Boundaries

This is the "message" I got.
Two are at one only when they remain two.
Boundaries are the invisible borders that surround each one of us like a second skin. They make the container that we fill with who we are- our sense of self.
It's a common fallacy to believe that love means dropping our boundaries in order to be closer to our partner, and it's true that it feels like intimacy. But this is not the intimacy of an adult: it's the rekindling of the childhood need for love and safety, when pleasing someone else was the only way to feel closed and loved. Perhaps this false intimacy has led to you becoming a "people-pleaser"-orbiting around the needs of your partner and allowing their emotions to invade you. Perhaps you're scared of stating your own needs for fear of causing conflict.
Boundaries are like our immune system. They support what is healthy and life-enhancing and resist what is not. So people with a good sense of boundaries recognize when they have had enough. They know their own limits and are able to shut the door and say "No".
Do you know what you want? Are you able to use your power of expression to draw the line? Can you truly distinguish what strengthens you from what weakens you? You are certainly being asked to question yourself now. Holding strong, healthy boundaries enables us to say "Yes" & "No" at the right times; to let in people who can care for and support us, and to keep out people who may hurt us. (This sentence spoke the most to me. :)
We need boundaries to retain our sense of ourselves as separate, autonomous beings when relating to others. Without them, we find it hard to know who's doing what to whom. And in the confusion, we can find ourselves taken taken over and lose a sense of our own direction. You may need to take some time out from your partner to do your own thing, or even discover what your thing is! It may feel threatening at first- you may fear others leaving if you don't give them what they want. But if the relationship is to be real and enduring, it requires you to take time to increase your confidence. (I so agree with this sentence too!)
A dynamic partnership is made up of two complete individuals who respect each other's boundaries. Building healthy boundaries is not something you can do overnight. Changing a deep-seated pattern is confronting and takes time, awareness and strength. But if you're prepared to start now and to persevere, you will learn to stop giving yourself away and begin to forge a life that serves your very highest good.
The Mirror Cards.