Now I can understand how living in Bali in 2007 turned my life around.
In every aspect. Love. Career. Life lessons. Sorrow. Independence.
I still do not know now, if I made the right decision to live there so soon in my life.
Bali is Balance. And power. and Karma. Living there has it's price.
To have a lifestyle so filled with freedom, tests the soul respectively.
Bali is the core of ying and yang.
There is such a magic that marries the mystical and rawness of the island.
And Bali never fails to lure you into it's wondrous spell of bliss and abandonment.
It is a secret love affair.
It is one I care not to discuss casually and I find myself often making excuses to justify my coyness on the subject.
It is my time out and an awakening all wrapped up in padi fields, impulsive bike rides with the wind in my hair, visiting sacred lands, making magical friendships and feeling exhilaration like you've never felt before.
As I deepened myself in that cocoon.
Living the life like I dreamed, the rest of the world faded from my memory.
Nothing else mattered and all I knew was Bali.
Day after day, sunset walks ,mountain trails and the long drives through the countryside as well as, a few drunken nights I would crawled into bed trashed.
Those lovely beach walks calmed my mind everyday and I developed an inner peace which I still use in much needed situations today.
Bali makes one take the time to understand people. You do things that make you or whoever you are in Bali with, happy. You share everything. You steal nothing.
The thing is, I look at my pictures from back then... and I can see the change in my gaze, and the warming of my skin tone. It's the Bali blessing I guess.
I think it was because Bali helped me develop spiritually, I spent my 30th bday there and I still believe up to this day.. that something shifted in me that day.
It was an extremely intense and confronting time for me and Bali seemed to cushion my fall and was the rock I so needed at that point in time.
I know that I will always be bonded to Bali by some magical silver cord because when I think of Bali today,
my heart still flutters. I am still curious. I still want a little bit more.
Like a love affair, like a drug.
I crave it. And when it stings, it scars me.
But every time I leave it, it burns a wee bit more.
So Bali... I love our love affair.
Til we meet again....
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Love Thyself.
Steer clear of negativity and nourish the mind with only good wholesome thoughts and intentions.
Practice kind speech and habituate patience since compassion is the key to inner peace.
When we feel tired or unappreciated, rely on solitude and quiet time to reflect and rejuvenate.
When we feel challenged, act only with love.
When we are lonely, seek refuge in friends or family and turn to inward contemplation to deliberate the root of your detachment.
I know this all sounds a lot easier preached than performed but affirmations rarely fail and reminding yourself of all you have, reassures the mind and spirit of positive realizations.
Surrounding yourself with people who bring out the best in you is critical.
Be it your best friend, partner, family members or colleagues, do not feel guilty for overlooking acquaintances and 'energy sappers' simply because 'charity' friendships often leave you regretful and resentful.
Every person holds different energy fields and there is nothing wrong with only wanting to be around those on the same wavelength as you are. But do not misunderstand me...and start cutting off old friends or start being mean to anyone who knows less than you do.... as everyone evolves and learns in their own time and your positivity is what will inspire them.
When a loved one is disheartened, offer support and sanctuary and try to lift their spirits.
Remember a sad heart feels fear and all you need to give to help is nonjudgmental consideration and a fresh perception. So listen up and hug. And promise to be around when needed and make the effort. Being the light in someone else's darkness tenders enlightenment.
Alert yourself every morning with affirmations and meditation and train your mind to maintain child-like enthusiasm in all you do. Be kind to animals for their souls are pure and a great judge of character. React respectfully, with clarity and piety as life is a mirror and we get what we give.
Love yourself enough to see the beauty in everyday blessings.
To inspire is to nurture the heart which blossoms the soul.
Have a shining week.
Namaste
The beauty of this piece is I wrote it almost exactly a year ago. 3rd March 2008 to be exact.
But reading it again now and sharing it has lifted me. Hope you like it. x C
Practice kind speech and habituate patience since compassion is the key to inner peace.
When we feel tired or unappreciated, rely on solitude and quiet time to reflect and rejuvenate.
When we feel challenged, act only with love.
When we are lonely, seek refuge in friends or family and turn to inward contemplation to deliberate the root of your detachment.
I know this all sounds a lot easier preached than performed but affirmations rarely fail and reminding yourself of all you have, reassures the mind and spirit of positive realizations.
