help you?
If you get SUCH a kick out of power and being so oblivious to empathy and compassion,
are you even capable of being saved?

Do you even realize that ALL this energy, the one you are blowing when you lose your head,
the energy you are draining out of the people around you, the energy it takes to make you understand...
could easily but put into so many more productive and powerful things.
Your Merry Go Round of a life is kicking you in a pattern so stagnant in personal growth
but you are arrogantly unaware.

"Digging yourself deeper in your own shit" has new meaning with you.

Someone needs to wake you up.
Because you definitely are too fast asleep to wake up yourself.
I know talking to you hardly works.
Or maybe it's because it's been me that has been the most honest and frank with you
so now whatever comes out my mouth MUST be bullshit since I called you out on all yours.

There is this monster and I'm not sure if it's in you, or coming out of you but it's there.
And if you don't recognize that and try and sort out your demons within
then nobody else can help you, even if they tried to.
SO good luck.
We all know you need it. And will need it.
When it all comes back to hit you.

If you think I'm a bitch, wait til you meet KARMA.

The Lovers

2010-12-11T14:27:00.000+08:00

In the scope of our personal relationships this card stands for the great love that deeply touches and flows through us.
It has little to do with "failing in love," which Erich Fromm rightly says is at most an indication of our previous loneliness.
The card can indicate a new relationship or mean that our great happiness is to be found here and now in the partnership we already have.
The important decisive character of this card makes it apparent that we can only tap this source of fulfilling experience when we voluntarily "limit" ourselves and affirm from our hearts that we will follow this path with a certain person.
Each of us would certainly be prepared to take this step if we could just meet the Dream Woman or Prince Charming.
This card challenges us to stop deceiving ourselves and recognize that such mythical figures do not present themselves in completed form to us, but rather that they could be within our partner, hoping and waiting to be discovered.
The path that leads to another person is: the decision.

~ Tarot of Dreams

Images from the Tarot of Dreams® Deck, reproduced by permission of Ciro Marchetti,
http://www.ciromarchetti.com Copyright ©2006. Further reproduction prohibited.

The Rose

2010-12-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

I figure I best describe what most women want in a man, she wants from the rose.

I love flowers. I love looking at them, running through fields of them.
Receiving them and caring for them.
But roses, well roses are special.
Especially those ever-stunning deep red ones.

Anyway back to what I want in a man, wait.... in a rose. Yes.

I don't want a dozen, or half for that matter.
Just one healthy perfect, long stemmed, thorn-free Looker.
I don't want one that's too clammed up as I love the process of watching one bloom,
and I want one which have a natural openness about it.
I promise to pamper you, Rose... water you, stare at you and sing to you...
just so you'll open up for me. Spread to all your glory.

Catching a glimpse of you in my living room makes me smile.
And I often want to color your petals with the redness of my lips.
When I breeze you across my face, I want you to smell sweet.
Of meadows and spring kisses.
Yet I acknowledge the complexity of your beauty and the delicacy of your being.

You don't often find a near perfect rose but you always remember it.
And same goes for that perfect man.

Tis the Season

2010-12-03T23:18:00.000+08:00

And December rolls around once more.
Another year passed. This one, faster than the last.
Some of us are either worrying about Xmas presents, what to do over the holidays or winding down from the hectic year we all claim we had.
Some of us evaluate our 'gains and losses' while others are just glad the year is over so they may start 2011 afresh.
A self-made slave to man-made time lines instead of natural cycles or listening to the body.

Personally speaking, schedule is so erratic that public holidays often mean nothing to me.
And as much as I try to listen to the rhythms of life and follow the planets energetically,
every year end... I do what almost most people do.
Find yet another reason to Celebrate.

Ti's the season... is this seasons usual mantra... :)

So let's be jolly.
I know I'll get into some kind of festive spirit.
I'll buy a mistletoe to attach to my newly painted door frame,
maybe some sparkly Xmas balls :) to hang randomly around the living room.
I'll probably cave and buy some lights too... because they are multi-purposeful and I can use them for other 0ccasions. :)
Thus being eco-concious and 'celebratory'.

It's likely I will spend most of December trying to prepare for 2011
but I must remind myself to balance the work and play.
So I hope you spend this Dec doing something exciting and uplifting to close the year nicely.
Backstage, in catwalk terms or finale shows... we say "be sure to finish strong".

Happy Holidays.

Guilty?

2010-11-14T15:58:00.000+08:00

During a recent conversation with one of my spiritual healers,
I learn that guilt has the lowest vibrations and thus attracts negativity.

We all feel guilty some time.
Whether it's that indulgent cupcake, or that lazy day at home,
we often feel we do not deserve to take a break, treat ourselves, and do nothing.

This rainy Sunday, I sit at home, running the weekend through my mind.
My mates are coming over to help me paint but I have a good mind to ditch the plan and just veg out instead.
Chat and spend some quality time with quality beings.

I step out on my balcony to find my neighbor and her husband out on theirs,
in the rain.... scrubbing it down.
Surprised.. I asked, "Hi, wow, how come you're cleaning it now, in the rain?"

Her first response was,
"Hey don't worry, I am not washing stuff (dirt, I think she meant) onto your side of the wall!"

We went about with some neighborly chit chat through a slit in our shared porch wall.
and I got back to my space.
But I couldn't help but ponder on her comment.

We feel guilt and the need to express it, even more than we catch ourselves doing it.
We apologize more times in a day then we probably should.
We seldom claim our right to celebrate or get about our business even in our own homes.

And by celebrating, I don't mean clubbing or drinking ourselves stupid or splurging cash.
I mean celebrating the fact that we have fresh water at our fingertips, and food in our fridges.
(Gosh, the fact that we even have fridges!)
Just be grateful and guilt-free for the next stroll you take in the park.
Or for that warm shower you enjoy, at the beginning and end of each day.
How precious and blessed we are, to have that so accessible to us, daily.

At your next meal, take a moment to appreciate how it was served to you.
No matter how it is delivered, release the guilt and celebrate the simplicity of consuming it.

Spend some time every day realizing the amazement of your individual life.
Then, without guilt, share some joy with the other amazing beings you hold close to you.

Let's naturally lift our vibrations so we attract more positivity n share positively.
Guilt-free.

www.awe50me.com

2010-06-10T03:00:00.001+08:00

SUNDAY, MAY 16, 2010

CHARMAINE HARN - SINGAPORE

WHAT’S YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE WAY YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE?
We all have a purpose in life and that is reflected in our attitude towards work, the arts, relationships and ambition. I think the key is to make a life, not just a living.

Fulfillment plays a big part in MY purpose and is the driving force behind any project I chose to undertake. I want to master the art of doing less but achieving more. But discipline and patience is vital as well. And flow. Flowing is important. Understanding the cycles of life and knowing that challenges are opportunities for us to be creative.

SO HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO IT?
Prayer. And a lot of whisky. Jokes aside… it's all about Balance. Moderation. Doing everything as fairly and equally as you can. Some women call it yoga, others say Pilates, I say Balance. But according to your individual lifestyle.

Your life must complement itself. The people around you, the choices you make all must make you happy and help you be more aware.

TELL US ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO INSPIRE YOU?
Well I love people. I can talk to anyone and will talk to everyone. My inspiration comes from the fact that everybody has a story. Their own story. That's why often, when I met someone of importance, I ask them a simple question - "What has been your secret to success?"

David Tang, founder of The China Club & Shanghai Tang told me, "The key is to being well read. Read. As much as you can. Build a library and always be willing to learn new things."

Maggie Q, Hollywood actress and close friend confides, "We are who we are, to inspire people and we must be proud of who we are and what we do."

Faith Roberts, my Mother and Guru says, "Always surround yourself with people who are pure and good to you and bring out the best in you."

WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO SHAKE UP YOUR GENERATION?
Add music. A lot of it. Good music. Educate through music. Inspire with sound therapy. Heal through sound vibrations.

TURN US ON TO SOMETHING?
I swear by Nature. I love holistic remedies. For many years, I have used flower essences and essential oils to stay balanced, focused and pampered. I am also fascinated with crystals and stones.

Bach Flower Remedies & Aurora Alchemy Goddess Oils

WHAT HAS BEEN MOST INFLUENTIAL TO YOU & YOUR GENERATION?
The iMAC revolution. The Imac, Iphone, Ipod. Everything is «i» this and «i» that, in more ways than just aesthestically.

HOW DID YOU GET INTO WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW?
Wow, this question stunned me. It brought me back to the time I was 4 years old and in the Botanical Gardens with my parents. We were all seated together in a café and my Dad had left his SLR camera on the tabletop. When no one noticed, I grabbed the camera, went outside and photographed a red Carnation flower.

To this day, I still have the picture. It is probably,comparatively, the best shot I have ever taken. That same year, 1981.. I did a TV commercial for Yamaha. I was the Girl for the Portasound. The print shot was of me, seated cross-legged, hugging a portasound with a huge grin on my face. The tvc had me skip down the Yamaha corridor, clasping my portasound, straight up to the camera to say "I love PortaSound!" Those were my 1st experiences with (both in front of and behind) the camera.

TELL US ABOUT YOUR LATEST WORK?
My last hosting gig was for the 1st season of Supermodelme. A reality program where 10 wannabe models battled it out to emerge victorious and win $10gs. I hosted the program, acted as guest judge on various occasions, played 'Mentor' to the contestants and awarded the 1st SMM winner live on stage in Zouk at their finale event.

As for modeling, I only do so now by special request. Last weekend, I went to KL to walk the 'red carpet' at the Bonia event where Anita Sarawak performed and I did a 'celebrity catwalk' for Bonia's Italian designer, who was present at the event. Creatively, I love photography and writing. I am currently working on a piece for a friend's newly opened concept store called Word of Mouth in Bali. I write more about the people behind the idea, and add some playful touches of my own to it to make it relatable.

WHAT IS YOUR WEAPON OF CHOICE FOR YOUR PASSION?
Charm.

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE PHOTOGRAPHER?
I have been following a photographer named Daniel Luxford whom I met in a skate shop in Perth. He sold us some skate wheels. His photography is raw and amazing. His 'personal' collection on his website are my favorites.

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FASHION DESIGNER?
Currently my favorite fashion designer is Sven for AllDressedUp.

DESCRIBE YOUR STYLE?
My personal style is about comfort and accesorizing. I love flowy materials and chunky jewelery. I think a woman should feel confident and sexy in her choice of clothes and know her own body well enough to wear flattering cuts, according to her moods. And I love jeans... I have them in all cuts, shades and lengths.

WHAT KIND OF MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO NOW?
I like Funk, House and Reggae.

TELL US ABOUT THE SCENE IN YOUR CITY?
Singaporeans and everybody in Singapore are spoilt for choice when it comes to the Nightlife here. There is a scene for everyone, really. So don't expect New York styled lofty parties or hotel pent-house do's with pimped out luxuries (well you can imagine once in awhile, because it does happen occasionally). Our city scene is more intimate. The variety makes up for the lack of crowd and after hours are usually in cliques indoors.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE THINGS TO DO IN YOUR CITY?
Drive around. When you're done in the city, take the freeways to secluded parts of the island. Like Changi Coast, Labrador Park or even Punggol. Seek out the heartlands and explore. WALK my dog out to East Coast Park, The Botanical Gardens, Changi Village as well as out on the islands when we do Boat Trips.

EAT! Katong Laksa, Sin Hoi San, Whole Earth, cockles, stingray, chili crabs… slurp.
Skateboarding. The skate park in East Coast is AWESOME> really. But I like long boarding more down slopes and gradual hills. Go to Fort Canning's concerts & festivals. The atmosphere there is incomparable. Spend a day in the week at the beach on Sentosa ; or charter a boat for the weekend to have a bbq on one of the the surrounding islands.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO SHAKE UP THE SCENE?
Organise a music festival with the 'Greats of Music today' and educate the people. Like a Music conference, with galleries and info on artists in the day and 'music appreciation' parties for the nights.

YOUR 3 FAV PLACES TO EAT IN YOUR CITY?
15 mins cafe, LaSalle / Whole Earth, Peak Seah St / Aoki Jap restaurant, Shaw Center

YOUR 3 FAV PLACES TO DRINK IN YOUR CITY?
BluJaz, Haji Lane / White Rabbit, Tanglin Village (I love those mini-Marys!)/ Orihara Shouten sake bar, Unity St.

YOUR 3 FAV PLACES TO SHOP IN YOUR CITY?
Haji Lane, Arab Street / Mandarin Gallery / Ann Siang Hill / Chinatown

YOUR 3 FAV PLACES TO HANGOUT IN YOUR CITY?
Charlie's corner, Changi Village / The Botanical Gardens / Raffles Marina, Tuas

CONTACT ARTISTS: AWE5OME

वैशाख

2010-05-18T16:31:00.000+08:00

I have been feeling down. So down. Uncontrollably down.
And I have been hard on myself. I have been so hard on myself along with the ones I love and...
It's horrible. I feel horrible.
And for almost 2 weeks now, although I have done many exciting things and been totally inspired in little ways, I still feel bleak. Empty. Drained. Depressed.
Yes. And I am cautious about using that word, because it really is such a 'depressing' word.
But today... I saw a bit of light.
Or maybe I should say... a reason.
I know myself well enough to know that all I have been feeling, all that gunk that is surfacing now is doing so for a reason. Some internal clock. Cosmic forces.
Then I remember Vesak Day. Which is approaching and all becomes clear.
It's the Moon. Ending of a cycle. Purging of negative patterns and nasty habits.

On Vesākha Day, Buddhists all over the world commemorate events of significance to Buddhists of all traditions: The birth, enlightenment and the passing away of Gautama Buddha.

http://www.buddhanet.net/vesak.htm

Paying homage to the Buddha

Tradition ascribes to the Buddha himself instruction on how to pay him homage. Just before he died, he saw his faithful attendant Ananda, weeping. The Buddha advised him not to weep, but to understand the universal law that all compounded things (including even his own body) must disintegrate. He advised everyone not to cry over the disintegration of the physical body but to regard his teachings (The Dhamma) as their teacher from then on, because only the Dhamma truth is eternal and not subject to the law of change. He also stressed that the way to pay homage to him was not merely by offering flowers, incense, and lights, but by truly and sincerely striving to follow his teachings. This is how devotees are expected to celebrate Vesak: to use the opportunity to reiterate their determination to lead noble lives, to develop their minds, to practise loving-kindness and to bring peace and harmony to humanity.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ves%C4%81kha

I really hope this helps at least one of u. I have been hearing of many people feeling unhappy lately... and I want you to know it's part of the cycle.
We are part of the cycle. Of the whole.
What we feel, and say, and do and not do... affects it all.

Prepare yourself for Vesak Day! :) 28th May 2010 Full Moon. Go outside and have a moment.

Namaste All.

Weekends in Singapore

2010-04-19T18:48:00.000+08:00

I have had 2 amazing weekends back to back here in Singapore.
Not to say it seldom happens, but these 2 I want to document.
Last weekend, I went on a Singapore-style road trip.
Aidan, Stewart and I drove to Kranji, past the cemeteries.. which were pleasantly peaceful toward the famous Bollywood Veggies for good old, locally grown, organic grub.
Lunch was Papaya salad, mixed vegetable stir up, scrumptious brown rice, cheese toaties (?) and a lot of dessert.
Yeah, their Chocolate Banana cake and banana bread is 'to die for'.
We had about 5 servings and they gave us a couple more. :)
The 3 of us then walked around the reserve, observed all the locally grown and even found a lake we sat by, for awhile and watched the wildlife.
I squealed like a 4 year old when a giant monitor lizard crossed my path to get to the water.
We could have stayed in the sanctuary for hours but a storm came and Ivy Singh, the owner of Bollywood Veggie signaled to us to get back in.
We grabbed more dessert to take away then drove around the farmlands, stopped by Kranji beach (yes there's a beach there which faces JB) and even went by the Goat farm.
Driving around Neo Tiew Road reminded me of my road trips around South West Australia and their wine region.
No doubt, it is a completely different experience but comforting to know that Singapore does have it's lush landscape when we seek it out.

