Looking through my 2008 diary, I come across quotes I picked up during the year. The ones that spoke to me enough for me to write it down in my little black book.
They are reminders and summaries of lessons I learned through all my encounters throughout the year.
It tells of the books I have read, the places I have been, the people I have met and my theories for life.
I would like to share some of my favorites with you.
"Life, if you keep chasing it so hard, will drive you to death.
Time - when pursued like a bandit - will behave like one;
Always remaining one country or one room ahead of you, changing its' name and hair color to elude.
At some point, you have to stop because it won't. You have to admit that you can't catch it.
At some point, you got to let it go and sit still and allow contentment to come to you." - Eat, Pray, Love Liz Gilbert.
"The Doctor of the future will not prescribe drugs; but will empower the patient with knowledge of nutrition and diet. Thereby prescribing self-healing..." Life Cafe, HK
"A Mother is the truest friend we have, when trails heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still she will cling to the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." - Washington Irving.
"Don't think, don't ask, just DAnce!
Move through Life like a drop of water.
Falling, flowing, rising, drifting. Free your boundaries.
Fly, Plunge, Run, Stop!
But always mirror the Light." - The Mirror Cards.
"The premise of objective journalism is to record and relay the truth of things, as if truth were out there, hanging around, waiting for the reporter to show up."
"Happiness comes more from loving than being loved; and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding.
To Love, and to be hurt often, and to love again - this is the Brave and Happy Life. - J. Buchrose
"People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. - Anonymous
Here's wishing you the very best in 2009.
Namaste.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Seasons Greetings
Less than a month away from Christmas now.
All the decorations are coming up and carols fill the air reminding everyone the festive season is here.
People start saying "Seasons greetings" and everywhere you turn, bright lights not only illuminate the buildings, but the sky too.
I have always been a huge Xmas fan. I know that sounds strange but I love the vibe it gives out. The season to be jolly apparently, and a time for giving.. as the sayings goes.
This year, somehow I have not felt it yet. The financial shit has hit the fan, there is war and bombings, if not earthquakes killing countless innocent lives. Everyone is feeling the pressure of how fast the year flew by. More so than any other year I remember, 2008 has zipped through.
An extremely harsh year for most, the karmic hand hit hard and life reared it's rude awakenings.
It seems too unfair to say, "Think positive! Look ahead, it'll all come around."
We know at the back of our heads that the road ahead is pretty bumpy.
We are going to have to hang in there and really support one another.
"When I'm weak, I draw strength from you, and when I lost, I know how to change your mood, when I'm down you breathe live over me. Even when we apart we are each others destiny."
The chorus from one of my favorites song. Goes to show how music speaks the heart.
It is so difficult to resist all this turmoil threatening the hope, the belief that minds will be twisted and compassion crushed.
Life is not a contract. Relationships are not bounded by what we can do for each other.
Friendships are not on a come and go basic. We are not that diluted. And we should never be.
There is always room to love, to share, to rely on. We want to invest in loyalty and trust and understanding. And forgiveness and growth and moving forward.
We all contribute differently to each other's lives. The energy I share with my favorite guy friend feeds a whole separate side of my soul, while hanging out with goddesses nurtures another part. We need to appreciate each person's energy exchange and treasure it for what it is worth.
"Only when the last tree has been cut down; Only when the last river has been poisoned; Only when the last fish has been caught; Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten." As the American Indian proverb goes.
So for the festive season this year, we need to center and ground ourselves and be as true with our intentions as we possibly can. Give genuinely and live from the heart.
A gesture of kindness touches the soul much deeper than a pricey present.
Make it a point to spend time alone to look inside and decide what your heart needs. Because when you think about it, we all need to reassess our lives, consider our priorities and live life to the best we can. We all want purpose, we want to contribute, change the world. Have our voices heard. Make a little bit of history. But we must always remember to take some time out to consider your true intentions. To see if you are on the right path. In the right direction.
Whatever it is, you must learn not to offend those who love and support you.
Not ego, but love will get you where you aspire to be.
Namaste.
All the decorations are coming up and carols fill the air reminding everyone the festive season is here.
