Bloomday Blues?

Omygosh it's that time of year again. The week before my birthday.
And before I look through my blog to see what I wrote the past few years during this period,
I can already sense the nerves.
It's crazy. A part of me knows that time is man-made and yes a birthday celebrates the day One comes into this realm or dimension but ultimately, it is the intensity I feel, in the natural forces of the Universe that make it clear that year after year, cycle after cycle, this whole period is of a fragile one.
My soul feels vulnerable.
I start to question my existence and how much I have contributed to the scales.
I weigh my connections and review promises I made to myself, every birthday before.
I wonder if anyone would ever really accept and understand all these wacky cycles of mine.

The rituals I do for myself, remind me of my own achievements, my own code and my direction.
I do not indulge myself just for the fun of. In fact, quite the opposite.

Gatherings like Burning Man or WoMad music festivals celebrate that Mighty Energy of many beings all rejoicing, which is powerful.
But birthday gatherings, I have come to discover, are opportunities to surround yourself with a very encouraging and nurturing energy as the lessons are personal and the joys, very close to the Heart.

So my birthday wish this year is not just for me but for my Loved Ones and family.
I wish for Inspiration and Abundance, Passion and Joyous Energy, Faith and Blessings.
May we trust that the bad times are for purging and detoxification so when the rainbow appears, Golden Light will come pouring in.
So be It.

C