Saturday early evening and we head over to Lakeview.
Brian and Curly got registered the week before and are legally Man & Wife now so a celebration was in order.
On the menu, popiah... DIY... the best way.
Also a signature way of 'communal eating' amongst this group of friends.
Sometimes it's Congee, other times Soup noodles.
But always presented in a way where you could have it just the way you liked it...

The Bamrah Brothers worked their music magic with Tom (Kelly, DJ Shellsuit) and we were all blessed with funky tunes and smooth grooves.
At one stage, the Mini-Marys came out and everybody had to try...
Take a cherry tomato coated with and from the dish marinated with Worcester sauce, pepper, Tabasco, salt. Dip it in your ice cold (premium) Vodka shot, eat the wee tomato and knock back the shot.
YUM!

The music started sounding better (I mean honestly, it hard to sound better than DJ Shellsuit & the Bamrah brothers) but the conversation started flowing easier and it wasn't long til the weekend really kicked in and the atmosphere meshed magically.
A few more cycles of popiah, cocktails and live jam sets and Saturday ended sweetly.
If not in deep sleep.

This weekend started with the Welcoming Home of a long lost friend Nasser.
Dinner at Oso on Friday night up in the Penthouse followed by drinks at La Maison got me much drunker than I even really realized.
When I woke up on Saturday morning, without a hangover...
Aidan lovingly reminded me of our McDonald's greed earlier that morning. WHAT??!!
I gave in to a fillet o'fish and fries. Aargh! And I asked for sauce which I wasted! OMG.
Truly bad behaviour!
Anyway before we headed out that night, Aidan and I went for a quick swim in the evening before it started pouring rain again.
Saturday night started at the Magic Bar.
Bar 84 at the Gallery Hotel.
This quaint little bar sits elegantly, as if floating amidst tall wooden beams in the darkness behind the hotel. As a group of 7-8, we were seated comfortably and our orders taken quickly.
I had the bloody mary which was delish.
After about 45 mins into conversation, we were asked to move to the main bar.
There, a little Japanese man hosted us and showed us a whole array of Magic tricks.
Telling on him, in detail would be plain mean... and I wouldn't want to spoil the experience for you anyways.
All I can say is... Go and experience it for yourself. It will blow you away.
One more thing, there is a $20 cover charge per head.
But I find it is worth every cent and shows support to magicians and artists alike.
We left Bar 84 with our jaws dragging the floor. But we were up for some dancing so we went to OverEasy in search of some disco. Has took good care of us there and we got to see Tracey Phillips which is always a treat.

On Sunday, I was craving Indian and went to Komala's but it was closed for renovation so I had dim sum and laksa instead.
Rie and I spent the afternoon making salad and a healthy rice mix for Sophie, Tiff, her brother, Fabian, Aya, Stew and Aidan who were jamming in the living room.
Guitars, cajons, keyboard harmonicas, shakers, bass guitar, more cajons all covered the hall and raw music filled the area.
There's a certain power in sound vibrations and how healing music is... even in it's rawest form.
And it was mesmerizing to see a whole group of friends grooving together happily.
We all ended up watching E.T sprawled on the floor, surrounded by cushions and it totally brought me back to my childhood.

Today I feel renewed and ever ready.
My friends are planning a camping trip on Lazarus Island soon and that is probably more a mental mission than a physical one so I am off to prepare.

Singapore is as magical as we make it.... wish me luck.

Thalassaemia

2010-04-15T20:32:00.000+08:00

I have recently agreed to make an appearance at a charity event in Sri Lanka (Colombo) in September so I decided to do some of my own research into the rehabilitation center and see how I could possibly help them, starting now.

The disease is Thalassaemia
and the charity is for the establishment of the National Thalassaemia Center at Kurunegala.

"Thalassaemia is a genetically inherited, non curable, but easily preventable disease. It is a heterogeneous group of genetic disorder. The production of normal hemoglobin is partially or completely suppressed in this disease. Treatment for thalassaemia is costly and needs life long therapy. As the disease is inherited, the best way of preventing thalassaemia is avoiding marriages between carriers." -

(http://www.zimbio.com/Sri+Lankan+Models+And+Actress/articles/n01hcF-aDsE/Thalassemia+Rehabilitation+Fund+Sri+Lanka)

Bascially, children with the disorder have to go through dialysis up to twice a day.
It can be very painfully and demoralizing, as Jacquie Mei (my Catwalk Lao Si) tells me.

I realized that apart from sending picture/educational books to the kids, a useful contribution would be nourishment or holistic help someway.
I gathered from reading the Center's mission statements that these patients could benefit significantly from medication such as Vitamin E.
I went on to find this chart stating Palm Oil as one of the best source of Vitamin E.
http://www.tropicaltraditions.com/images/vite.jpg

Anybody have any suggestions or hook ups to help me do this>?

My Singtel Drama...

2010-03-31T16:04:00.000+08:00

Before I begin this story.... I must say that I don't know why I did not blog it down sooner.
I have repeated it so many times.... I feel it is a total waste of energy.
So, I am venting it one last time... in black and white.

In January...I was blissfully unaware of the perks of a Blackberry.
I would tease my friends whenever I saw how attached to them they all were.
Crackberry, we would nickname it and they would try to convince me to swap over..
Me, cockily refusing, saying I would never be a slave to the device.

WHAM!

Aidan buys himself an Iphone and is given a $500 voucher to spend within a day...
He cannot use that voucher to buy another Iphone so he tops up some more cash and gets me a Blackberry Bold 9700. He knows that I have many friends in Hong Kong and Indonesia that use the BBM service.

At the time, I was using the Nokia e71 which I was really pleased with. I loved the picture quality, the speakers for my music, the slick feel. I wasn't looking to change but the BB seemed so tempting.

Last week of January I call Singtel, to check on my plan and what it would cost me to swap over to a BB data plan.
The lady tells me that my contract expires on the 4th of Feb so I figured it would be best I wait it out and then sign on a brand new contract. It also meant I had 2 weeks to suss out other price plans with other providers.
I checked with M1 and StarHub (even bought a Green card by mistake... another story there),
asking them of their price plans for data usage etc to compare.
After dabbling in numbers here and there, I decided to stick with Singtel...more out of convenience than anything else.

This is where the saga begins....

On the 10th of Feb, I go into Tampines mall to recontract. I was also given a $100 voucher to spend on a handset.
The lady who served me was a lady named Gladys.
I told her I wanted to use my voucher on the Samsung Colby but wanted to recontract on the Blackberry Flexi Plan $49 a month with a 15G allowance, as I am now using a Blackberry. (which I was holding in my hand)
She fiddled with her computer...got me my free phone, took my IC, I filled out some forms, she typed out some stuff then took me the cashier and it wasn't long before I was on my way.

A day or so pass and I do not receive any data service. I can still make calls and receive smses but can't surf the web or download my BBm.

I call Customer Service and they tell me my data plan has not been activated.
After about an hour conversation, re-telling the story and reconfirming the plan, the service person tells me that it should work in a day or two.

So I wait.

Chinese New Year arrives... steamboat feasts, catch-ups with Cousins, lots of yu-sheng and Open Houses.
Does my data service work? Nope.

I call Singtel on the 2nd day of CNY....speak to a guy and he pretty much tells me the same thing.
So I wait....and then.. FINALLY.... woohooo....I'm connected.

I hook up my email, my bbm, my whatnots, whatsapp & whatsups.
All my BB friends are stoked, my Nokia e71 ditched and life seems so much sweeter on crack(berry).

I now notice that once a BB friend realizes you are a BB user too... pins are swapped as well as approving nods.
They say "Welcome to the Family... You'll never look at email, messaging etc the same again."
or "It makes so much more sense and the bills are even cheaper...."

3 weeks into full addiction... I decide to check my account balance with Singtel.
Just to know, roughly, what my cost would be.
The automated voice on the phone properly pronounces, "Your account balance dated March 11 is Five hundred and seventy two dollars. Your last bill paid was Feb 28th 2010."

WTF?

I remember paying my bill the day after my data was connected, so as to better give me a gauge of data charges.
So what I am hearing now is that in 3 weeks, I rounded up a bill of $572?
Huh?

I call Singtel...
After an hour of being redirected to 3 different people and telling them all my story...
asking them how my charges have escalated so ridiculously, this lady Erma tells me that the breakdown shows I have a penalty charge of $450 for downgrading my plan.

She then proceeds to tell me that my plan did not run out, as the 1st Singtel lady told me,
and then when I went into Tampines Singtel, the lady swapped my plans instead of re-contracted me and downgraded my plan. So now I have to pay the penalty.

I ask to speak to the manager, or someone who can help me.
Erma puts me through to this worker named Marziah Mohd and
as I am explaining the situation to her..
she answers me with "yah.....so." and "ah..ok I will call u back in a few days, OKAY?"

I tell her I do not appreciate her tone and asks again to speak to the Manager.
She puts me on hold and after some time, I am directed to yet another lady.
I tell her my situation all over again and this time, she is apologetic, telling me she will waive the penalty and reset the billing charges.
She tells me Singtel is sorry and my next bill will only reflect my usage from today on my BB flexi $48 a month plan with 15g allowance.
I put down the phone relieved. I believe this is the last I will hear of this.

I go to Bali for 2 weeks. For Nyepi... for the Kiss Villas launch party...
I get back into Singapore two nights ago.
I call Singtel to check my outstanding balance.

Five hundred and seventy two dollars.

???

Food for thought..... on Beach Day ( Bali Sunday)

2010-03-22T16:42:00.000+08:00

Beach day at Padang Padang is always delightful.
I remember coming here with Parta a few times before when I was living in Bali in 2007.
Last year, Padang Padang was the Bali backdrop for the movie "Eat, Pray, Love" (based on the book) filmed here, starring Julia Roberts.
During high tide, you can swim the clear blue waters and even rock climb with the locals.
The warung there serves nasi goreng, mee goreng, egg tomato and cheese toasties amongst other things. And to the right of the comfy beach, there are rock formations and hidden adventures that lurk behind the cracks.

During this time of the year, you can't watch the sunset from Padang Padang and
Dreamland has been destroyed by all the construction happening there.
So Eddie, Parta, Yulia, Aidan and I go for sun-downer Mexican just down the road.
Yulia and I have the fish tacos, which come with side salad, yellow rice and mexican beans.
Oh and yummy roasted potatoes.
Eddie, Parta and Aidan have the beef burritos which are well reputed.
The margaritas here are incredible too, but we all refrain ourselves since the drive back down to Nusa Dua and Seminyak is lengthy.
The deco is quaint with little reminder tablets, hung on the wall saying
"People in a rush, not allowed here."
There is a poster of Bob Marley, surfboards affixed on the ceilings and photographs of surfers, conquering massive waves.
Most of the pictures are of the owner himself, riding waves all over Uluwatu.

I forget to introduce myself and ask for his name but the whole 2 hrs we were there,
he watched over us with such genuineness and attentiveness.
The chefs even shared a 'recharge' moment with us by blasting Bobby McFarrin's
"Don't Worry, Be Happy" song in the midst of our meal. We all sing along loud and proud.

Earlier that day, Eddie and I had a gratifying breakfast at Gourmet cafe with some good friends.
The french toast there is exquisite and their Liver Detox juice is my ultimate favorite.
Their omelets are also delectable and you can even make your own sandwiches.
I usually have croissants with tuna and melted cheese.

For supper, I scoffed down the Nicoise salad from Soho. I love their anchovy dressing.
And indulged myself with the Vanilla milkshake. Slurp.

What a feast I was blessed with today. A healthy one too for that matter.

Stay tuned for more of my BALI FOOD ADVENTURES.

Student Power – Environmental Change Starts from a Young Age

2010-03-20T21:21:00.000+08:00

Student Power – Environmental Change Starts from a Young Age

Such a powerful piece and so enlightening.
Yes children have the power and we should start from now, to educate them truthfully.
God gave us free will, we should give our youth, the future, the same...if not more.
Teach them, give them the info and let them decide for themselves.

Namaste

P.s Am reading a book now called "Eating Animals". Highly confronting but incredibly educational.
I suggest you give it a read.

Do u.... want more?

2010-03-02T16:11:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday, I was accused of being selfish with my knowledge.
My photographer friend Olivier said,
"I've known you all this while and I only recently realized how spiritual you are."
He went on to tell me,
"If I knew this before, I would have seeked your cosmic advice way before."

My only defense was to reply...
"I believe spirituality is best shared through positive experiences and personalities.
If personal theories were preached and insisted upon, spirituality does not come by choice.
If by being a spiritual person, in touch with the cosmic, one is at peace with themselves, happy and joyful to be around... that is a good example of what the Universe can bring u, if u only believed.
People will then seek their own awareness and happiness since they see that THIS is what inner peace and compassion brings to me."

Well Olivier and I went on to have quite an indulgent Sunday...
with good food, groovy music, lots of drinks and great company
and through the day, we would catch each others eyes,
exchange a intuitive nod and went on bouncing through the party.

Monday morning came and I got to thinking....
He is right.
I know all these things...out of pure passion and personal achievement.
I know of angels and Goddesses and crystals and healing herbs...
and I have not shared it....enough.
I share it with my Loved ones and my best friends and strangers I encounter
but I have not seeked out another avenue to share more.

Since I was a little girl, I had been fascinated with the Mystical.
I was born Catholic but grew up reading philosophical novels, bibles and encyclopedias on ancient remedies.
Crystals were my type of 'candy', my eyes would always follow butterflies and birds,
insisting to know the name of every tree or plant and totally tamed by the sight of the Ocean.

During my early years of modeling and while I was still in school,
I use to get sarcastic remarks about the constant grin on my face or my airy fairy comments about the day and all things remarkable.
And I would read my Sybil Leek books,
hiding the covers and titles from their sights just to avoid scrutiny and judgement.

These days, as much as I look to the Angels and Goddesses for signs and guidance,
I follow Buddhism.
Which speaks of awareness, compassion and acceptance mainly.
I go to the temple whenever I can, and pray for my family and friends but more important,
I fuel my lifestyle by surrounding myself with good friends and clean fun.
Our indulgences are deserved and we hurt nobody else in the process so we give ourselves that permission to let loose. That's my type of Good Times.
The energies exchanged are genuine and clear of dishonesty and secrets and malice.
We laugh because we are happy we live.
Not out of bitchiness or jealously brought on by insecurities.
And we celebrate the Trust, within the circle and the depth of our histories together.
We share life mottos and helpful lessons to get through Life.
And we promise each other loyalty and love.

I know I am blessed. Because I have these friends, and I have this advice.
And I know of the Universe and how cycles are necessary in this world.
But I want to share it.
With you... yes You.
Just one bit at a time.
Spare me some of your brain space and see if my words resonate within you.
And if they work for you....
Or even if reading them entertains or lightens you.
Support me if I tell you my stories and my experiences.
Drink me when I am on a roll or off the beaten track.

Do u..... want more?

Dharma Cards

2010-02-24T19:20:00.000+08:00

One mind

Our worlds are created in our mind
and we live as if these worlds are real.
Our thoughts and our actions
bring misery and complications
and we have no freedom.

In our mind we create the world
and we live as if this world is real.
To realize the truth
and free ourselves
we must pass through
the doors of awareness.

Six
Collecting Honey

As the bee collects nectar
without injuring the flower,
so should you move through life.

Watch your actions,
learn about yourself,
and don't compare
your ways with others.

The words of those who are unaware
are like withered flowers.
They are faded and have no scent.

The Dharma Cards

I am reminded once again of the importance of positive thought and speech.
I guess sometimes I mix it up in my head when I work.
When I put on my 'work mode', I am expected to be judgmental and curt with people.
The industry almost feeds off the snobbish aloofness shoveled around these circles.
But there again, I see this incredible emergence of highly aware people who are making good changes in their habits and lives and are setting a better example for the fashionistas of the future.
As always, as a cycle and as the way of the Universe, there is balance in all.
Namaste.