People start saying "Seasons greetings" and everywhere you turn, bright lights not only illuminate the buildings, but the sky too.
I have always been a huge Xmas fan. I know that sounds strange but I love the vibe it gives out. The season to be jolly apparently, and a time for giving.. as the sayings goes.
This year, somehow I have not felt it yet. The financial shit has hit the fan, there is war and bombings, if not earthquakes killing countless innocent lives. Everyone is feeling the pressure of how fast the year flew by. More so than any other year I remember, 2008 has zipped through.
An extremely harsh year for most, the karmic hand hit hard and life reared it's rude awakenings.
It seems too unfair to say, "Think positive! Look ahead, it'll all come around."
We know at the back of our heads that the road ahead is pretty bumpy.
We are going to have to hang in there and really support one another.
"When I'm weak, I draw strength from you, and when I lost, I know how to change your mood, when I'm down you breathe live over me. Even when we apart we are each others destiny."
The chorus from one of my favorites song. Goes to show how music speaks the heart.
It is so difficult to resist all this turmoil threatening the hope, the belief that minds will be twisted and compassion crushed.
Life is not a contract. Relationships are not bounded by what we can do for each other.
Friendships are not on a come and go basic. We are not that diluted. And we should never be.
There is always room to love, to share, to rely on. We want to invest in loyalty and trust and understanding. And forgiveness and growth and moving forward.
We all contribute differently to each other's lives. The energy I share with my favorite guy friend feeds a whole separate side of my soul, while hanging out with goddesses nurtures another part. We need to appreciate each person's energy exchange and treasure it for what it is worth.
"Only when the last tree has been cut down; Only when the last river has been poisoned; Only when the last fish has been caught; Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten." As the American Indian proverb goes.
So for the festive season this year, we need to center and ground ourselves and be as true with our intentions as we possibly can. Give genuinely and live from the heart.
A gesture of kindness touches the soul much deeper than a pricey present.
Make it a point to spend time alone to look inside and decide what your heart needs. Because when you think about it, we all need to reassess our lives, consider our priorities and live life to the best we can. We all want purpose, we want to contribute, change the world. Have our voices heard. Make a little bit of history. But we must always remember to take some time out to consider your true intentions. To see if you are on the right path. In the right direction.
Whatever it is, you must learn not to offend those who love and support you.
Not ego, but love will get you where you aspire to be.
Namaste.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Kota Kinabalu
I just had a blessed weekend. One of the best, I would consider, ever.
Late Saturday afternoon, I left Hong Kong for Kota Kinabalu, Sabah.
After a 3 hour flight, it took us only 45 minutes to get to the resort where we feasted on a Asian Buffet dinner at the Shangri La's Rasa Ria Cafe right on the beachfront. The sambal kangkong was cooked fresh for us, while we tucked into cornflake prawns, chicken satays, fried rice with pinches of sambal belachan when desired and washed it all down with calamansi juice. I love Malaysian cuisine.
Right next to the restaurant sat a Live Band neighbouring a well-stocked bar facing the ocean, with rattan umbrellas and bar stools. While music seranaded the sky, we sat there drinking our whisky sodas listening to the crash of the waves in the distance. A handsome half moon was out so the stars made their guest appearance too.
With tummies full and happily intoxicated, we adjourned back to our rooms to discover the beauty of our new Ocean Wing suites. Fitted with everything one might need in their personal haven, we sipped vodka shots on our balcony overlooking the glorious pool and glazed out to the sea.
The next afternoon, after a hearty brunch, we lazed by the kidney shaped pool and had foot massages. Swam in the sun and dropped into the spa for a traditional massage before setting our eyes on one of the most beautiful sunsets ever. A
s we walked along the beach, discovering nature and marveling over the corpse of a jellyfish, deep oranges, baby blues and all of dusk's shades filled the heavens. By the time we walked back to our room and filled the bath tub on the verandah, the Moon showered the waters with light and we looked into the dark mysterious distance as our muscles relaxed into the warm bubbles.
And once we were ready, room service staff prepared a candle lit dinner for us on the mezzanine and we savoured our local delights with glee.