Surrounding yourself with people who bring out the best in you is critical.
Be it your best friend, partner, family members or colleagues, do not feel guilty for overlooking acquaintances and 'energy sappers' simply because 'charity' friendships often leave you regretful and resentful.
Every person holds different energy fields and there is nothing wrong with only wanting to be around those on the same wavelength as you are. But do not misunderstand me...and start cutting off old friends or start being mean to anyone who knows less than you do.... as everyone evolves and learns in their own time and your positivity is what will inspire them.
When a loved one is disheartened, offer support and sanctuary and try to lift their spirits.
Remember a sad heart feels fear and all you need to give to help is nonjudgmental consideration and a fresh perception. So listen up and hug. And promise to be around when needed and make the effort. Being the light in someone else's darkness tenders enlightenment.
Alert yourself every morning with affirmations and meditation and train your mind to maintain child-like enthusiasm in all you do. Be kind to animals for their souls are pure and a great judge of character. React respectfully, with clarity and piety as life is a mirror and we get what we give.
Love yourself enough to see the beauty in everyday blessings.
To inspire is to nurture the heart which blossoms the soul.
Have a shining week.
Namaste
The beauty of this piece is I wrote it almost exactly a year ago. 3rd March 2008 to be exact.
But reading it again now and sharing it has lifted me. Hope you like it. x C
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Love vs. Distance
In this day and age, with such available accessibility...
Love has yet another obstacle to tackle.
These days, you hear of 'German mixed Koreans' in relationships with 'Pakistani mixed South Americans'. Multi-racial relationships are common.
Love seems to transcend race, oceans, continents, even dimensions.
Long distant relationships are common and partners now are use to being separated for months at a time, often due to individual career paths.
I use to think it impossible to survive and cope in a long distance relationship, believing it was inconceivable to 'be with someone' and yet feel lonely most of the time.
I like to share thoughts, events of the day and cuddles in front of the TV most nights.
But lately, I see the benefits of personal time and lesser distractions, especially if the relationship inspires each other to pursue their goals.
I remember a friend asking me once, "Charm, most of the things you do in a day, do you find the need to tell someone about it? I mean do u think if only u knew, it would mean less?"
Strange question I know, but it did get me thinking...
Some couples get that way, they share every little single detail of the day, relying on the reaction of their partner to justify or rate their doings.
Almost as if they didn't know why or how or when for themselves.
Distance eliminates all those daily nitty gritty...
Be it on the phone or through emails...Lovers talk about caressing each other, looking into one another's eyes, kissing, hugging, planning when to see each other again.
I heard a saying once...
"Being in love is giving someone your heart and trusting they won't break it."
Distance gives that trust a whole new dimension.
It's almost like sharing a beautiful secret, across borders, over mountains.
Believing that even though each of you are experiencing something extremely different, be it culture or time zones, you are both still working together on a connection you two believe links your hearts.
And eventually, when both your paths cross again, there is much more appreciation of the presence of being.
Being able to feel each other's skin, touch each other again, make breath-taking love.
And the wonderful shift in knowing that trust and love was well worth it simply because wherever we were,when you weren't together and whoever we were with....
both parties just wanted to be with each other instead and patiently willed it so.
That shared vision leads down the sweet path of manifestation
and what we focus on, we will eventually become....
So maintain focus... and follow your Heart.
Love manifests in strange ways.
Love has yet another obstacle to tackle.
These days, you hear of 'German mixed Koreans' in relationships with 'Pakistani mixed South Americans'. Multi-racial relationships are common.
Love seems to transcend race, oceans, continents, even dimensions.
Long distant relationships are common and partners now are use to being separated for months at a time, often due to individual career paths.
I use to think it impossible to survive and cope in a long distance relationship, believing it was inconceivable to 'be with someone' and yet feel lonely most of the time.
I like to share thoughts, events of the day and cuddles in front of the TV most nights.
But lately, I see the benefits of personal time and lesser distractions, especially if the relationship inspires each other to pursue their goals.
I remember a friend asking me once, "Charm, most of the things you do in a day, do you find the need to tell someone about it? I mean do u think if only u knew, it would mean less?"
Strange question I know, but it did get me thinking...