Get well.

2010-02-04T19:38:00.000+08:00

Stuck at home with the flu. Arrrgh.
Although I am rather happy that I actually have a reason to sleep all day.
And I know my body needs it.
I still can't help but wonder if it would socially irresponsible if I went for yoga anyhow.
YES IT IS!
Gosh, I wish more people would stay at home when their ill.
Coming out, eating at a public food court, exercising in gyms, taking public transport all require you to interact with other people, share space and yes spread germs.
That is socially irresponsible behavior.
Especially when you are the height of your sickness. The first 2 days. And you are most infectious.

Ok, so maybe I am restless at home. After washing Gizmo and his bed, cleaning out the termite remains, folding some laundry and putting in somemore, checking my facebook's Cafe World every 20 mins and giving it a whole renovation, I should either try and sleep now or lie down and rest my body. I guess I couldn't help but put it out there to all you sick people...
stay in, drink juices, sit on balconies and get better.
Don't go out and share germs so there won't be more sick people at home out there.

Get better soon.

FEAR!

2010-02-01T19:48:00.000+08:00

Fear fools us all.
No one of us completely eludes it and the weird thing is, the more we run from it, the more it comes to challenge us.
The moment we believe we have it under control, it stings us like a painful reminder to stay awake.
It feeds off all the anger we give it, and thrives on the paranoia lurking deep within.
We try to hide our fears only to realize how obviously we wear it, during all those ugly moments.
The power we give it stuns us and the control we so desperately want, slips away.

We always give excuses for fear. We are afraid to admit it controls us. What a paradox.

We cannot understand why it always gets the best of us. We are blinded by fear.

We need to be aware that we do not have to live in fear.
That we, as sentient beings, can be awakened to a happier, higher pattern of living.
But we must first break bad habits and self-sabotaging behavior, as well as develop awareness and compassion.
Trust our instincts.
"Worship the alter of our own intuition"
- quote from the book "The Gospel according to Coco Chanel".

What an awesome message.

So, as I write here... almost to myself.
As these lessons I talk about are my thoughts in words, in relation to an event in the day.
I would lie if I said my day was peaceful and meditative and joyous.
Today, I saw fear. I watched it rip away at two beings while they nurtured it with their pride.
A mirror and it's reflection.

Thus, my message to myself is...
Don't live with Fear, and Fear will not live with you.

It's not me, it's YOU.

2010-02-01T13:02:00.000+08:00

I don't think it's about me.
It ain't about making me happy or doing the things I ask.
It's about you.
Being aware of your thoughts and your actions.

It isn't about what I say or what you think I am trying to tell you.
It's about your interpretations and your perceptions and how you judge yourself.

Kels bought me Dharma cards for Xmas and it's suppose to be a meditation kit filled with the teachings of Buddha but in the introduction, there are so many messages...
I find it vital to share some with you.

Buddha's wisdom is a powerful tool for inner discovery.
You don't have to subscribe to any change or faith for his sayings to be helpful, nor do you have to alter your beliefs.
You simply need to understand that the insights Buddha offered are based on a very human desire to seek answers to questions about who and what we really are.

There are many who have awakened, but few among them who have the gift of bringing clarity to the world.
A Master is one who can transmit a teaching, who can inspire others to reach for their own awakening.

What a disciple typically wanted to hear a Master say was, "Listen to me, and learn from me. Then you can be like me."
Buddha was different. He emphasized one simple point.
"Watch yourself. Then you will learn from yourself how things are."

"Such a person's words must be listened to with an open mind.
You must judge for yourself whether or not someone speaks of the Dharma through real understanding. You must learn to recognize someone whose words are in harmony with their own inner discipline. Only if this can be established with certainty should such a person's words be recognized."

Now go and seek your own enlightenment.
Appa deepo bhava.
Become a light onto yourself.

Words of Buddha shared with us by Priya Hemenway.

Namaste.

I rise

2010-01-31T15:18:00.000+08:00

My Friday started with prayers at the Kwan Yin temple on Waterloo St before lunching with my girls, Kels Ana and Mick. Mick, a.k.a Killer Line is known for her wits and wicked sense of humor so it was fun to catch up with her and hear all about her New Year's adventures in New Zealand.

Our dear friend, and my personal Guru Yvette, was giving a Golden Light celebration workshop there as well as awaiting the birth of her first child with Barney.
Isis joined us here on Earth on the 9th Jan 2010 and she is a miracle in herself.
Mick had stories to tell us and Kels and I enthusiastically listened and absorbed NZ and it's power.
I would love to visit Barney and Yvy real soon. The only time I've visited New Zealand was when I was 4 yrs old and what I remember is vast landscapes, clean fresh air, lots of sheep, snug winter clothes, the Abhominable Snowman (that's another story in itself) and looking forward to fresh glass jars of milk on our motel doorstep every morning. For a 4 yr old, that's heaps.

So I stumble upon a Leonard Cohen poem the other day and have not been able to stop thinking about it. About how it spoke to me and brought me back to a certain memory.
And in true form, I went in search of more poetry. To inspire me.
And this is the next one I found, written by another one of my favorite poets....

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise. - Maya Angelou

So be it.

Malaysia Boleh, Maxout

2010-01-25T19:16:00.000+08:00

I keep putting off my blogging. I don't know why. Paul has told me time and again to jot down all my adventures...since he reckons I have so many.
Well this week, I will do so regularly. I don't want to force any resolutions on myself but I think documenting my 'exciting' life has benefits.
When I am old and grey and want to tell my grandkids stories, I will be able to read it to them even if my memory no longer serves me.
Anyways...
Last weekend, my friends at MaxOut Hydrosports and I took the speed boat over to Putri Harbour in JB for a suss out of the new neighboring marina and wakeboard the flat waters of the nearby swamps.
Firstly, let me say that although I spend a lot of time boating and most of my close friends are well into water sports, I would always watch them in awe and seldom got off my ass to try my hand (or legs) at it. In the decade I've hung out with this same group, I have only ever tried wakeboarding 4 or 5 times.
So, when we got to the strip perfect for wake skating, I just had to give it a go.
Maybe it was the vibe, or the sun shining brightly down on me and my body feeling good from all those intense classes of yoga, I went for it. And even threw in a few 180 turns. Wooohoooo. :)

After everyone of us had a session, we headed to the Seafood Kelong to feast on seafood. We had it all.... clams, crab, prawns, fish, sotong, veggie, lor mee and rice. Topped with ice cold Beer.
Slurp. I know now, that if we weren't so greedy and didn't stuff ourselves so silly, we could have easily gone back to board a 2nd set.
But sunset was approaching and we wanted to head back to Singapore Raffles Marina to stew in their lovely jacuzzi to relax our muscles.
And what a pretty sunset it was. Almost like a cherry topping on an awesome Sundae. No pun intented since it was a Saturday. :)
To check out pictures... check out MaxOut Hydrosports Pte Ltd online or join their FB page.
Pictures under the Malaysia Boleh album.
U gotta seeeeeee.....

all living beings.

2009-11-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

There never seems to be something current enough to write about.
So much happens these days, and so quickly, it's almost like we all can't keep up with one another.
I know my blog is mostly text. No eye catching pictures of skimpily dressed women or snaps of lovely landscapes although I sure as hell see a lot of both almost every day of my life.
I guess to me, the written word is just somehow less misleading.
The photographs often capture the fun, adventurous side of my me, and has reflected my career for a large part of my life.
So I guess my blogs share a deeper side of me, words that express my thoughts and emotions.
I have been painting lately, creating mandalas with my girlfriends and getting lost in seas of color.
I watched an elephant paint on youtube today and it brought me to tears.
With every stroke it painted, I laughed in awe as tears ran down my cheeks.
I felt the elephant's emotions and determination.
It made me think about what other capabilities animals had and how little of it they convey to us.
Do we underestimate their potential? Limit their blossoming with our narrow minds?
My 11-yr old schnauzer speaks to me. When I bring out my suitcase before a trip, Gizmo sits in the corner of the room to sulk while I pack. And as if to say, "take me with you"... he climbs into my open suitcase to sleep the night before I am scheduled to leave.
Other times, while I am hanging the washing or doing the dishes, he will position himself in good view of me to give me an approving nod when I am done.
No doubt the most painful is when I leave the house everyday and he sits at the front door with those pleading look in his eyes. It breaks my heart every time.
So maybe I am a total softy. And a sucker for needy behavior but the truth of the matter is...
To you, your Pet is a companion. To them, you are everything.

So here I am getting mushy about my doggy.
Somehow in my world at the moment, my Gizmo is pretty damn high up there.
I always feel like I never give him enough and he keeps on wagging his gorgeous little tail at me all the times that matter.

I guess these are the things I like to write about. Current matters in my world. And although I know it compares nothing to all the other important world issues, it is still my word. And my documentation on my way through life.
I write for myself, my creativity, my hopes and dreams.
And what I wish for is to relate and heal and inspire.
Get the word out that we must not put limitations on ourselves and always make the effort to see the deeper side of things. The unspoken, the undiscovered.
We have so much more of our minds to use, to develop our instincts, to uncover our soul purpose. Magic is not unfathomable but relies highly on feel and trust.
To say us, Humans are incapable of learning from Nature and Animals is putting a mental block on our minds. Stifling our very own evolution.
We need to be more aware, of ALL living things around us and sense their messages.
Mother Nature speaks, we have only to listen.

i feel strange

2009-10-16T13:33:00.000+08:00

I am in a strange space.
I do not feel disappointment in myself but I am questioning why I am in this predicament again.
I thought I had it figured out. I thought I took my precautions already.
Yes I know you cannot plan Life and you can never really predict how things turn out but I thought I was a good judge of character and I could see past the bullshit.
I just can't help but think....how many times do I need to stumble over assholes and get trampled on by dickheads to emerge victorious with a Hero?
Do men these days really enjoy being mediocre and dating shallow rag dolls?
If so, my future is bleak.
I just find it sad that in this day and age, women are still allowing their partners to call the shots while they do all the work. Sort out the laundry, nurture the relationship, handle the finances, organize the outings, stay in touch with the families.
If a MAN wants to enjoy the perks of a partnership, shouldn't he be able to provide well for himself as well as his significant other?

It's so predictable. When the sex is abundant, the tolerance is limitless.
And MEN still don't get it...
Woman like their Men to take charge, sort shit out and make it look EASY! That is SEXY!
A Man who has his stuff sorted out, in his own time, and done incognito.
Not flashed and discussed to every Tom, Dick & Harry, heeding advice from acquaintances and airing dirty laundry.

It truly baffles me. A man is so protective of his Ego but where is his Pride?
Isn't it just as important to earn respect and admiration? Doesn't it feel good to be relied upon and looked up to? Doesn't the sex feel more rewarding if it is offered instead of claimed?
Why do the same questions and problems keep arising if there is genuine effort made to change it? Are men truly incapable of selfless acts of concern?

Maybe I am just sick and grumpy and this flu bug has gotten the best of me or I could be pms'ing which is the most commonly used excuse for bitchy behavior although truthfully, I know I started this blog frustrated and have finished it more confused than before.

I don't often feel this challenged and I keep reminding myself to look for the lesson in it.
And I pray it comes clear soon.

Ma Gals!

2009-10-05T20:28:00.000+08:00

I realize that I have hardly shared much pictures on my blogspot but all that will change now considering I just scored a Canon 500D from my dearest friends for my birthday.
My good old Faithful Ixus 65 is taking a much needed break and in it's honor, I am sharing some great pics shot by it.
Pls take it away for the tribute to my Girlfriends....

The shot above is of Valerie and I at the Ivy in NYC drinking Pineapple martinis. I was pickled silly.

This picture was taken in LA at the Beverly Hills hotel Feb 2008 where Maggie, Sean and I gossiped and chatted over Bellinis all evening. Yum. Burp.

This hilarious shot was taken when Erika threw a Mad Hatter's Birthday party for her Hubby, Micheal and we all got to put on the Head Gear and picture ourselves at Burning Man. :)

Well there you have it. I would add more pics but am kind of confused with the photo layout system at the mo. But watch this space for more eye candy.

Bloomday Blues?

2009-10-05T19:58:00.000+08:00

Omygosh it's that time of year again. The week before my birthday.
And before I look through my blog to see what I wrote the past few years during this period,
I can already sense the nerves.
It's crazy. A part of me knows that time is man-made and yes a birthday celebrates the day One comes into this realm or dimension but ultimately, it is the intensity I feel, in the natural forces of the Universe that make it clear that year after year, cycle after cycle, this whole period is of a fragile one.
My soul feels vulnerable.
I start to question my existence and how much I have contributed to the scales.
I weigh my connections and review promises I made to myself, every birthday before.
I wonder if anyone would ever really accept and understand all these wacky cycles of mine.

The rituals I do for myself, remind me of my own achievements, my own code and my direction.
I do not indulge myself just for the fun of. In fact, quite the opposite.

Gatherings like Burning Man or WoMad music festivals celebrate that Mighty Energy of many beings all rejoicing, which is powerful.
But birthday gatherings, I have come to discover, are opportunities to surround yourself with a very encouraging and nurturing energy as the lessons are personal and the joys, very close to the Heart.

So my birthday wish this year is not just for me but for my Loved Ones and family.
I wish for Inspiration and Abundance, Passion and Joyous Energy, Faith and Blessings.
May we trust that the bad times are for purging and detoxification so when the rainbow appears, Golden Light will come pouring in.
So be It.

C

my F1 experience.

2009-09-28T15:22:00.000+08:00

Omigosh, I just had an unbelievable Sunday.
For my 1st ever F1 experience, I was invited to be guest of RightClicka Music and the Ferrari team.
I arrived at the Paddock Club about 4pm and walked around the village and marveled at the cars, the equipment, the mechanics, the quaint strips of 'al fresco' style booth line ups where gorgeous people sit and sip coffee.
The club suites are spread out between 3 floors and each floor, housing at least 15 suites accommodating to guests of Porsche, Ferrari, BMW, whom include people from the media, the entertainment industry, the creatives, outgoing entrepreneurs, fancy socialites, public relations people etc etc.
We are security checked, tagged :) and escorted to our "Club Suite box" which seems like a real pain to walk to but has the sickest view of the pits and start point. We see the Grand Stand ticket holders across from us, as we are parked right amongst it, with the actual racing cars prepping for the night, right beneath our dancing feet and free flow of drinks.
I go for a walk down to the pits and take some pictures on the track. I giggle like a little girl and stare wide-eyed at this incredible sight. I notice two Backstreet Boys taking pictures with the Ferrari and I wait my turn to get one.
It's 15 mins to race and I need to get back up to the cozy red plushy couches of the mscape lounge where the dj has on some groovy tunes, champagne is free flowing and there's a sashimi chef serving up sushi and other delicacies.
As I walk into the lounge, I see Carl Cox on my right and John Digweed sitting next to him.
Everyone's in a good mood and standing by the glass window waiting for the OK GO!
I plug in my ear plugs and stand by.
RACE ON.
After about ten laps or more, I walked toward the jetty right by the Singapore Flyer, which allowed me to enjoy more corners and close ups of the cars. Wow, those engines are powerful. And once again I stress, it is LOUD.
"Molly", comes to pick us up from dock to take us back to the Carpe Diem and Oriental Dream tied up together. Now I am watching the race from a yacht anchored in the marina barrage.
Wow... what a blessing.
Last few laps, Hamilton in the lead. Wow.... won it by a mile. Congrats Hamilton.
Back on the BOAT, my friends are all here and we sit and chat and eat on the fly bridge and cheers to a fun-filled day.
We look up at the Moon, shining there so proudly and lovely and thank our lucky stars.
What a fabulous Grand Prix Formula One Singapore experience!