Then Adrian, our guide, brought us down to the Tambalang river where the Bajao people live, to climb onboard a sampan which took us along the river bed in search of fire flies.
As I looked ahead and saw the tree glow with little freckles of light, I found it hard to contain my excitement and awe. Anil, the boat man cupped a few of them (skillfully and delicately) to show us what they looked like normally and I was surprise to find it reminded me of the tip of a thin red and black matchstick. We were extremely lucky, our guides said, as they had never seen so many fireflies on one night ever. And we felt exhilarated, digesting how fortunate we were to experience Mother Nature's wonder in it's full glory.
After about an hour on the water, we headed back to have fresh coconut juice and local treats in a typical Bajao home. I even tried my hand at making a delicious Bajao fritter on the stove and got to see how the locals live in their kampongs.
We sat together on the floor to chat and eat and exchange cultures and jokes. And when he heard thunder in the background, we knew it was time to head back to call it a night. The drive back featured padi fields and vast farmland and we talked about adventures of Mount Kinabalu.
The following morning started early with Kathy the Orang Utan. We had a private meeting and I got to cradle Kathy, gander at her hands, study her expressions and share some energy with the young ape. It was magical. Then we watched as she fed while swinging and trimming through the trees, scrutinising the branches and plucking fruit. As we blew her kisses and trekked out of the forest, we headed to the beach where Kimmy and Adrian were waiting for us with 4 ATVs.
After we put on our helmets and went through necessary safety briefings, we revved our engines and sped toward the swamps to ride through jungle. Since it had rained overnight, the ride was very muddy and we got stuck a few times and had to be pulled out of the rut but we braved on and were rewarded with Sabah coffee and banana fritters at the village cafe on the other side. As we washed our faces and braced ourselves for another motor trail, we looked down the river just to admire the view and the mountains by the horizon. East Malaysia is stunning.
We rode our ATVs to the beach where we fishtailed in the sand and raced along the water's edge.
Our need for speed blew wind threw our hair and kissed our faces with warm exhilaration.
And then, we threw off our helmets, peeled off our layers and dived into the cool comfort of the pool. We swam away the mud, the heat, the aches and the stings of the afternoon and quenched our thrist with fresh calamsi juice and ice lemon tea with plum seeds.
We floated in silence, thinking about the events of the day with deep fulfillment and gratitude.
Next, we went for a drive around the base of Mount Kinabalu. Just for the incredibe views and to look at local villages and east malaysian houses. The villages are so multi racial there that pagans and Christians live right next to each other and Muslim homes can be seen right next to Catholic churches. All flowing alongside harmoniously. Families set up stalls right by the roadsides selling anything from durians to rambutans and whatever fruits their gardens reep. There are even hot springs in the area but we decided to leave that indulgence for another trip.
I tried a local dish called Hinava which is Sabah's version of markerel carpaccio. It is civeched in lemon juice, ginger, chili, shallots and lemongrass and it is extremely tasty.
And finally, true to Singaporean style, on the way to the airport, we stopped by the Town's Pasar Malam food market and gorged on ikan bakar and udang bakar, accompanied by bbq chicken heart, liver and wings. If we had stayed to discover the rest of the market, it would have set us back another day so we tore ourselves away and dutifully went to the airport.
Our flight was delayed an hour so we sat at the coffeeshop, glad to have more time to enjoy KK just by drinking Sabah Milk tea.
As we pulled off the runway, I inhaled deeply and thanked my lucky stars along with the angels and goddesses and higher beings, and bid farewell to KK as the lights of an incredible place faded into the nightsky.
Late Saturday afternoon, I left Hong Kong for Kota Kinabalu, Sabah.
After a 3 hour flight, it took us only 45 minutes to get to the resort where we feasted on a Asian Buffet dinner at the Shangri La's Rasa Ria Cafe right on the beachfront. The sambal kangkong was cooked fresh for us, while we tucked into cornflake prawns, chicken satays, fried rice with pinches of sambal belachan when desired and washed it all down with calamansi juice. I love Malaysian cuisine.