Some couples get that way, they share every little single detail of the day, relying on the reaction of their partner to justify or rate their doings.
Almost as if they didn't know why or how or when for themselves.
Distance eliminates all those daily nitty gritty...
Be it on the phone or through emails...Lovers talk about caressing each other, looking into one another's eyes, kissing, hugging, planning when to see each other again.
I heard a saying once...
"Being in love is giving someone your heart and trusting they won't break it."
Distance gives that trust a whole new dimension.
It's almost like sharing a beautiful secret, across borders, over mountains.
Believing that even though each of you are experiencing something extremely different, be it culture or time zones, you are both still working together on a connection you two believe links your hearts.
And eventually, when both your paths cross again, there is much more appreciation of the presence of being.
Being able to feel each other's skin, touch each other again, make breath-taking love.
And the wonderful shift in knowing that trust and love was well worth it simply because wherever we were,when you weren't together and whoever we were with....
both parties just wanted to be with each other instead and patiently willed it so.
That shared vision leads down the sweet path of manifestation
and what we focus on, we will eventually become....
So maintain focus... and follow your Heart.
Love manifests in strange ways.
HE
He sat across the room from me...watching me. With part fascination and part curiosity.
The room was filled with smoke, bodies gyrating to the loud pumping music and and sexual sorcery.
Every once in awhile our eyes would meet and he would lock his gaze into mine as if trying to read my mind.
I stand there, swaying to the rhythm, rather intoxicated by the atmosphere and the four martinis I had. My friends are dancing all around me, some seated at a table not far away, chugging down bottles of vodka and some at the bar giggling amongst themselves.
Everyone around us is completely unaware of this little game that has started between strangers.
I break away from the dancefloor, walk over to the bar to finish my drink and set myself up for another one.
I lose myself in conversation with my friends at the bar and return to the table to find that he is no longer where I saw him last.
I jump straight on the dance floor and boogie down to the DJ's awesome grooves.
The energy is orgasmic. The vibes are euphoric.
I am offered a glass of champagne and I take it. Not for one moment questioning if I really should be having yet another drink especially since mixing drinks usually equal to trouble.
I ponder on it barely a second before I take a huge swig and set my sights back on the room.
I start to twiddle my shoulders and close my eyes, taking in the sounds of the party.
I feel someone step up behind me and I get a whiff of a delicious cologne.
For a second I think " Mmmmm a man who smells ....yummy."
I refuse to turn around. It's probably one of my fabulously metrosexual guy friends.
I hear a low sexy voice whisper in my ear, "Excuse me, ... Charmaine?"
I look over my shoulder and realize it's (guess who) adressing me.
I turn around and look at his strong face and say "Do I know you?"
He hands me a vodka martini and smiles.
And puts his other hand out as if asking for my hand and I look at him in puzzlement.
He hand reaches out for my champagne glass, and he pulls it softly from my grasp.
I open my mouth to thank him but he steps back and says
"You look like you are having a ball...please don't let me interrupt."
"Thank you for my drink." I manage.
He smiles and walks away.
I stand on the dance floor, perfectly chilled vodka martini just the way I like in, in hand and jaw sweeping the floor.
I tell myself.."That was a refreshing approach" and I smile at him now standing at the bar.
I start dancing again and sip away at my Dirty martini
and he stands there watching me with part curiosity and part appreciation.
Chivalry, class, mystery and charm...yum.
The room was filled with smoke, bodies gyrating to the loud pumping music and and sexual sorcery.
Every once in awhile our eyes would meet and he would lock his gaze into mine as if trying to read my mind.
I stand there, swaying to the rhythm, rather intoxicated by the atmosphere and the four martinis I had. My friends are dancing all around me, some seated at a table not far away, chugging down bottles of vodka and some at the bar giggling amongst themselves.
Everyone around us is completely unaware of this little game that has started between strangers.
I break away from the dancefloor, walk over to the bar to finish my drink and set myself up for another one.
I lose myself in conversation with my friends at the bar and return to the table to find that he is no longer where I saw him last.
I jump straight on the dance floor and boogie down to the DJ's awesome grooves.
The energy is orgasmic. The vibes are euphoric.
I am offered a glass of champagne and I take it. Not for one moment questioning if I really should be having yet another drink especially since mixing drinks usually equal to trouble.