Woooooot Woooooot... or is it Bruuuummmm Brrrrrruuuummmmmm now?

Within and without

2009-09-11T18:52:00.000+08:00

I always feel nervous after interviews with journalists.
I hope they write a gracious article and I hope they quote me accurately.
When I am free to express myself through my own words, I have clarity to answer my own questions at my own time.
Sometimes when you are trying to convey a message, it can often be misunderstood, or misquoted.
We often want to believe that the Press are the people's watchdog.
That they have our best interest at heart.
We hope and believe they want to tell us the truth, from an unbiased perspective so we may judge for ourselves.
But we all know, shamefully, that malice and gossip and viciousness is what gets the better of our attention.
We want to know the dirt. We find excitement in the hostile.
Many of us believe, and probably rightfully so, that none of us can live on love and fresh air.
But none of us have to live in poverty or shame or hunger either.
We do not need to suffer to succeed.
It is not a universal or divine law that we have to go through some kind of turmoil to reap the benefits and emerge triumphant.
The Universe is 'way' abundant.
We bring forth what we give out. And we can all give out goodness.
In every day things, in the way you look at the person next to you on the MRT, or the person you jog pass on your night runs, :) It could be smiling at every elderly person you see, or simply opening the door for someone.
Interacting with society and talking to one another with respect.
People are so interesting when they are happy. They send out all this joyous energy.

I think the only 'entrapment' the media in Singapore should be doing is the comedy central stuff. "Just for laughs" is a great reflection of how jovial Canadians are and pranks like that always brings out the true nature of those happy people. Even some of the Japanese skits they do now. Wow those people really give new meaning to the term..."It's all good" while it laughing off.
Look, I am not suggesting productions go "Jackass" scare Singaporeans all around the island.
What I am saying is...
Let's document and represent a Happy Singapore with original Singaporeans.
A garden city where the heartland is nurturing and cultured.
Support our roots and celebrate our 'Uniqueness' as our banner says but do it whole-heartedly. Believe that our country, though small in size on the map of the world, is proud of it's home bred, love it's local talent, embrace their deep rooted beliefs but share them with those who come.

We cannot get the world to notice us if we ourselves do not notice what is within.

My NDP 2009

2009-08-11T00:43:00.000+08:00

I cannot get to sleep. My head is running in circles after a restless week.
I was glad to catch up with old pals and drink ourselves to oblivion on Thursday, but that careless behavior led me on a stressful weekend experience.
Nonetheless, fairies blessed my Sunday.
Aidan and I gave Gizmo a bath out on the veranda, played with the neighbor's kids and celebrated Singapore's National Day by doing what we love doing... spending time with each other.
By the time we realized it was only an hour before the fireworks were set to go off,
we speedily got ourselves dolled up (in red & white, of course) and jumped into the car, expecting bad traffic and absolutely no way of getting parking, or getting to where we needed to on time.
Miraculously, the drive in was smooth and we passed the parade on the ECP about 8pm.
We decided to exit off Prince Edward and as we drove along Robinson Road, we could see herds of people fill the streets and pavements, all hovering, staring at the night sky, waiting to witness the 44th NDP fireworks.
Traffic was slow but moving. And after only 10 minutes, we were turning into the Fullerton Hotel car park, racing to find a space so we could make the 'performance' in time.
I kid you not... but as we emerged from the lifts, onto One Fullerton's waterfront ... the magic began.
Aidan stood behind me, wrapping me in his arms, and we both stared up at the sparkling, blazing sky watching the myriad of colors burst all over the black of night.
Witnessing our first fireworks show together, excluding the magical one only He and I shared the first time he kissed me.
When it was over, we joined our friends for dinner and drinks at Overeasy and feasted our nation's independence.
Some of my girlfriends who had been to the National Day Parade, arrived with goodies bags filled with fun props and memorabilia, gushed with stories about Ivan Heng's direction for the parade and how patriotic and heart-warming it all was.
We didn't have a late one as we were both tired and I was still not feeling a 100%.

Mondays have always been challenging for me.
And I know people may agree that nobody likes Mondays but personally, I think it's because I have sub consciously been a Sunday addict. It doesn't even make sense.
As far as I can remember, in my line of work, a normal work week is never defined by weekdays and weekends.
We work when there are jobs, whatever occasion or public holiday and for however long the project requires and on the flip side, there are times we don't work for weeks... if the season says so. Or no, to be more accurate.
So I'm not even sure where I developed this dependency for Lazy Sundays and a rebellion for Manic Mondays. As far as time is concerned, it's either a 'work day' or not.
I refuse to believe the answer lies in my childhood cathechism classes and the teachings of Sabbath day yet I cannot help but feel the reasoning reflects my need to feel 'normal'.
To develop some kind of routine for myself.
So I can find my own cycle.

And so I sit here, on a Tuesday morning, after a lousy Monday, unable to fall asleep.
Wondering if I can pull my plans together and thrive through my week ahead and be as productive as I can be, according to my schedule, come morning.

When you open up...

2009-07-19T00:57:00.001+08:00

Amongst yogis, the term "open up" is often used in a posture when you open your heart chakra, push your chest out and shine like the sun.
To open up in the spiritual world, you accept the messages sent to you and you are receptive to gifts of the Universe.
In love, you open up emotionally and surrender your trust to the Divine Laws of Attraction.

To open up means to go with the flow and let magic take place.
To leave all your worries to your Higher Being and let your purpose happen naturally.
To laugh and dance and feel peace with the World and Love toward all.
To cry when you need to release and purge when you need to detox.
To listen when you need to nourish and absorb and to meditate when you need solitude.

In all worlds and amongst all Beings, we must open up and trust.
Let love shine. Let things be and let go when you must.
Freedom is flying with the flow.

Dedicated to my Goddesses. Thank you for our Kwan Yin 'PlayShop' today.

Your stones.

2009-07-17T19:15:00.000+08:00

For a long time now, crystals and gemstones have been associated with healing and magic.
Wrapped in ancient stories and historical here-says, they are not only beautiful to the eyes but warming for the soul.
By now, everyone of us would own a couple but not think much of it.
Others, have a whole drawer... some to wear, others to carry and some more... just because.
Either ways, it's time to play with them. Hold them, wear them. Look at them. Charge them with energy.
Here is a very short summarized crystal list of the powers of the more popular stones.
The ones I suspect, we might ALL have right now, at home.

Amethyst (a purple quartz);
Known to help with sleep, or nightmares and soothes insomniacs, Amethyst is the stone of peace.
Wards off guilt and self-deception so it helps overcome addictions and amongst many other healing powers, amethyst also improves memory.

Diamonds;
Known to help with cleansing, releasing and purifying issues linked with sexuality.
Also promotes self confidence in relations to the opposite sex.
Contrary to popular belief, the diamond is not a stone of love, but can be worn for reconciliation.

Turquoise;
Known to be a protective stone. A ring may be worn to fend off evil eyes and promotes courage.
Also helps with the health, alleviates headaches and strengthens the eyes.
Worn as a necklace, it bestows abundance.

Crystal, Quartz;
The Great Mother Stone. Helps with healing and psychic abilities.
There are so many different colors of the stone and different healing properties for each color
but know that this stone is symbolic of the spirit and intellect of human beings.
Although easily acquired, this crystal has been underestimated for it benefits.
If the stone is properly cleansed and charged before wearing or using, it is a magical stone.
Blue helps with peace and tranquility. Green may stimulate creativity. Rose attracts love and opens the heart chakra. Smoky quartz is a mood elevator and Tourmalated quartz stimulates astral projections.

Jade;
Known to prevent disease and health troubles in both Chinese and Mayan traditions.
Also said to contain money-attracting energies when used positively and productively.
Jade is even a stone of wisdom and helps with reasoning.

So there we have it. A little bit about your stones... :)
Have a moment with them... share energy.
And start becoming more aware of how it affects you everyday.
Enjoy.

Let me love you the way I know how.

2009-07-07T14:39:00.000+08:00

Let me help you grow as a person.
Let me push you and inspire you to help yourself.
Let me give you what I can, when I can.. and save the rest for my own nourishment.
Let me tickle your funny bone and nibble on your ears.
Let me be angry when you deserve it and let me be sad when I deserve to be.
Let me shine with you and smile with you.
Let me love my body as a temple and I'll let you worship it when you want.
Let me vent when I must so I may be there for you when you must.

Keep me calm, peaceful and assured and I will keep you happy, supported and loved.
Keep me secure and stable and I will keep you grounded.
Keep me excited and curious and I will keep you satisfied.
Keep me guessing once in awhile and I will surprise you too.

Stay sincere and loyal and I will mirror you.
Stay focused and strong because I will stand beside you.
Stay patient and accepting because I see the awe of you.
Stay sensual and warm because I see the animal in you.
Stay happy because I love you.
And will love you the best way I know how.

Public Transport....aarrggghhh mrt!

2009-07-01T19:02:00.000+08:00

I took the MRT home today, in peak hour. And let me say, it is not a pleasant experience.
Firstly, I have decided to use public transport more regularly to cut costs and to do my bit ecologically. I have already made a pledge to myself to cut back on my holidays and work travels so I may reduce my carbon footprint, one step at a time. But being stuck in the MRT during peak hour sucks. Really.
There's always the inconsiderate traveler, the one that stops at the entrance of the train, or stands extremely close to you, or those who practically press themselves up against you as if you weren't even there no matter how many times you say "excuse me."
Then there are the passengers that ignore. They look like robots abducted them, pulled out their 'social consciousness' microchip left them there, on transit waiting for the next activation. You could be looking straight at them, ask them to move over a wee bit or if they wouldn't mind taking their lovely heel out of the flesh between your toes and they still wouldn't say a word and just turn away.
And the guilty looking person, plonked in "needy" chair, never looking up once to see if there really was an old lady or man on the train. Hoping nobody's going to poke him in the shoulder and get him/her to give up the seat.
Before I had got onboard, I was going through my yoga practice. Running through my head, what my body was feeling after one hour of power yoga and my mind was at peace. I felt stronger. I was standing straighter, breathing deeper and my muscles felt tired but empowered.
But somehow today, being around the MRT crowd left me feeling blocked and frustrated.
And I know sometimes, it's as easy as 'snapping out of it", training your mind to shut out.
Then I think, oh gosh, I don't want to be that sort of traveler, the one that is in robotland. Numb.
I want to be polite and considerate and hopefully encourage those around me to do so too.
I don't know why I am writing this... maybe it is a plea.
Let's be thoughtful and respectful of each other's space.
And become aware of your natural contribution in energy towards those around you.
We, as Singaporeans are so educated and well-read and modern, how come we still need campaigns for courtesy?
Are we that barbaric, still?
Not to see the bigger picture and how we effect the Universe. I do not believe so.
So I hope the next time I am on the MRT, which will be soon, I notice better social responsibility and we can ALL help each other live harmoniously and maintain a peaceful way in this already chaotic world.

Namaste.

The face of "Audi Fashion Festival" 2009 Charmaine Harn

2009-04-26T01:28:00.003+08:00

"Of all the beauty's I have experienced in my career, few can hold a candle to Charmaine. Her grace, elegance, and timeless beauty are only second to her light. That, for me, is what puts her, and keeps her, right at the top". -Maggie Q

While her modeling career began ordinarily enough, having being discovered by a talent scout on the street at 14, it's how Charmaine's career has maintained momentum that is of greatest note. From her beginning with Singapore's Faces & Places agency to becoming the face of Singapore for well over a decade, Charmaine's climb to the top has yet to plateau.

Personally selected by Eileen and Bill Ford in the "Ford Supermodel of the World" competition in 1996 as Singapore's sole representative, Charmaine went on to Miami to represent Singapore in the international competition for the event which manifested into an offer to work in Paris under Ford's representation. After a few months in Paris and Miami, she then spent the next few years shuttling between Shanghai, Taiwan, Malaysia, Singapore, Jakarta and Hong Kong for fashion shoots, print ads, TV commercials, editorials and big brand fashion shows. In 2004, Charmaine based herself in Milan and got acquainted with the Italian scene. Well enough to be chosen to open the Costume Nationale show that very same year.

Today, established and recognized, she has appeared on the cover of several magazines from Elle to Sports Illustrated, in print ads for Sony, TV spots for Osim and in Asia and South East Asia shows for Chanel, Gucci, and Louis Vuitton, among many others under the aegis of Ave Model Management (Singapore) and Starz People (Hong Kong). Charmaine was also the host of Channel News Asia's luxury lifestyle program, "Diary of Indulgence" program and was hailed by Harper's Bazaar Singapore as one of the most fashionable women in Asia.

With no signs of slowing down, Charmaine's impressive list of accolades and features continues to build as she represents a uniquely Singaporean beauty to the world.
-Stevie G

मेदिताते.

2009-04-25T15:52:00.001+08:00

And yet we have to deal with it again.
The ignorance, the lack of drive, the unawareness of the need for personal growth.
We encounter situations like these time and time again.
Some days, we are careful enough not to put ourselves in that energy and some days, you are just soaked in it.
Ideally, we remember our purpose, maintain our positivity and share some of that fruitful knowledge that we have been blessed with.
But it is hard not to question if we have the strength to deal with it unnecessarily, too often.
Creative souls need solitude. Every once in awhile, space and silence is critical to ease their noisy minds. And this time is sacred yet vital to staying productive and centered.
I'm not sure if it's just because I am a Libra but I've always believed that every challenging deed deserves a reward. Whether big or small. We are all entitled to live a little, as they say.
One of my theories in life is you make a life, not a living.
And a lifestyle you live, you will make enough money to keep. If you think poor, stinge a lot and calculate every penny, then you will earn just enough to upkeep that lifestyle.
If you share and radiate generously and live your life like it's golden..
it shall be.
Stick to what you know... and dedicate yourself to it.
Learn focus... we could ALL always do with more focus.
Find ways to improve your know-how. Research.
If you're tired of looking... Read.
Take the time to SEE and absorb. And accept.
Meditate,
Namaste.

इ रेस्ट माय केस.

2009-04-24T11:02:00.000+08:00

By TARA PARKER-POPE

Published: April 20, 2009

In the quest for better health, many people turn to doctors, self-help books or
herbal supplements. But they overlook a powerful weapon that could help them
fight illness and depression, speed recovery, slow aging and prolong life:
their friends.

Researchers are only now starting to pay attention to the importance of
friendship and social networks in overall health. A 10-year Australian study
found that older people with a large circle of friends were 22 percent less
likely to die during the study period than those with fewer friends. A large
2007 study showed an increase of nearly 60 percent in the risk for obesity
among people whose friends gained weight. And last year, Harvard researchers
reported that strong social ties could promote brain health as we age.

“In general, the role of friendship in our lives isn’t terribly well
appreciated,” said Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sociology at the University
of North Carolina, Greensboro. “There is just scads of stuff on families and
marriage, but very little on friendship. It baffles me. Friendship has a bigger
impact on our psychological well-being than family relationships.”

In a new book, “The Girls From Ames: A Story of Women and a 40-Year Friendship”
(Gotham), Jeffrey Zaslow tells the story of 11 childhood friends who scattered
from Iowa to eight different states. Despite the distance, their friendships
endured through college and marriage, divorce and other crises, including the
death of one of the women in her 20s.

Using scrapbooks, photo albums and the women’s own memories, Mr. Zaslow
chronicles how their close friendships have shaped their lives and continue to
sustain them. The role of friendship in their health and well-being is evident
in almost every chapter.

Two of the friends have recently learned they have breast cancer. Kelly
Zwagerman, now a high school teacher who lives in Northfield, Minn., said that
when she got her diagnosis in September 2007, her doctor told her to surround
herself with loved ones. Instead, she reached out to her childhood friends,
even though they lived far away.

“The first people I told were the women from Ames,” she said in an interview. “I
e-mailed them. I immediately had e-mails and phone calls and messages of
support. It was instant that the love poured in from all of them.”