Right next to the restaurant sat a Live Band neighbouring a well-stocked bar facing the ocean, with rattan umbrellas and bar stools. While music seranaded the sky, we sat there drinking our whisky sodas listening to the crash of the waves in the distance. A handsome half moon was out so the stars made their guest appearance too.
With tummies full and happily intoxicated, we adjourned back to our rooms to discover the beauty of our new Ocean Wing suites. Fitted with everything one might need in their personal haven, we sipped vodka shots on our balcony overlooking the glorious pool and glazed out to the sea.
The next afternoon, after a hearty brunch, we lazed by the kidney shaped pool and had foot massages. Swam in the sun and dropped into the spa for a traditional massage before setting our eyes on one of the most beautiful sunsets ever. A
s we walked along the beach, discovering nature and marveling over the corpse of a jellyfish, deep oranges, baby blues and all of dusk's shades filled the heavens. By the time we walked back to our room and filled the bath tub on the verandah, the Moon showered the waters with light and we looked into the dark mysterious distance as our muscles relaxed into the warm bubbles.And once we were ready, room service staff prepared a candle lit dinner for us on the mezzanine and we savoured our local delights with glee.
Then Adrian, our guide, brought us down to the Tambalang river where the Bajao people live, to climb onboard a sampan which took us along the river bed in search of fire flies.
As I looked ahead and saw the tree glow with little freckles of light, I found it hard to contain my excitement and awe. Anil, the boat man cupped a few of them (skillfully and delicately) to show us what they looked like normally and I was surprise to find it reminded me of the tip of a thin red and black matchstick. We were extremely lucky, our guides said, as they had never seen so many fireflies on one night ever. And we felt exhilarated, digesting how fortunate we were to experience Mother Nature's wonder in it's full glory.
After about an hour on the water, we headed back to have fresh coconut juice and local treats in a typical Bajao home. I even tried my hand at making a delicious Bajao fritter on the stove and got to see how the locals live in their kampongs.
We sat together on the floor to chat and eat and exchange cultures and jokes. And when he heard thunder in the background, we knew it was time to head back to call it a night. The drive back featured padi fields and vast farmland and we talked about adventures of Mount Kinabalu.The following morning started early with Kathy the Orang Utan. We had a private meeting and I got to cradle Kathy, gander at her hands, study her expressions and share some energy with the young ape. It was magical. Then we watched as she fed while swinging and trimming through the trees, scrutinising the branches and plucking fruit. As we blew her kisses and trekked out of the forest, we headed to the beach where Kimmy and Adrian were waiting for us with 4 ATVs.
After we put on our helmets and went through necessary safety briefings, we revved our engines and sped toward the swamps to ride through jungle. Since it had rained overnight, the ride was very muddy and we got stuck a few times and had to be pulled out of the rut but we braved on and were rewarded with Sabah coffee and banana fritters at the village cafe on the other side. As we washed our faces and braced ourselves for another motor trail, we looked down the river just to admire the view and the mountains by the horizon. East Malaysia is stunning.
We rode our ATVs to the beach where we fishtailed in the sand and raced along the water's edge.
Our need for speed blew wind threw our hair and kissed our faces with warm exhilaration.
And then, we threw off our helmets, peeled off our layers and dived into the cool comfort of the pool. We swam away the mud, the heat, the aches and the stings of the afternoon and quenched our thrist with fresh calamsi juice and ice lemon tea with plum seeds.
We floated in silence, thinking about the events of the day with deep fulfillment and gratitude.
Next, we went for a drive around the base of Mount Kinabalu. Just for the incredibe views and to look at local villages and east malaysian houses. The villages are so multi racial there that pagans and Christians live right next to each other and Muslim homes can be seen right next to Catholic churches. All flowing alongside harmoniously. Families set up stalls right by the roadsides selling anything from durians to rambutans and whatever fruits their gardens reep. There are even hot springs in the area but we decided to leave that indulgence for another trip.
I tried a local dish called Hinava which is Sabah's version of markerel carpaccio. It is civeched in lemon juice, ginger, chili, shallots and lemongrass and it is extremely tasty.
