वैशाख

I have been feeling down. So down. Uncontrollably down.
And I have been hard on myself. I have been so hard on myself along with the ones I love and...
It's horrible. I feel horrible.
And for almost 2 weeks now, although I have done many exciting things and been totally inspired in little ways, I still feel bleak. Empty. Drained. Depressed.
Yes. And I am cautious about using that word, because it really is such a 'depressing' word.
But today... I saw a bit of light.
Or maybe I should say... a reason.
I know myself well enough to know that all I have been feeling, all that gunk that is surfacing now is doing so for a reason. Some internal clock. Cosmic forces.
Then I remember Vesak Day. Which is approaching and all becomes clear.
It's the Moon. Ending of a cycle. Purging of negative patterns and nasty habits.

On Vesākha Day, Buddhists all over the world commemorate events of significance to Buddhists of all traditions: The birth, enlightenment and the passing away of Gautama Buddha.

http://www.buddhanet.net/vesak.htm

Paying homage to the Buddha

Tradition ascribes to the Buddha himself instruction on how to pay him homage. Just before he died, he saw his faithful attendant Ananda, weeping. The Buddha advised him not to weep, but to understand the universal law that all compounded things (including even his own body) must disintegrate. He advised everyone not to cry over the disintegration of the physical body but to regard his teachings (The Dhamma) as their teacher from then on, because only the Dhamma truth is eternal and not subject to the law of change. He also stressed that the way to pay homage to him was not merely by offering flowers, incense, and lights, but by truly and sincerely striving to follow his teachings. This is how devotees are expected to celebrate Vesak: to use the opportunity to reiterate their determination to lead noble lives, to develop their minds, to practise loving-kindness and to bring peace and harmony to humanity.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ves%C4%81kha

I really hope this helps at least one of u. I have been hearing of many people feeling unhappy lately... and I want you to know it's part of the cycle.
We are part of the cycle. Of the whole.
What we feel, and say, and do and not do... affects it all.

Prepare yourself for Vesak Day! :) 28th May 2010 Full Moon. Go outside and have a moment.

Namaste All.