When she complained that her treatment led to painful sores in her throat, an
Ames girl sent a smoothie maker and recipes. Another, who had lost a daughter
to leukemia, sent Ms. Zwagerman a hand-knitted hat, knowing her head would be
cold without hair; still another sent pajamas made of special fabric to help
cope with night sweats.

Ms. Zwagerman said she was often more comfortable discussing her illness with
her girlfriends than with her doctor. “We go so far back that these women will
talk about anything,” she said.
Ms. Zwagerman says her friends from Ames have been an essential factor in her
treatment and recovery, and research bears her out. In 2006, a study of nearly
3,000 nurses with breast cancer found that women without close friends were
four times as likely to die from the disease as women with 10 or more friends.
And notably, proximity and the amount of contact with a friend wasn’t
associated with survival. Just having friends was protective.

Bella DePaulo, a visiting psychology professor at the University of California,
Santa Barbara, whose work focuses on single people and friendships, notes that
in many studies, friendship has an even greater effect on health than a spouse
or family member. In the study of nurses with breast cancer, having a spouse
wasn’t associated with survival.
While many friendship studies focus on the intense relationships of women, some
research shows that men can benefit, too. In a six-year study of 736 middle-age
Swedish men, attachment to a single person didn’t appear to affect the risk of
heart attack and fatal coronary heart disease, but having friendships did. Only
smoking was as important a risk factor as lack of social support.

Exactly why friendship has such a big effect isn’t entirely clear. While friends
can run errands and pick up medicine for a sick person, the benefits go well
beyond physical assistance; indeed, proximity does not seem to be a factor.

It may be that people with strong social ties also have better access to health
services and care. Beyond that, however, friendship clearly has a profound
psychological effect. People with strong friendships are less likely than
others to get colds, perhaps because they have lower stress levels.

Last year, researchers studied 34 students at the University of Virginia, taking
them to the base of a steep hill and fitting them with a weighted backpack.
They were then asked to estimate the steepness of the hill. Some participants
stood next to friends during the exercise, while others were alone.
The students who stood with friends gave lower estimates of the steepness of the
hill. And the longer the friends had known each other, the less steep the hill
appeared.

“People with stronger friendship networks feel like there is someone they can
turn to,” said Karen A. Roberto, director of the center for gerontology at
Virginia Tech. “Friendship is an undervalued resource. The consistent message
of these studies is that friends make your life better.”

Mon Amour.....

2009-03-31T00:33:00.000+08:00

Aidan got into a wake skate accident today and damn it must have been painful.
He was trying a trick on the water, behind the boat, and as he jumped it and fell, his arm got hooked on the handle and basically pulled his upper forearm muscle along the bone to his wrist.
As Ryan swung the boat around and we approached him, it was apparent he was badly hurt.
When he climbed out of the water onto the boat, his arm looked as if he had a ping pong ball under the skin near his wrist bone and his upper forearm was swollen red, badly bruised and slightly nicked. He yelled out in pain and Ryan immediately got a bag of ice for it.

He was in shock for awhile and spent some time calming his throbbing heart.
Then, like a trooper he watched some more wakeboarding videos in the office, shopped in the maxout store for a bit and laughed and joked with the crew before heading out.
He totally took it like a champ and after stopping by the Doctor's, we grabbed some kolo mee along Killiney and he took me skating to try out my new Gravity board.

I hope when he wakes up for work tomorrow, the arm would have rested, the swelling reduced and healing starting to take place. His upper forearm is swollen about twice the size at the moment but icing seems to help it although we were advised to monitor it in case of "Crush Syndrome" which is a condition where the sudden impact to the body part puts it's nerves in too much shock to totally recover.

So as I sit here, ending my day and blogging as honestly as I can remember, I dedicate this piece to Aidan, my man. The one with a solid heart, strong as steel, warm like gold. I hope you get well quick and I wish you the strength to heal. You already have the patience of a Saint, the courage of a Hero, passion like the Sun and the will of an Angel....

May this time encourage you to meditate more, appreciate little actions and bathe in Mother Nature and her wonders. Read, Listen, Discover and practice with your left arm. :)
Drum, vibrate and Shine Mon Amour.
Bisous.

:)

2009-03-02T20:14:00.001+08:00

I am in a current state of bliss.
I feel loved, I feel happy, money doesn't matter to me and I am not afraid.
I am present. I am aware that I reap what I sow so I am planting positivity and joy.
I know I could always develop more patience but I am proud of myself lately and my peaceful state of mind.
I know the things and people who are important to me and I feel understood by them.
I feel no need to prove myself unnecessarily and I am not in defense mode.
I am appreciated and I appreciate myself.
I feel purposeful.

Bali as Home

2009-02-15T01:05:00.000+08:00

Now I can understand how living in Bali in 2007 turned my life around.
In every aspect. Love. Career. Life lessons. Sorrow. Independence.
I still do not know now, if I made the right decision to live there so soon in my life.
Bali is Balance. And power. and Karma. Living there has it's price.
To have a lifestyle so filled with freedom, tests the soul respectively.
Bali is the core of ying and yang.
There is such a magic that marries the mystical and rawness of the island.
And Bali never fails to lure you into it's wondrous spell of bliss and abandonment.
It is a secret love affair.
It is one I care not to discuss casually and I find myself often making excuses to justify my coyness on the subject.
It is my time out and an awakening all wrapped up in padi fields, impulsive bike rides with the wind in my hair, visiting sacred lands, making magical friendships and feeling exhilaration like you've never felt before.
As I deepened myself in that cocoon.
Living the life like I dreamed, the rest of the world faded from my memory.
Nothing else mattered and all I knew was Bali.
Day after day, sunset walks ,mountain trails and the long drives through the countryside as well as, a few drunken nights I would crawled into bed trashed.
Those lovely beach walks calmed my mind everyday and I developed an inner peace which I still use in much needed situations today.
Bali makes one take the time to understand people. You do things that make you or whoever you are in Bali with, happy. You share everything. You steal nothing.

The thing is, I look at my pictures from back then... and I can see the change in my gaze, and the warming of my skin tone. It's the Bali blessing I guess.
I think it was because Bali helped me develop spiritually, I spent my 30th bday there and I still believe up to this day.. that something shifted in me that day.
It was an extremely intense and confronting time for me and Bali seemed to cushion my fall and was the rock I so needed at that point in time.
I know that I will always be bonded to Bali by some magical silver cord because when I think of Bali today,
my heart still flutters. I am still curious. I still want a little bit more.
Like a love affair, like a drug.
I crave it. And when it stings, it scars me.
But every time I leave it, it burns a wee bit more.

So Bali... I love our love affair.
Til we meet again....

Love Thyself.

2009-02-12T19:07:00.000+08:00

Steer clear of negativity and nourish the mind with only good wholesome thoughts and intentions.
Practice kind speech and habituate patience since compassion is the key to inner peace.
When we feel tired or unappreciated, rely on solitude and quiet time to reflect and rejuvenate.
When we feel challenged, act only with love.
When we are lonely, seek refuge in friends or family and turn to inward contemplation to deliberate the root of your detachment.
I know this all sounds a lot easier preached than performed but affirmations rarely fail and reminding yourself of all you have, reassures the mind and spirit of positive realizations.

Surrounding yourself with people who bring out the best in you is critical.
Be it your best friend, partner, family members or colleagues, do not feel guilty for overlooking acquaintances and 'energy sappers' simply because 'charity' friendships often leave you regretful and resentful.
Every person holds different energy fields and there is nothing wrong with only wanting to be around those on the same wavelength as you are. But do not misunderstand me...and start cutting off old friends or start being mean to anyone who knows less than you do.... as everyone evolves and learns in their own time and your positivity is what will inspire them.

When a loved one is disheartened, offer support and sanctuary and try to lift their spirits.
Remember a sad heart feels fear and all you need to give to help is nonjudgmental consideration and a fresh perception. So listen up and hug. And promise to be around when needed and make the effort. Being the light in someone else's darkness tenders enlightenment.

Alert yourself every morning with affirmations and meditation and train your mind to maintain child-like enthusiasm in all you do. Be kind to animals for their souls are pure and a great judge of character. React respectfully, with clarity and piety as life is a mirror and we get what we give.
Love yourself enough to see the beauty in everyday blessings.

To inspire is to nurture the heart which blossoms the soul.

Have a shining week.
Namaste

The beauty of this piece is I wrote it almost exactly a year ago. 3rd March 2008 to be exact.
But reading it again now and sharing it has lifted me. Hope you like it. x C

Love vs. Distance

2009-02-11T19:07:00.000+08:00

In this day and age, with such available accessibility...
Love has yet another obstacle to tackle.
These days, you hear of 'German mixed Koreans' in relationships with 'Pakistani mixed South Americans'. Multi-racial relationships are common.
Love seems to transcend race, oceans, continents, even dimensions.
Long distant relationships are common and partners now are use to being separated for months at a time, often due to individual career paths.
I use to think it impossible to survive and cope in a long distance relationship, believing it was inconceivable to 'be with someone' and yet feel lonely most of the time.
I like to share thoughts, events of the day and cuddles in front of the TV most nights.
But lately, I see the benefits of personal time and lesser distractions, especially if the relationship inspires each other to pursue their goals.
I remember a friend asking me once, "Charm, most of the things you do in a day, do you find the need to tell someone about it? I mean do u think if only u knew, it would mean less?"
Strange question I know, but it did get me thinking...
Some couples get that way, they share every little single detail of the day, relying on the reaction of their partner to justify or rate their doings.
Almost as if they didn't know why or how or when for themselves.
Distance eliminates all those daily nitty gritty...
Be it on the phone or through emails...Lovers talk about caressing each other, looking into one another's eyes, kissing, hugging, planning when to see each other again.
I heard a saying once...
"Being in love is giving someone your heart and trusting they won't break it."
Distance gives that trust a whole new dimension.
It's almost like sharing a beautiful secret, across borders, over mountains.
Believing that even though each of you are experiencing something extremely different, be it culture or time zones, you are both still working together on a connection you two believe links your hearts.
And eventually, when both your paths cross again, there is much more appreciation of the presence of being.
Being able to feel each other's skin, touch each other again, make breath-taking love.
And the wonderful shift in knowing that trust and love was well worth it simply because wherever we were,when you weren't together and whoever we were with....
both parties just wanted to be with each other instead and patiently willed it so.
That shared vision leads down the sweet path of manifestation
and what we focus on, we will eventually become....

So maintain focus... and follow your Heart.
Love manifests in strange ways.

HE

2009-02-11T18:58:00.000+08:00

He sat across the room from me...watching me. With part fascination and part curiosity.

The room was filled with smoke, bodies gyrating to the loud pumping music and and sexual sorcery.
Every once in awhile our eyes would meet and he would lock his gaze into mine as if trying to read my mind.

I stand there, swaying to the rhythm, rather intoxicated by the atmosphere and the four martinis I had. My friends are dancing all around me, some seated at a table not far away, chugging down bottles of vodka and some at the bar giggling amongst themselves.
Everyone around us is completely unaware of this little game that has started between strangers.

I break away from the dancefloor, walk over to the bar to finish my drink and set myself up for another one.

I lose myself in conversation with my friends at the bar and return to the table to find that he is no longer where I saw him last.
I jump straight on the dance floor and boogie down to the DJ's awesome grooves.
The energy is orgasmic. The vibes are euphoric.

I am offered a glass of champagne and I take it. Not for one moment questioning if I really should be having yet another drink especially since mixing drinks usually equal to trouble.
I ponder on it barely a second before I take a huge swig and set my sights back on the room.

I start to twiddle my shoulders and close my eyes, taking in the sounds of the party.
I feel someone step up behind me and I get a whiff of a delicious cologne.
For a second I think " Mmmmm a man who smells ....yummy."
I refuse to turn around. It's probably one of my fabulously metrosexual guy friends.

I hear a low sexy voice whisper in my ear, "Excuse me, ... Charmaine?"
I look over my shoulder and realize it's (guess who) adressing me.
I turn around and look at his strong face and say "Do I know you?"
He hands me a vodka martini and smiles.
And puts his other hand out as if asking for my hand and I look at him in puzzlement.
He hand reaches out for my champagne glass, and he pulls it softly from my grasp.
I open my mouth to thank him but he steps back and says
"You look like you are having a ball...please don't let me interrupt."
"Thank you for my drink." I manage.
He smiles and walks away.

I stand on the dance floor, perfectly chilled vodka martini just the way I like in, in hand and jaw sweeping the floor.
I tell myself.."That was a refreshing approach" and I smile at him now standing at the bar.
I start dancing again and sip away at my Dirty martini
and he stands there watching me with part curiosity and part appreciation.

Chivalry, class, mystery and charm...yum.

Everyone knows I want to be a Goddess.

2009-02-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

Or at least I hope everyone knows.

It may seem like a fairy tale dream or an insane ambition but I don't care.
I want to inspire little girls and guide gorgeous women.
I want to have special powers like making wishes come true and rewarding kind acts with beautiful gifts.
I want to be able to fly. I want to see the world through nothing but loving eyes.
I want to save the forest and I want to teach the children.
I want to bring a smile to everyone's face.
I'd like to spend days amongst the trees, in quiet contemplation and pray for all of humankind.
I'd like to feed the hungry, starting with the ones I love.
I want to share hope and bring joy when times are gloomy and
I want to shine when times are dark.

I want to chase sunsets and live by the ocean.
For water calms me and speaks to me.
My pretty home will sit on a cliff overlooking Mother Nature's wonder and every evening I will salute her in awe.
I want to take my dogs for long walks on the beach and I want to lay for hours in a huge hammock.
I want to read stories to children and play fun games with them.
I want my friends to be happy. And I want to be part of their happy lives.
I'd like to sing and dance and celebrate every chance I get....
I want to write a book. Fill it with memoirs and stories of my travels, my experiences, my life.
To share the gift of knowledge and to spread the word of Wonder.
To live a positive life and spread enthusiasm and optimism.
I want to find true love.
The sort that makes my heart flutter and my knees weak.
And I want to love without condition. Give my ALL to One
and gradually be able to share that love with ALL.

Everybody knows I want to be a Goddess... or at least I think everyone knows.

Being Present!

2009-01-10T00:29:00.000+08:00

"Form is emptiness, emptiness is form."

From a Buddhist point of view, we spend most of our life in ignorance of our true nature and this creates suffering. Basically, this means we think that there is me in here, and the world exists out there, and they are separate.
What the Heart Sutra is actually telling us is that the world and I exist as a co-arising experience in each and every moment. Another way of seeing this is to realize that both the perceived world outside and the one perceiving both arise from the same source; therefore they are interdependent and can't be separate.
As one scientist put it, "We are what the Universe has created in order to understand itself."

It is useful to remind ourselves why Buddhism is called the Middle Way: rather than being caught up in either of the extremes of emptiness or form, we can see that both exist independently. If we look at this in relation to our mind, we can see that awareness is ever present, clear and luminous. You can't grasp awareness, you can't bottle it up, and at the same time awareness can said to exist.

So, for example, we might sit with the question "Who am I? Who is the one that is aware?" When we allow ourselves the space and time to really look at the nature of awareness itself, we can start to be with all that actually exists in our present moment.

We can stay with the ever-present witnessing awareness, the nature of mind, which is like a mirror, reflecting all forms but never in itself being tainted by the endless stream of forms that arise. Meditation allows us to be with the manifestation of life in every moment. And the true meditation is when we can integrate this presence into all areas of our life. Whether we are playing with the children or waiting at the bus stop, the essence of the Heart Sutra reminds us that everything is always changing, including ourselves. As the great Zen master Dogen reminds us;
:To know yourself is to forget your self, to forget your self is to be awakened by all things. "
- Huw Wyn.