And finally, true to Singaporean style, on the way to the airport, we stopped by the Town's Pasar Malam food market and gorged on ikan bakar and udang bakar, accompanied by bbq chicken heart, liver and wings. If we had stayed to discover the rest of the market, it would have set us back another day so we tore ourselves away and dutifully went to the airport.
Our flight was delayed an hour so we sat at the coffeeshop, glad to have more time to enjoy KK just by drinking Sabah Milk tea.
As we pulled off the runway, I inhaled deeply and thanked my lucky stars along with the angels and goddesses and higher beings, and bid farewell to KK as the lights of an incredible place faded into the nightsky.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Mean Girls.
As she sat there listening, in shock, to what this girl was saying to her, various thoughts crossed her mind.
"Is this for real?"
"Are you just going to sit here and let this girl talk to you like this?"
"Some people have such nerve! Or are just plain suicidal!"
Rachel kept her composure and let Shiat ramble on about how unhappy she observed Rachel to be lately. Knowing full well that the only thing she had been displeased about was the fact that Shiat had been nick picking on her the last few encounters due to her own insecurities.
"It's just that I am highly intuitive and I notice you have not been happy." Shiat claims.
Rachel bites down on her lip but resists the urge to reveal that the only thing Rachel has been holding back is retaliating to Shiat's lame attempts to provoke her.
"Thank you for your concern, but I am doing rather well actually and as much as I appreciate you offering up your therapists number, I don't think I need someone else to advise me on how to live and enjoy my life." Rachel graciously comments.
Shiat proceeds to lay it on Rachel, stating how unsuccessful she has been with finding the right man, how worn out she has been looking, and how quiet her career has gone.
Rachel takes a deep breath in, as she does when she meditates and on her exhale, releases all the negativity this conversation has brought upon her. She finds some polite reason to excuse herself and then takes a moment to center herself and her thoughts.
Rather stunned by the audacity, Rachel gathers herself and heads off for yoga practice. After her usual daily asana, she meditates and chants a little, assuring herself that compassion and understanding overcomes all issues, even stubborn little ones in denial. Karma is powerful and rears it's head naturally in time, it is not for her to teach others' lessons they themselves cannot learn.
Rachel knows that if she reacts badly to these lame attempts of jealously and maliciousness, it puts her down there on that childish, immature, insecure level and she has worked too hard on her spirituality and self respect to allow it to come crashing down alongside Shiat's bad intentions.
Rachel decides she will wait, and observe and trust that the truth will eventually reveal itself.
"Is this for real?"
"Are you just going to sit here and let this girl talk to you like this?"
"Some people have such nerve! Or are just plain suicidal!"
Rachel kept her composure and let Shiat ramble on about how unhappy she observed Rachel to be lately. Knowing full well that the only thing she had been displeased about was the fact that Shiat had been nick picking on her the last few encounters due to her own insecurities.
"It's just that I am highly intuitive and I notice you have not been happy." Shiat claims.
Rachel bites down on her lip but resists the urge to reveal that the only thing Rachel has been holding back is retaliating to Shiat's lame attempts to provoke her.
"Thank you for your concern, but I am doing rather well actually and as much as I appreciate you offering up your therapists number, I don't think I need someone else to advise me on how to live and enjoy my life." Rachel graciously comments.
Shiat proceeds to lay it on Rachel, stating how unsuccessful she has been with finding the right man, how worn out she has been looking, and how quiet her career has gone.
Rachel takes a deep breath in, as she does when she meditates and on her exhale, releases all the negativity this conversation has brought upon her. She finds some polite reason to excuse herself and then takes a moment to center herself and her thoughts.
Rather stunned by the audacity, Rachel gathers herself and heads off for yoga practice. After her usual daily asana, she meditates and chants a little, assuring herself that compassion and understanding overcomes all issues, even stubborn little ones in denial. Karma is powerful and rears it's head naturally in time, it is not for her to teach others' lessons they themselves cannot learn.
Rachel knows that if she reacts badly to these lame attempts of jealously and maliciousness, it puts her down there on that childish, immature, insecure level and she has worked too hard on her spirituality and self respect to allow it to come crashing down alongside Shiat's bad intentions.