I ponder on it barely a second before I take a huge swig and set my sights back on the room.
I start to twiddle my shoulders and close my eyes, taking in the sounds of the party.
I feel someone step up behind me and I get a whiff of a delicious cologne.
For a second I think " Mmmmm a man who smells ....yummy."
I refuse to turn around. It's probably one of my fabulously metrosexual guy friends.
I hear a low sexy voice whisper in my ear, "Excuse me, ... Charmaine?"
I look over my shoulder and realize it's (guess who) adressing me.
I turn around and look at his strong face and say "Do I know you?"
He hands me a vodka martini and smiles.
And puts his other hand out as if asking for my hand and I look at him in puzzlement.
He hand reaches out for my champagne glass, and he pulls it softly from my grasp.
I open my mouth to thank him but he steps back and says
"You look like you are having a ball...please don't let me interrupt."
"Thank you for my drink." I manage.
He smiles and walks away.
I stand on the dance floor, perfectly chilled vodka martini just the way I like in, in hand and jaw sweeping the floor.
I tell myself.."That was a refreshing approach" and I smile at him now standing at the bar.
I start dancing again and sip away at my Dirty martini
and he stands there watching me with part curiosity and part appreciation.
Chivalry, class, mystery and charm...yum.
Everyone knows I want to be a Goddess.
Or at least I hope everyone knows.
It may seem like a fairy tale dream or an insane ambition but I don't care.
I want to inspire little girls and guide gorgeous women.
I want to have special powers like making wishes come true and rewarding kind acts with beautiful gifts.
I want to be able to fly. I want to see the world through nothing but loving eyes.
I want to save the forest and I want to teach the children.
I want to bring a smile to everyone's face.
I'd like to spend days amongst the trees, in quiet contemplation and pray for all of humankind.
I'd like to feed the hungry, starting with the ones I love.
I want to share hope and bring joy when times are gloomy and
I want to shine when times are dark.
I want to chase sunsets and live by the ocean.
For water calms me and speaks to me.
My pretty home will sit on a cliff overlooking Mother Nature's wonder and every evening I will salute her in awe.
I want to take my dogs for long walks on the beach and I want to lay for hours in a huge hammock.
I want to read stories to children and play fun games with them.
I want my friends to be happy. And I want to be part of their happy lives.
I'd like to sing and dance and celebrate every chance I get....
I want to write a book. Fill it with memoirs and stories of my travels, my experiences, my life.
To share the gift of knowledge and to spread the word of Wonder.
To live a positive life and spread enthusiasm and optimism.
I want to find true love.
The sort that makes my heart flutter and my knees weak.
And I want to love without condition. Give my ALL to One
and gradually be able to share that love with ALL.
Everybody knows I want to be a Goddess... or at least I think everyone knows.
It may seem like a fairy tale dream or an insane ambition but I don't care.
I want to inspire little girls and guide gorgeous women.
I want to have special powers like making wishes come true and rewarding kind acts with beautiful gifts.
I want to be able to fly. I want to see the world through nothing but loving eyes.
I want to save the forest and I want to teach the children.
I want to bring a smile to everyone's face.
I'd like to spend days amongst the trees, in quiet contemplation and pray for all of humankind.
I'd like to feed the hungry, starting with the ones I love.
I want to share hope and bring joy when times are gloomy and
I want to shine when times are dark.
I want to chase sunsets and live by the ocean.
For water calms me and speaks to me.
My pretty home will sit on a cliff overlooking Mother Nature's wonder and every evening I will salute her in awe.
I want to take my dogs for long walks on the beach and I want to lay for hours in a huge hammock.
I want to read stories to children and play fun games with them.
I want my friends to be happy. And I want to be part of their happy lives.
I'd like to sing and dance and celebrate every chance I get....
I want to write a book. Fill it with memoirs and stories of my travels, my experiences, my life.
To share the gift of knowledge and to spread the word of Wonder.
To live a positive life and spread enthusiasm and optimism.
I want to find true love.
The sort that makes my heart flutter and my knees weak.
And I want to love without condition. Give my ALL to One
and gradually be able to share that love with ALL.
Everybody knows I want to be a Goddess... or at least I think everyone knows.
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