Reflections of my 2008

2008-12-29T22:19:00.000+08:00

Looking through my 2008 diary, I come across quotes I picked up during the year. The ones that spoke to me enough for me to write it down in my little black book.
They are reminders and summaries of lessons I learned through all my encounters throughout the year.
It tells of the books I have read, the places I have been, the people I have met and my theories for life.
I would like to share some of my favorites with you.

"Life, if you keep chasing it so hard, will drive you to death.
Time - when pursued like a bandit - will behave like one;
Always remaining one country or one room ahead of you, changing its' name and hair color to elude.
At some point, you have to stop because it won't. You have to admit that you can't catch it.
At some point, you got to let it go and sit still and allow contentment to come to you." - Eat, Pray, Love Liz Gilbert.

"The Doctor of the future will not prescribe drugs; but will empower the patient with knowledge of nutrition and diet. Thereby prescribing self-healing..." Life Cafe, HK

"A Mother is the truest friend we have, when trails heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still she will cling to the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." - Washington Irving.

"Don't think, don't ask, just DAnce!
Move through Life like a drop of water.
Falling, flowing, rising, drifting. Free your boundaries.
Fly, Plunge, Run, Stop!
But always mirror the Light." - The Mirror Cards.

"The premise of objective journalism is to record and relay the truth of things, as if truth were out there, hanging around, waiting for the reporter to show up."

"Happiness comes more from loving than being loved; and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding.
To Love, and to be hurt often, and to love again - this is the Brave and Happy Life. - J. Buchrose

"People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. - Anonymous

Here's wishing you the very best in 2009.
Namaste.

Seasons Greetings

2008-11-28T20:12:00.000+08:00

Less than a month away from Christmas now.
All the decorations are coming up and carols fill the air reminding everyone the festive season is here.
People start saying "Seasons greetings" and everywhere you turn, bright lights not only illuminate the buildings, but the sky too.
I have always been a huge Xmas fan. I know that sounds strange but I love the vibe it gives out. The season to be jolly apparently, and a time for giving.. as the sayings goes.
This year, somehow I have not felt it yet. The financial shit has hit the fan, there is war and bombings, if not earthquakes killing countless innocent lives. Everyone is feeling the pressure of how fast the year flew by. More so than any other year I remember, 2008 has zipped through.
An extremely harsh year for most, the karmic hand hit hard and life reared it's rude awakenings.
It seems too unfair to say, "Think positive! Look ahead, it'll all come around."
We know at the back of our heads that the road ahead is pretty bumpy.
We are going to have to hang in there and really support one another.
"When I'm weak, I draw strength from you, and when I lost, I know how to change your mood, when I'm down you breathe live over me. Even when we apart we are each others destiny."
The chorus from one of my favorites song. Goes to show how music speaks the heart.
It is so difficult to resist all this turmoil threatening the hope, the belief that minds will be twisted and compassion crushed.
Life is not a contract. Relationships are not bounded by what we can do for each other.
Friendships are not on a come and go basic. We are not that diluted. And we should never be.
There is always room to love, to share, to rely on. We want to invest in loyalty and trust and understanding. And forgiveness and growth and moving forward.
We all contribute differently to each other's lives. The energy I share with my favorite guy friend feeds a whole separate side of my soul, while hanging out with goddesses nurtures another part. We need to appreciate each person's energy exchange and treasure it for what it is worth.
"Only when the last tree has been cut down; Only when the last river has been poisoned; Only when the last fish has been caught; Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten." As the American Indian proverb goes.
So for the festive season this year, we need to center and ground ourselves and be as true with our intentions as we possibly can. Give genuinely and live from the heart.
A gesture of kindness touches the soul much deeper than a pricey present.
Make it a point to spend time alone to look inside and decide what your heart needs. Because when you think about it, we all need to reassess our lives, consider our priorities and live life to the best we can. We all want purpose, we want to contribute, change the world. Have our voices heard. Make a little bit of history. But we must always remember to take some time out to consider your true intentions. To see if you are on the right path. In the right direction.
Whatever it is, you must learn not to offend those who love and support you.
Not ego, but love will get you where you aspire to be.
Namaste.

Kota Kinabalu

2008-11-11T19:53:00.000+08:00

I just had a blessed weekend. One of the best, I would consider, ever.
Late Saturday afternoon, I left Hong Kong for Kota Kinabalu, Sabah.
After a 3 hour flight, it took us only 45 minutes to get to the resort where we feasted on a Asian Buffet dinner at the Shangri La's Rasa Ria Cafe right on the beachfront. The sambal kangkong was cooked fresh for us, while we tucked into cornflake prawns, chicken satays, fried rice with pinches of sambal belachan when desired and washed it all down with calamansi juice. I love Malaysian cuisine.
Right next to the restaurant sat a Live Band neighbouring a well-stocked bar facing the ocean, with rattan umbrellas and bar stools. While music seranaded the sky, we sat there drinking our whisky sodas listening to the crash of the waves in the distance. A handsome half moon was out so the stars made their guest appearance too.
With tummies full and happily intoxicated, we adjourned back to our rooms to discover the beauty of our new Ocean Wing suites. Fitted with everything one might need in their personal haven, we sipped vodka shots on our balcony overlooking the glorious pool and glazed out to the sea.
The next afternoon, after a hearty brunch, we lazed by the kidney shaped pool and had foot massages. Swam in the sun and dropped into the spa for a traditional massage before setting our eyes on one of the most beautiful sunsets ever. As we walked along the beach, discovering nature and marveling over the corpse of a jellyfish, deep oranges, baby blues and all of dusk's shades filled the heavens. By the time we walked back to our room and filled the bath tub on the verandah, the Moon showered the waters with light and we looked into the dark mysterious distance as our muscles relaxed into the warm bubbles.
And once we were ready, room service staff prepared a candle lit dinner for us on the mezzanine and we savoured our local delights with glee.
Then Adrian, our guide, brought us down to the Tambalang river where the Bajao people live, to climb onboard a sampan which took us along the river bed in search of fire flies.
As I looked ahead and saw the tree glow with little freckles of light, I found it hard to contain my excitement and awe. Anil, the boat man cupped a few of them (skillfully and delicately) to show us what they looked like normally and I was surprise to find it reminded me of the tip of a thin red and black matchstick. We were extremely lucky, our guides said, as they had never seen so many fireflies on one night ever. And we felt exhilarated, digesting how fortunate we were to experience Mother Nature's wonder in it's full glory.
After about an hour on the water, we headed back to have fresh coconut juice and local treats in a typical Bajao home. I even tried my hand at making a delicious Bajao fritter on the stove and got to see how the locals live in their kampongs.
We sat together on the floor to chat and eat and exchange cultures and jokes. And when he heard thunder in the background, we knew it was time to head back to call it a night. The drive back featured padi fields and vast farmland and we talked about adventures of Mount Kinabalu.

The following morning started early with Kathy the Orang Utan. We had a private meeting and I got to cradle Kathy, gander at her hands, study her expressions and share some energy with the young ape. It was magical. Then we watched as she fed while swinging and trimming through the trees, scrutinising the branches and plucking fruit. As we blew her kisses and trekked out of the forest, we headed to the beach where Kimmy and Adrian were waiting for us with 4 ATVs.
After we put on our helmets and went through necessary safety briefings, we revved our engines and sped toward the swamps to ride through jungle. Since it had rained overnight, the ride was very muddy and we got stuck a few times and had to be pulled out of the rut but we braved on and were rewarded with Sabah coffee and banana fritters at the village cafe on the other side. As we washed our faces and braced ourselves for another motor trail, we looked down the river just to admire the view and the mountains by the horizon. East Malaysia is stunning.
We rode our ATVs to the beach where we fishtailed in the sand and raced along the water's edge.
Our need for speed blew wind threw our hair and kissed our faces with warm exhilaration.
And then, we threw off our helmets, peeled off our layers and dived into the cool comfort of the pool. We swam away the mud, the heat, the aches and the stings of the afternoon and quenched our thrist with fresh calamsi juice and ice lemon tea with plum seeds.
We floated in silence, thinking about the events of the day with deep fulfillment and gratitude.

Next, we went for a drive around the base of Mount Kinabalu. Just for the incredibe views and to look at local villages and east malaysian houses. The villages are so multi racial there that pagans and Christians live right next to each other and Muslim homes can be seen right next to Catholic churches. All flowing alongside harmoniously. Families set up stalls right by the roadsides selling anything from durians to rambutans and whatever fruits their gardens reep. There are even hot springs in the area but we decided to leave that indulgence for another trip.
I tried a local dish called Hinava which is Sabah's version of markerel carpaccio. It is civeched in lemon juice, ginger, chili, shallots and lemongrass and it is extremely tasty.

And finally, true to Singaporean style, on the way to the airport, we stopped by the Town's Pasar Malam food market and gorged on ikan bakar and udang bakar, accompanied by bbq chicken heart, liver and wings. If we had stayed to discover the rest of the market, it would have set us back another day so we tore ourselves away and dutifully went to the airport.
Our flight was delayed an hour so we sat at the coffeeshop, glad to have more time to enjoy KK just by drinking Sabah Milk tea.
As we pulled off the runway, I inhaled deeply and thanked my lucky stars along with the angels and goddesses and higher beings, and bid farewell to KK as the lights of an incredible place faded into the nightsky.

Mean Girls.

2008-11-03T15:48:00.000+08:00

As she sat there listening, in shock, to what this girl was saying to her, various thoughts crossed her mind.
"Is this for real?"
"Are you just going to sit here and let this girl talk to you like this?"
"Some people have such nerve! Or are just plain suicidal!"
Rachel kept her composure and let Shiat ramble on about how unhappy she observed Rachel to be lately. Knowing full well that the only thing she had been displeased about was the fact that Shiat had been nick picking on her the last few encounters due to her own insecurities.
"It's just that I am highly intuitive and I notice you have not been happy." Shiat claims.
Rachel bites down on her lip but resists the urge to reveal that the only thing Rachel has been holding back is retaliating to Shiat's lame attempts to provoke her.
"Thank you for your concern, but I am doing rather well actually and as much as I appreciate you offering up your therapists number, I don't think I need someone else to advise me on how to live and enjoy my life." Rachel graciously comments.
Shiat proceeds to lay it on Rachel, stating how unsuccessful she has been with finding the right man, how worn out she has been looking, and how quiet her career has gone.
Rachel takes a deep breath in, as she does when she meditates and on her exhale, releases all the negativity this conversation has brought upon her. She finds some polite reason to excuse herself and then takes a moment to center herself and her thoughts.
Rather stunned by the audacity, Rachel gathers herself and heads off for yoga practice. After her usual daily asana, she meditates and chants a little, assuring herself that compassion and understanding overcomes all issues, even stubborn little ones in denial. Karma is powerful and rears it's head naturally in time, it is not for her to teach others' lessons they themselves cannot learn.
Rachel knows that if she reacts badly to these lame attempts of jealously and maliciousness, it puts her down there on that childish, immature, insecure level and she has worked too hard on her spirituality and self respect to allow it to come crashing down alongside Shiat's bad intentions.
Rachel decides she will wait, and observe and trust that the truth will eventually reveal itself.

Wiggy

2008-10-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking of you a lot lately.
Thinking of our amazing times. The life we lived. The adventures we experienced together.
We went through so much, hand in hand, overseas and flying high.
We had so much in common and we were so much in love.
We built little homes in so many cities and went through life comforted only by our love.
Through it all, our fire was intense. Our bodies never stopped craving each others'.
From the very start, life threw us curve balls and challenged our hearts but we always wiped the tears off each other's face, tip our chins up and sealed the deal with soul sharing hugs.
Flashbacks of cycling by the 'Bos', or sunsets by the Van Gogh pinch me. Evenings by Parco Siempione, climbing the Great Wall. That New Year's we spent fishing. Singing out of our Milan apartment, parenting our plant, Dube'ee, taking long drives around WA.
I've been thinking about the person you are. And how much I admire you.
You may have been stubborn at times, but I definitely was too AND you always took it like a man and dealt well with everything.
I am glad I went through so much of my life traveling, living, loving with you. And I can look back at all our memories with a smile on my face. It has been the most magical, beautiful years of my life. And it is our memories that give me hope for a lovely future, someday ahead.
Thank you.
I salute you. I adore you and I think you are truly one of a kind.
Always.
C

Emotional Vomit.

2008-10-26T01:14:00.000+08:00

I just can't put my finger on it.
I am back to this same dead end. And I feel like shit.
Take another little piece of my heart. Really.
I'm that miserable, self-doubting lonesome self again. The one who counts minutes and jumps at the sound of an incoming text message. The one that starts questioning personal values and turns on innocent little habits. There is just so much fear.
And all I can think of is fight the fear, do what's right. And yet sometimes even that turns out to be too much. I have spun myself into this dark cocoon and I am so afraid as the light diminishes.
I am constantly questioning myself. Frightened that I am turning into someone I don't want to be. I have doubted my self worth so much that I am even unaware of bad things being done to me. I justify bad behavior unnecessarily for others.
And yet there are times when I tell myself I should have just shut up. There have been tons of times when my careless comments have hit one or two below the belt. But I've always been a very frank person and I believe straight-forwardness is unrated.
I am drawn to people who are quick-witted and bluntly humorous. Which also means they are mildly neurotic and incredibly free-spirited. They gypsy through life as I do and understand the concept that lifestyle is a state of mind.
Mind you, I have also been very attracted to the clean cut, nerdy, workaholic Daddy's Golden Child few, who I must admit was one of the 'types' that broke my heart a bit.
So I associate the "Business Men" to be Club Swinging, Russian kissing, White Shirt uniform party goers who only use their women for physical reasons and thrive on their own testosterone and Daddy's approval.

So there....I have vented. And yes I feel better. And maybe now I can go to sleep and dream of the tattoo exhibition I attended today.
Well...wait on that, I will blog that experience with pictures...real soon.

Namaste.

Lost

2008-10-15T01:51:00.003+08:00

You come to realize eventually that things just have to run their course.
And you start to learn fast that you have to let it go and flow with it.
I always find I compromise my pride and question my dignity which frustrates me and makes me feel like I am still running this hamster wheel in a rat race.
I find that patterns are hard to break. And I am put right back in a situation I was trying so hard to get out of. I feel I have not learn the lesson in some aspect I fail to see, or refuse to. I am trying my best to stay aware, do good, keep positive and run my course. But I am still in this strange maze which always leads me right back to 'being lost'.
I know I am unbalanced. And my priorities need to be re-evaluated. But I also know that living the life I have lived so far, it is difficult to understand, or even start to think about, the psychological frenzy that goes on in my head. To begin with, I have never really felt AT HOME anywhere. I have lived and seen SO many cities. Loved, lived and lusted in each of them but I have never really had anywhere I could really go home to. I have boxes of clothes, kitchenware, art, furniture in Australia, Bali, Hong Kong, Singapore but mostly memories and decorations that remind me of a certain time frame of my past. I have yet to own a place I can fill with 'trophies' of my excursions around the world and large hanging candles I plan to buy from Fremantle markets... And the reason I have not rooted myself is simply because I am still undecided.
So it is obvious to see you are whatever you focus on. I feel lost often, in my life, wondering if I'm going the right way. Worried if I've upset or hurt anyone along the way. But I am mainly lost because I am undecided. And once I put my foot down and claim what I deserve, all will fall into place. And I can plant my feet. And reach for the heavens.
Namaste.

Can I get a witness?

2008-10-13T00:21:00.000+08:00

THIS IS WHY!!!