Rachel decides she will wait, and observe and trust that the truth will eventually reveal itself.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Emotional Vomit.
I just can't put my finger on it.
I am back to this same dead end. And I feel like shit.
Take another little piece of my heart. Really.
I'm that miserable, self-doubting lonesome self again. The one who counts minutes and jumps at the sound of an incoming text message. The one that starts questioning personal values and turns on innocent little habits. There is just so much fear.
And all I can think of is fight the fear, do what's right. And yet sometimes even that turns out to be too much. I have spun myself into this dark cocoon and I am so afraid as the light diminishes.
I am constantly questioning myself. Frightened that I am turning into someone I don't want to be. I have doubted my self worth so much that I am even unaware of bad things being done to me. I justify bad behavior unnecessarily for others.
And yet there are times when I tell myself I should have just shut up. There have been tons of times when my careless comments have hit one or two below the belt. But I've always been a very frank person and I believe straight-forwardness is unrated.
I am drawn to people who are quick-witted and bluntly humorous. Which also means they are mildly neurotic and incredibly free-spirited. They gypsy through life as I do and understand the concept that lifestyle is a state of mind.
Mind you, I have also been very attracted to the clean cut, nerdy, workaholic Daddy's Golden Child few, who I must admit was one of the 'types' that broke my heart a bit.
So I associate the "Business Men" to be Club Swinging, Russian kissing, White Shirt uniform party goers who only use their women for physical reasons and thrive on their own testosterone and Daddy's approval.
So there....I have vented. And yes I feel better. And maybe now I can go to sleep and dream of the tattoo exhibition I attended today.
Well...wait on that, I will blog that experience with pictures...real soon.
Namaste.
I am back to this same dead end. And I feel like shit.
Take another little piece of my heart. Really.
I'm that miserable, self-doubting lonesome self again. The one who counts minutes and jumps at the sound of an incoming text message. The one that starts questioning personal values and turns on innocent little habits. There is just so much fear.
And all I can think of is fight the fear, do what's right. And yet sometimes even that turns out to be too much. I have spun myself into this dark cocoon and I am so afraid as the light diminishes.
I am constantly questioning myself. Frightened that I am turning into someone I don't want to be. I have doubted my self worth so much that I am even unaware of bad things being done to me. I justify bad behavior unnecessarily for others.
And yet there are times when I tell myself I should have just shut up. There have been tons of times when my careless comments have hit one or two below the belt. But I've always been a very frank person and I believe straight-forwardness is unrated.
I am drawn to people who are quick-witted and bluntly humorous. Which also means they are mildly neurotic and incredibly free-spirited. They gypsy through life as I do and understand the concept that lifestyle is a state of mind.
Mind you, I have also been very attracted to the clean cut, nerdy, workaholic Daddy's Golden Child few, who I must admit was one of the 'types' that broke my heart a bit.
So I associate the "Business Men" to be Club Swinging, Russian kissing, White Shirt uniform party goers who only use their women for physical reasons and thrive on their own testosterone and Daddy's approval.
So there....I have vented. And yes I feel better. And maybe now I can go to sleep and dream of the tattoo exhibition I attended today.
Well...wait on that, I will blog that experience with pictures...real soon.
Namaste.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Lost
You come to realize eventually that things just have to run their course.
And you start to learn fast that you have to let it go and flow with it.
I always find I compromise my pride and question my dignity which frustrates me and makes me feel like I am still running this hamster wheel in a rat race.
I find that patterns are hard to break. And I am put right back in a situation I was trying so hard to get out of. I feel I have not learn the lesson in some aspect I fail to see, or refuse to. I am trying my best to stay aware, do good, keep positive and run my course. But I am still in this strange maze which always leads me right back to 'being lost'.
I know I am unbalanced. And my priorities need to be re-evaluated. But I also know that living the life I have lived so far, it is difficult to understand, or even start to think about, the psychological frenzy that goes on in my head. To begin with, I have never really felt AT HOME anywhere. I have lived and seen SO many cities. Loved, lived and lusted in each of them but I have never really had anywhere I could really go home to. I have boxes of clothes, kitchenware, art, furniture in Australia, Bali, Hong Kong, Singapore but mostly memories and decorations that remind me of a certain time frame of my past. I have yet to own a place I can fill with 'trophies' of my excursions around the world and large hanging candles I plan to buy from Fremantle markets... And the reason I have not rooted myself is simply because I am still undecided.