Countdown to Bloomday

2008-10-07T22:33:00.000+08:00

It's an hour and a half away from my birthday and I am sitting in my room at the Langham Hotel reminiscing about this exact moment in time last year when I was in Bali.
I was in Parta's house, watching a movie..gosh I wish I could remember which one now but at this moment, I am watching "Lipstick Jungle" for the record. Parta was outside in his kitchen on his laptop and smoking shishah and we had no plans to leave the house. My party was planned for the 10th so I thought I'd rest up til then. A few people mentioned that I shouldn't wait and suggested I start partying at the stroke of midnight but I was feeling rather depressed from some unexpected news I had received days before and just wanted to be alone.
Well now I am alone, an hour away from the bewitching hour and stunned to be in this predicament. The same disappointed and lonely feeling. At least last year, in Parta's home, the sweet darling pulled the power at midnight. I came storming out of the living area, part pissed for being interrupted from the movie (damn which movie was it?), and part scared since it was pitch dark to see what had happened. And there he was, with a bday cake and some candles :) and the glow off his cheeky face was priceless. He sang a little birthday song for me and I was actually moved to tears. I did a little child-like wiggle and dance and grinned like a school girl while I blew the candles out. After a few pictures and thank you hugs, in my blue urban outfitters overalls, I went back on the couch and finished my movie. Feeling absolutely joyous and blessed to have God-sent Parta and suddenly totally aware of how absolutely lucky I was to be in Bali at that very second. To be laying in the Island of the Gods.
Today, I am in Hong Kong. My mind is on a different dimension and I am so confused, I feel like my brain is going to explode. I am running all these memories through my head and feel like a ton of bricks. I know I need to vent but I also need to let most of it go as none of it is within my control and I must let the Universe take it's course. I guess because it's going to be my birthday, it signifies another whole year gone by and time feels like it's running out. I guess my lesson this year is patience and BOY it's driving a hard lesson!
The last month has given me some insight on my past. Lessons I am reminded of and rules I have so carelessly broke. Toxic patterns that has brought me around uptown, downtown and to motown and then the same dead end. And I guess what makes it worst is most of the time, I knew. I was aware. It was almost premeditated. So here I am, contemplating over all ways I have sabotaged myself in this last year.
SO I thought "What better time than to document this head fuck?" Why not blog it and let someone else read how you sadly anticipated your birthday. After this whole hour, I would have gotten enough off my chest to welcome in the next 'digit label' year of the rest of my life.
But I shall not. Instead I will think of how lovely my tomorrow will be.
Tomorrow I am doing Anusara yoga to start off my day with one of the best teachers from Pure Yoga, Patrick Creeman. I have to swing by the agency after for a casting and then I feel like booking a massage, if not swing by an art exhibition in the convention centre.
Then Ren, Erika and I are having dinner at Azure in LKF hotel before my party at Dragon I, thrown and hosted by my sweet Tai Lo, GY!! I chose the theme "Pink Mao Mao returns to DI" so all the old school crew will be there to party it up like the good old times.
I will be radiant and well rested and celebrating life the best way I know how to.
All my dreams have yet to come true.
Happy Birthday to Me.
:)

Typhoon once again!

2008-09-23T20:40:00.000+08:00

Yet another typhoon in Hong Kong. Yet another chance to snuggle indoors, stock up on the junk food and catch up on movies.
Unfortunately, all my typhoons in Hong Kong (and Taiwan-come to think of it), I have spent all alone.
In my dreams, I picture wild winds, heavy rains and flying billboards outside but me all tucked up in front of the TV, warm and dry, blissed out and content indoors. Curled up next to my partner, whispering sweet nothings and stealing lusty kisses while thanking our lucky stars we are not fighting the torrential rains outside.
The hard truth is, that has yet to happen. The truth is, fate has it that I have to deal with typhoons alone. Fate says "no romantic typhoons" for you Charm.
Even with your positivity and optimism, this is the one indulgence I cannot have just yet.
The universe kindly tells me that I am already lucky to be stranded in a hotel where the gym is one floor above me and room service is at my beck and call but my heart cannot luxuriate and my body cannot coddle in the warmth of another.
I use the saying "God is fair" often. I even believe it wholly. But God sometimes has a sick sense of humor. And although I trust that He has big plans for me, I often feel frustrated when my wishes are not granted.
As I write this, the winds outside increase suddenly and wind pounds angrily on my windows, as if a sign to say "why are you speaking this way?" ..."why can you not see the gifts I have already provided?".
I suddenly feel guilt. I feel like I ask for too much.
But all I ask for is Love. And companionship. And someone who will tell me that it's OK to want to share joy with another.
I do not think I am deprived because I have not given enough or not loved enough. Often, I am clueless as to why I am still in this lonely situation. Why I cannot divvy all I have in my heart with someone else, even though i am willing. Why am I always missing, wishing, craving, yearning?
Rain always makes me think. Always make me lonely. Reminds me of those days in Bali. Reminds me of Mary J. Blige's song "Rainy Dayz". Pains me.
Makes me want to run the streets, soaked and crying. Makes me question and doubt.
One the other hand, it makes me soft and thoughtful. Makes me go all romantic.
Makes me think of sweet kisses in the rain and romantic exclamations.
I am drunk. I have had one too many vodka sodas which i started as the typhoon signal was hoisted hours ago. As a rebellious act, to drown my sorrows.
What else are we suppose to do in a typhoon, alone? How else is there to feel better about being stuck indoors by yourself?
I am going to pour myself another one....right now.

Partying these days!

2008-09-13T15:21:00.000+08:00

You know I have been in and out of the Hong Kong party scene for awhile now and I have seen many "party animals" come and go.
A lot of the posse have worn themselves out or started families and have fallen off the party wagon, some have chosen a healthier path and others have just left the country to go back to their hometown or pursue goals that Hong Kong cannot provide them.
One thing for sure though, times have changed.
When you fill clubs with so many young, immature, insecure people and feed them booze and drugs on a regular basis, you encourage bad behavior.
There is so much gossip and drama spreading around these days that it defeats the whole 'party' purpose.
Instead of the 'good old days' when everyone was out to have a good time. To dance, to spread some love and to add positive energy to the already pumping vibe.
Today, what one wears and which 'rich guys' table you sit at is far more important and noticed then how great fun you are or how lovely your carefree spirit is.
The nightlife in Hong Kong these days has turned into one giant "Night Club".
Russian girls gyrating around one table, Brazilians frolicking around another and sleazy, sweaty men cruising around, convinced their magnum bottles, boozy breath and lame pick up lines will land them a lay.
Going out is no longer about celebrating the weekend, or letting loose. It has become one big fake fashion parade garnished with vicious talk and petty judgment.
Gone are the days when you come home after a night out and feel pleased about meeting someone new and exciting or relieved you danced your worries away.
These days, you wake up the morning after worrying if you said something that someone could hold against you even if you said it while being highly intoxicated.
Before, there was an unspoken acceptance that whatever was done or said was all out of good fun and never repeated. Before, if anybody did have something bad to say about the party the night before, it was usually how early it ended and didn't give everyone enough time to celebrate together.
It makes me wonder how it got to this point. How it all changed so drastically.
Did we drop our standards and welcome in one too many party poopers? Or did we hand over our 'joyous' thrones to shallow nit pickers with big egos and superficial pockets?
Are we going to claim back our 'party purpose' and pass on the real tips of 'good times' or are we going to burn and bury it with our youth?
For those of us with already lovely party memories, it would be easy to say "Good Riddens" but for those of us who see our friends still on the circuit, walking toward that big black hole... for old school sake, shouldn't we say "Open your Eyes dude....watch where you're heading!"

Look Ahead!

2008-09-05T21:08:00.001+08:00

Yes yes I know I went M.I.A.
Have not written or updated my blog in awhile now.
It was not due to lack of inspiration, fact is, it was quite the contrary.
I have been doing, practicing, praying, experiencing, living, loving, laughing, crying, partying, sleeping, working, sharing, smiling, traveling, focusing, adjusting, accepting, dealing, doubting, confronting and looking within.
I watched Cirque Du Soleil's Zaia last night at the Venetian in Macau and was awed by the performers and their discipline. Such control, strength and elegance. It reflected to me how the human body and spirit is so capable of accomplishing such magical feats with focus and dedication. Similar to how I felt after watching most of the Olympic games.
With such inspiration, I went into my asana practice today determined to push my body to greater limits and fully enjoy the work out.
I can feel a transformation coming around yet again.
I can feel a powerful force entering my life, challenging me to transcend toward a higher plain.
I can feel the universe presenting me with greater choices, elevated senses and blessed beings.
I only have to remain focused and embrace these gifts and remember to use them for the greater good of mankind.
I am also reminded how important proper rest and nourishment is for my temple and how my mind and spirit will only continue to expand if I invest correctly in all that is good for me.
SO now, at this very moment, I am going to be still and look inward.
Take a deep breath and go inside....
Ponder on my purpose and welcome my lessons.
For I truly believe that cheerfulness and optimism will always lead me down the right path.

Always look ahead... your whole self will follow naturally.

Pandemonium

2008-08-15T23:58:00.000+08:00

I think I've spun out of control.
My thoughts are all over the place. I have not prayed or meditated in ages. My asana today was weak and unfocused.
Aphrodite pandemonium is on the loose.
I have forgotten the truth in peace, the purity of moderation and the will to resist temptation.
It seems like I am having too much fun and thinking way too little.
I am not unhappy. Just unfocused.
And I know if I carry on, this carelessly, I will pay terribly for it.
It is not too late. I can right my wrongs, pull my thoughts and speech together and rise above it.
Coming out stronger and learning more of the lessons needed in this lifetime.
As much as I know I need to experience life and walk strange paths, I cannot lose sight of compassion and austerity.
I cannot forget to be truthful, less judgemental, more patient and steady in my progression.
I need to use my heart more and my mind, undoubtedly will follow.
I need to be strong and I need to share strength. I need to inspire in order to be inspired.
If I cannot handle all that's on my plate, I need to sort that out immediately. I need to prioritize and I need to focus.
I need to stay true to what I believe.
Love all, trust a few and do wrong to none.

wow.

2008-08-05T17:32:00.000+08:00

Wow...

It's funny the things you manifest.
Thoughts are just so powerful. When you open your eyes and your mind, the possibilities are endless. Cups start to overflow... little signs start showing even in the smallest of actions.

You have given me time to reflect. And I am not sure if it's simply because I see so much of myself in you.
You seem to notice even the smallest glint in my eyes and I see each curve of your smile.
We share mutual comfort yet we burn for each other. I respect your responsibilities and you somehow align mine.
I beat myself up sometimes, for falling into temptation so quickly. But you taught me that nothing needs to be perfect. That blessed lessons come from powerful mistakes.
And since we've met, I've felt a renewed sense of creative bliss.
The 'want' to put things together, beautifully.
That life CAN be just about now. That we are all put in each other's path for a reason.
You've inspired me to write again, and that is the ultimate gift.
It makes me feel like I am being true to myself and you make me feel like that's a lovely thing.
All in such a short span of time.
So I say Namaste Sweet One.
You are enlightening me.

Summertime Parties

2008-08-01T19:40:00.001+08:00

I love summer in Hong Kong. Everyone's energy picks up, there are a few more smiles on the streets. Less judgmental stares if you wear shorts and just the occasional umbrella to poke you in the eye.
Weekends are filled with boat parties. Last week, a huge beach party was thrown. Beautiful cruises and yachts all docked around the bay and music filled the sunny skies. There were dinghys, jet skis, banana boats and floats for everyone to jump on. On each yacht, different concoctions of activities were unfolding. Card games started, people caught up in small intimate groups, beautiful models wearing close to nothing sprawled all over the boat, tanning. 5 cruisers anchored together, creating a centerpiece for the celebration and Dj's and their decks came out. Everyone had a drink in their hand, even the ones swimming in the water. Honorably holding out their glasses while trying to swim or climb onto a dinghy. Regardless of the insignificant sense of balance, everyone had a smile on their lips.
For sunset, a marquee was set up on the bay and the decks moved there... along with the sun seekers...or by now, I should say... drunken sunset chasers. Bodies pulsating all over the beach, grooving to the sexy music and enjoying the change of scene. The mood changes... everyone mellows out and suddenly there is a peacefulness that blankets everyone. It is sunset. My favorite time of day. Dusk. When day turns to night. The colors of the sky seem more beautiful than any other time of day and everything is so prettily lit...naturally. Nobody wants this day to end but we're already been blessed with much so we skull our drinks and jump back on the yachts we came in.
And as everyone peels off in their yachts, to head back to land to party some where else, or have dinner... silence once again creeps over this lovely island awaiting another summer inspired occasion.

Boundaries

2008-07-29T12:28:00.000+08:00

This is the "message" I got.
Two are at one only when they remain two.
Boundaries are the invisible borders that surround each one of us like a second skin. They make the container that we fill with who we are- our sense of self.
It's a common fallacy to believe that love means dropping our boundaries in order to be closer to our partner, and it's true that it feels like intimacy. But this is not the intimacy of an adult: it's the rekindling of the childhood need for love and safety, when pleasing someone else was the only way to feel closed and loved. Perhaps this false intimacy has led to you becoming a "people-pleaser"-orbiting around the needs of your partner and allowing their emotions to invade you. Perhaps you're scared of stating your own needs for fear of causing conflict.
Boundaries are like our immune system. They support what is healthy and life-enhancing and resist what is not. So people with a good sense of boundaries recognize when they have had enough. They know their own limits and are able to shut the door and say "No".
Do you know what you want? Are you able to use your power of expression to draw the line? Can you truly distinguish what strengthens you from what weakens you? You are certainly being asked to question yourself now. Holding strong, healthy boundaries enables us to say "Yes" & "No" at the right times; to let in people who can care for and support us, and to keep out people who may hurt us. (This sentence spoke the most to me. :)
We need boundaries to retain our sense of ourselves as separate, autonomous beings when relating to others. Without them, we find it hard to know who's doing what to whom. And in the confusion, we can find ourselves taken taken over and lose a sense of our own direction. You may need to take some time out from your partner to do your own thing, or even discover what your thing is! It may feel threatening at first- you may fear others leaving if you don't give them what they want. But if the relationship is to be real and enduring, it requires you to take time to increase your confidence. (I so agree with this sentence too!)
A dynamic partnership is made up of two complete individuals who respect each other's boundaries. Building healthy boundaries is not something you can do overnight. Changing a deep-seated pattern is confronting and takes time, awareness and strength. But if you're prepared to start now and to persevere, you will learn to stop giving yourself away and begin to forge a life that serves your very highest good.
The Mirror Cards.

Paris ...ah, paris.

2008-07-02T23:47:00.000+08:00

After our conversation today,
I got to reminiscing about Paris. Sigh. Paris. You know it always feels better when you do that. Take that pause after you say Paris....sigh, and ring those vibrations through your tongue once more.
Paris is my favorite cliche. The city of romances, not necessarily always with another person but definitely involving matters of the heart. I fell in love with the city, the idea behind the city, the architecture, the sexy silhouette of those romantic bridges at night, walking pass the most amazing buildings ever made. The cafes in the evenings and the intense energy. One of my favorite memories must have been witnessing a couple miss the "universally known" green man crossing simply because they were kissing. Walking into restaurants is exactly how you would see it in the movies. Couples holding hands across the table or french men cupping their lady's faces in their hands, staring into each other's eyes. To me, it's as if the Eiffel Tower radiates out some kind of love energy and the whole city is bewitched.
I was only 19 when I lived in Paris. My first day there, after a ridiculously long flight from Singapore, I was picked up and taken straight to my agency Ford. It was 8am Paris time and I was exhausted, looking like a wet rat. Which believe me, became a regular 'look' in my stay there due to Paris's crazy weather. YSL saw me after a frightful rainstorm and I wet most of the foyer. Probably explained why I didn't get the job.
Anyway... the moment I got into the Ford office, my booker told me to leave my luggage at the agency, go downstairs to the bookstore and buy a city guide map book, handed me 2 A4 prints with 'instructions" and literally showed me the door. A bit thrown off, but partially excited, I made my way to the bookstore. Along the way, one of my first sights of Paris, was a half-naked man covered in lesions, throwing up along the side of the road.
Rather shaken and filled with fright, I find the bookstore, grab my map and head back out.
Ok let me just tell you that Parisians can be rather ...well.... curt. If you speak to them in English, they'd probably ignore you or give you the wrong directions, seriously. French is a BEAUTIFUL language but I believe, you should speak it well or not speak it at all.
Ok ok long story short, I basically went on the rest of my day... lost in the city. I had 12 castings to go to. But i think I only managed 5. And even those, I had to cheat and take a taxi to because I just couldn't bare to go down through the Metro and not see any of the city. There was so much adrenalin pumping through me and this was just the first day.
After getting back to the agency about 8pm, I picked up my luggage and got sent home to the model's apartments. It was a little building of about 5 floors on Rue Parmentier and with little self contained dorm-like rooms, about 6 on each floor. 2 girls to a room, which had a little kitchen and bathroom and 2 twin beds. The corridors became our living room and we hardly ever closed our room doors since all the girls , fortunately, got along. We got along so well, we were known as our director's favorites. Now I'm kind of getting a little ahead of myself here and as far as stories about Paris goes...I have too many to break down now. But at that point, I was new, settling into a place completely unknown to me. Nothing was in English, so for the first few nights, I would read the only thing that was in a language I understand, and the hard copy I had. The bible. Honest.
It was initially more a form of meditation, my reading. My need to associated myself with something familiar to me, the written word. So before I started exploring the city, my nights would be with the bible, going through historic verses and pondering on life.
Well, over time I learned the ropes. One of them was if a few girls had the same castings, they would book a car and split it 4 or 5 ways.. so we would make all our castings and not burn a hole in our pockets. Of course, there's the good old reliable way which models all around the world still use. The Metro, a.k.a The Subway. Every model can tell you a story about the Paris Metro. Shit just goes down. I know a model who got slapped in the train just for looking at some looney French guy. I almost got mugged by this guy who asked me for a cigarette and after I gave him mine, he grabbed me and pulled me down the stairs. Luckily, Alex Wek, who was my 'neighbor' and who I planned to meet there saw him and came running toward us yelling, scaring the guy off.
So anyway, living in Paris is financially challenging to any struggling model. My daily breakfast would be banana and yogurt, lunch was a chocolate croissant and dinner was pretty much bananas and yogurt too unless one of the girls decided to cook pasta and invite everyone for some. Most nights we had red wine since it was so cheap and the only way to indulge ourselves if we weren't all going out for some 'company' dinner. My favorite restaurant in Paris was Leon's because my memories of it was so simply. I would go in about 3 times a week for lunch, by myself, order a big pot of mussels and a glass of champagne and tuck in. No conversation, no distractions, my personal time out. Then I would stick my hands deep into my coat pockets, inhale the cold air deeply and walk the Champs-Elysées to just absorb the vibes of Paris.
The day I went to Notre Dame, it was so overwhelming, I cried. The afternoon I was standing on top of the Eiffel tower, I was speechless but grinning ear to ear. The evening I went to the Louvre, Alek and I played frisbee out front in the park. Paris became joyous. It was somewhere in between those experiences that I fell in love.
No doubt I had my dark nights, where I would be home-sick and spent nights crying at the bottom of the stairs where the public phone was. But the city whispered kindly to me and before long, I was having fun-filled dinners with friends, partying at clubs and having lots of in-house slumber parties. I was once even hit on by Marcus Schenkenberg at a party but we were both too pickled to even talk by then. Another area us girls grew to love to hang out at was Saint-Sébastien. Known as the gay district of Paris, it had the quaintest little bars and a crowd that celebrated a whole bunch of tall pretty ladies as oppose to jumping them. Us, models would sit in a tiny bar all night, drinking cocktail after cocktails, spilling our guts about every subject imaginable like sex (the universal language, next to music), gut wrenching experiences, and hilarious work stories.
The days I had free, I would sit under a tree and watch the world walk by.
There are so many memories I have of Paris. They are all so vivid to me... each story more detailed than the next. I look forward to sharing them all one day with you. But for now, all I can imagine is the next time I am there. To be able to soak Paris in all over again, once more.
Paris,..... ah, Paris.

Friends

2008-06-21T04:32:00.000+08:00

It's not who you are....but who you know.
Take heed.
Be grateful for your friends. be grateful for the parents that brought you up.
You would not be where you are if it wasn't for the people that influenced you.
Your thinking, much to your dismay, relies a lot on the company you have kept. All these years, from adolescent til your present day.
It is nothing to be ashamed about. It is actually something you should claim....proudly.
It is not easy to surround yourself with only the best.
But if you succeed, nothing in your life should be taken for granted.
Alone, you are nothing. Together you are everything.
Friends are precious. They mould you, help you, support you, teach you.
So appreciate them...for they will not always be around.
But while they are... be grateful and love them.
For love is nothing without people to love.
Namaste.

The World Today.

2008-06-17T00:38:00.000+08:00

There is horror happening around the world today.
Earthquakes in Japan and China, ending so many lives and still suffering more each day from the many aftershocks.
The prison break in Afghanistan where over 300 Taleban members escaped.
Riots in Tibet and around the world due to the torch running for the upcoming Olympics.
Things don't seem to look so good. And it doesn't seem to be getting better.
There is still so much poverty. So much diversity and judgment but not enough love or action.

We are all too caught up in our own worlds. Our careers, our inspirations, all the things we need to do for ourselves. Even when we think we want to inspire people, we want to inspire them to hold us higher, think better of us as a 'contributor' and follow us and our beliefs.
But what is the true lesson behind it?
Are we in a position of influence? And if so, how do we use that position to help humanity? Or are we just concerned with bettering our position, just for ourselves?

And then we say we want love. A higher love. A love like no other. And yet, we cannot give unconditional love. Cannot help the needy or heal the sick. How can we give what we do not know, or have to begin with?

We make too many assumptions. Jump the gun as they say. Always on the defense, protecting our 'precious' little hearts from the wars of the world. But how can we nurture something, lead it to grow, when our roots are plunged somewhere else, in deceit and war?

Consider this dear friend, and ponder on it well.. when you get indecisive- be thankful you have the choices, when you feel backed into a corner- be thankful you are not alone in that room. When you can't choose what to pick off that menu to fill your belly, be thankful those words fill that page. When you start to judge someone...think of your 'position'.

Compassion is the greatest gift. Love is the greatest emotion. Immerse yourself in both.

I wonder

2008-06-13T01:06:00.000+08:00

Ever been in a situation where something consumes your mind.
One single being...in this giant universe has control over ever inch of your working brain.
No matter how you try to distract or redirect your thoughts, it comes back full circle.
It's as if the only thing you want to do is act on those impulses and demand some sort of immediate response. An answer to all those lurking questions.
Or sometimes simply to quit the superficiality. To get down to the core, then the basics.
If the energies are so in sync, then what is there to lose?
If it was meant to be, then how can it possibly fail?
Is it pride? Is it the lack of trust or the inability to be totally vulnerable? The fear of losing.
Why are we always allowing fear to stunt us? Keep us rooted in our insecurities?
Is it really that difficult to give in, give up and surrender?
Put it all out there? Give unconditionally?
Is it that weak to admit that ultimately, none of us can do it on our own?

Save it for Today.

2008-06-06T18:47:00.000+08:00

It's a rainy day in Hong Kong. It has been pouring here since noon today.
My Stuart Weitzman pumps got absolutely drenched and I considered swinging by Marc Jacobs to get a pair of their gorgeous rain boots after lunch with Amanda, Sean and MeeYian. Buffet lunch at Lotus on Pottinger Street was cozily quiet and the three of us bantered away eagerly, determined to shove as much information into the conversation since we all hadn't really caught up in ages. Over desert, while stuffing our faces with Bubur Hitum, a.k.a Black rice pudding, we filled each other in on our personal lives, all the complications, the insecurities, the screw ups.. and felt so much better after (or was it the sweets? ) as we kissed each other goodbye in the rain. Careful not to poke each other with our fancy umbrellas.
I tell you walking the streets in Hong Kong is challenging enough, but when it rains...
People here walk in the shade with their umbrella open. Completely unaware of other pairs of eyes, running head on into an oncoming pedestrian and running through puddles splashing everyone within range. I scuffled as stealthy as a wet cat could through IFC to pick up my Pure membership gym card and then took the Star Ferry back to Tsim Sha Tsui.
To my surprise.. a boat ride on the Star Ferry during rainy weather is one of the most peaceful moments in Hong Kong.
Nobody on the boat is talking, except for the mainlander saying something to his wife, everyone else is either looking at the view or reading a newspaper or book. Both ways you look.. Hong Kong or Kowloon, both are pretty in their own way and there is a comforting deep humming from the engine of the boat. The weather outside rocks the waters a little but compared to typhoon time, it's a relatively smooth sail. Times like these, you remember the reason why you love this city. From the terminal to the hotel I stay at, is a quick walk and soon I am dry, relieved and relaxed.
Which brings me back to rainy days.
My rainy evening will be spent in the comfort of my home. Soon I will turn on a movie and unwind. Dinner will be ordered in.... and I will look back on my apparently gloomy day and think..
I've had a lovely rainy day.

On tour with Migs in Asia

2008-06-03T22:19:00.000+08:00

My last 24hrs in Tokyo

2008-06-03T20:37:00.000+08:00

Dearest Puta,
Ohmygod babe, we went to Hanjiro...totally. and there was SO much to look at...i kinda went blind, felt faint and had to sit down. hahahah kidding.
then we took a nice tokyo street walk to the park..grabbed some ice cream and walked thru the forest. BRiLLIANT!
Approaching the shrine felt kind of surreal. We all took a slow peaceful walk. i so needed that. and i love that it's smack in the city centre.
praying was divine. left a note for the Gods on the wooden tree. :)
went to tokyu foodmart. went nuts with the fish, picked up snacks, lisa got HERBS, smoked salts...etc.
then she went to sleep. Migs and I went to Stormy and a few other skateboard shops...he was looking for his kicks. :P
didn't get them. but found a rocking' bag and a cap for himself then we thought we'd grab a 'small' bite but jumping into those noodles stores...you know the ones which you pay for in a vending machine outside. *holy smokes*... the portions was humongous and we over ordered the condiments (as always) so we left feeling like bloated little pigs.
then we walked the streets, saw the short, lanky, weird and funny of harajuku...god bless japan.
discovered a few neat little stores but decided to drink milk. ???
hahahah from this little stall... cold yummy jap milk, smooth. ha.
Ok ok so we got back to the hotel. I took a LOVELY shower. layed on the bed.... and sayonara cabonara. over and out.
wake up to phone ringing for migs and his interview in 5 mins ...it was morning. totally missed your call and our plans for dinner. Got a call from reception telling us politely it was time to check out.
packed like a mother fucker with dripping wet hair and knickers in a twist... still strutted tall and composed into the lobby. :) Rockstar style.
grabbed the quickest udon one-stop lunch and whizzed off to the airport.
and BOY tokyo was sad we were leaving cuz the raining was pouring and only then i actually got a quick moment to breathe.
Of course when we got to the airport...the mayhem started again.
Firstly...i think i jinxed it. i said...ok guys, i'm gonna call JAson once we clear immigrATION and we all gotta thank him yah. and they were like YEAH totally dude.. hahah whatever. ha. We headed to check in, Lisa was overweight so we had to repack there..which was kinda 'shite' but still manageable. then we had half and hour til take off. we go thru security and the woman won't let me bring all my creams, lips balms, small bottle of perfume, all less than 100ml simply because it was not a ZIPLOCK BAG. Although it was a small makeup clear bag, she refused so i had to run back out to buy some Ziplock bag, come thru security AGAIn and put the stuff all away. PHEW>
then we go thru immigration and we can hear them calling OUR NAMES on the speaker. no shit.
SO Lisa starts to run... Migs and I are kinda speed walking. :)
aND WE get there...with about a minute to burn.

The rest goes on for a while and is really interesting. :) but yeah as far as my last 24 hours in tokyo was ... it was definitely a ride.
ANd so thank you for being a doll. i SO enjoyed time with you and realized once again how much i miss you.
pls write me soon
I love you too much.
x C

One day...

2008-05-17T17:36:00.000+08:00

My mate Kristin showed me this quote and I fell in love with it. Forgot all about it and stumbled upon it today.
Have you ever wished you could tell someone those exact words?
Well I do... I want to wake up those asleep in love, shake the ones who don't take their feelings seriously and slap those who take love for granted.
Anyway, just wanted to give kudos to this quote and whoever thought of it.
Namaste.

awake to see sunrise

2008-05-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

Just got back to the hotel room after a night out in LA.
MAn it was pretty insane. Went to have some Japanese fusion food on 3rd st, and then headed to Deep in Hollywood and partied to the sounds of Frankie Knuckles.
Good old House... sexy. Circles of deep dancers all over the dance floor. The most fluid movements and coexisting with the rhythm. Grinding to the beat.
Then Chance, Lawrence and I went back to the studio to listen to some insanely funky underground record which left us grooving in that little womb til nearly 6 in the morning.
So here I am now... only allowed a few hours to sleep before check out. Oh how many times I have been in this situation. Once again...
At noon tomorrow, I start another journey. Follow my gypsy legs and see what the universe beholds.
Til then.
NAmaste.

Los Angeles

2008-05-10T23:02:00.000+08:00

So I am in LA for the Pangea Day 2008 event. The screening for those 100 films over 4 hours start in exactly 3 hours out in the Sony studios.
We arrived late on Wednesday night into LAX, customs and immgiration took over 2 hrs to clear although it only took 20 mins by car to get to the Ritz Carlton, Marina Del Ray.
Thursday started early, more from the jet lag than the desire to walk Venice beach at 9am.
Had a fabulous breakfast at the Figtree cafe then people-watched, shopped and cruised the infamous boardwalk for any exciting sites.
Got interviewed by Ashley Page's Mum (yup!) who was promoting her daughter's swimwear line with the help of TLC TV. Bought a few classic rock t-shirts, scored a beautiful Christie's fedora and bought a CD hip hop demo off a struggling artist.
Had a lovely evening by the Sheraton pool at the Pangea Day cocktail party and rubbed shoulders with some aspiring film makers.
Yesterday, I went to Urth cafe in Santa Monica with Chance and Marques. Then went shopping at Anonymous before heading back to crash out. Was so knackered from the time difference.
The weather in California at the moment is rather cold and I am regrettably unprepared as I assumed it was going to be beach weather.
Tomorrow night, we are going to Deep to watch Frankie Knuckles.
There always seems like there is never enough time to do all you want to in Hollywood.

My friends

2008-05-06T04:39:00.000+08:00

I have the bestest friends in the world.
My friends do SO much for me. They are so kind and so local to me. They are always there when I need someone and they are always there to keep that smile on my face.
My friends are the best because they watch out for me. They step in when I need some help and they step back when I need some space.
They give me so much even when I do not ask for it and they consider my feelings at all times.
I have the best friends.
I am blessed beyond words.

Pangea Day 2008

2008-05-03T17:47:00.001+08:00

2008-05-03T17:21:00.000+08:00

Realizing that you have a choice is a matter of maturity.
Using that freedom of choice is a matter of empowerment.
- The Mirror cards

2008-05-03T12:54:00.000+08:00

WATCH THIS SPACE......
Still in the midst of perfecting.....little bits here and there
But coming and blossoming shortly....
Thanks for the support.

To begin with....

2008-04-29T11:43:00.000+08:00

Ah....finally. My very own Blog.
You cannot imagine how relieved I finally am to have started this after weeks, if not years of procrastinating.
And typical to my style, I do not create this on a day I have free to pretty up and decorate the blog, instead I have a million things to do today and can only leave this short and sweet initiation.
Whatever the case, WELCOME to Charm's life.
Whatever you read, experience or see here will probably make you question your life and the way you live it....but I only hope you do so in a kind, productive and compassionate way with child-like enthusiasm.
Because let's not forget people, creative expression is meant to inspire and motivate...
And we can never use 'too-much' of the imagination because visualization and manifestation are powerful beauties of Life.
So be It!