So it is obvious to see you are whatever you focus on. I feel lost often, in my life, wondering if I'm going the right way. Worried if I've upset or hurt anyone along the way. But I am mainly lost because I am undecided. And once I put my foot down and claim what I deserve, all will fall into place. And I can plant my feet. And reach for the heavens.
Namaste.
And you start to learn fast that you have to let it go and flow with it.
I always find I compromise my pride and question my dignity which frustrates me and makes me feel like I am still running this hamster wheel in a rat race.
I find that patterns are hard to break. And I am put right back in a situation I was trying so hard to get out of. I feel I have not learn the lesson in some aspect I fail to see, or refuse to. I am trying my best to stay aware, do good, keep positive and run my course. But I am still in this strange maze which always leads me right back to 'being lost'.
I know I am unbalanced. And my priorities need to be re-evaluated. But I also know that living the life I have lived so far, it is difficult to understand, or even start to think about, the psychological frenzy that goes on in my head. To begin with, I have never really felt AT HOME anywhere. I have lived and seen SO many cities. Loved, lived and lusted in each of them but I have never really had anywhere I could really go home to. I have boxes of clothes, kitchenware, art, furniture in Australia, Bali, Hong Kong, Singapore but mostly memories and decorations that remind me of a certain time frame of my past. I have yet to own a place I can fill with 'trophies' of my excursions around the world and large hanging candles I plan to buy from Fremantle markets... And the reason I have not rooted myself is simply because I am still undecided.
So it is obvious to see you are whatever you focus on. I feel lost often, in my life, wondering if I'm going the right way. Worried if I've upset or hurt anyone along the way. But I am mainly lost because I am undecided. And once I put my foot down and claim what I deserve, all will fall into place. And I can plant my feet. And reach for the heavens.
Namaste.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Countdown to Bloomday
It's an hour and a half away from my birthday and I am sitting in my room at the Langham Hotel reminiscing about this exact moment in time last year when I was in Bali.
I was in Parta's house, watching a movie..gosh I wish I could remember which one now but at this moment, I am watching "Lipstick Jungle" for the record. Parta was outside in his kitchen on his laptop and smoking shishah and we had no plans to leave the house. My party was planned for the 10th so I thought I'd rest up til then. A few people mentioned that I shouldn't wait and suggested I start partying at the stroke of midnight but I was feeling rather depressed from some unexpected news I had received days before and just wanted to be alone.
Well now I am alone, an hour away from the bewitching hour and stunned to be in this predicament. The same disappointed and lonely feeling. At least last year, in Parta's home, the sweet darling pulled the power at midnight. I came storming out of the living area, part pissed for being interrupted from the movie (damn which movie was it?), and part scared since it was pitch dark to see what had happened. And there he was, with a bday cake and some candles :) and the glow off his cheeky face was priceless. He sang a little birthday song for me and I was actually moved to tears. I did a little child-like wiggle and dance and grinned like a school girl while I blew the candles out. After a few pictures and thank you hugs, in my blue urban outfitters overalls, I went back on the couch and finished my movie. Feeling absolutely joyous and blessed to have God-sent Parta and suddenly totally aware of how absolutely lucky I was to be in Bali at that very second. To be laying in the Island of the Gods.
Today, I am in Hong Kong. My mind is on a different dimension and I am so confused, I feel like my brain is going to explode. I am running all these memories through my head and feel like a ton of bricks. I know I need to vent but I also need to let most of it go as none of it is within my control and I must let the Universe take it's course. I guess because it's going to be my birthday, it signifies another whole year gone by and time feels like it's running out. I guess my lesson this year is patience and BOY it's driving a hard lesson!
The last month has given me some insight on my past. Lessons I am reminded of and rules I have so carelessly broke. Toxic patterns that has brought me around uptown, downtown and to motown and then the same dead end. And I guess what makes it worst is most of the time, I knew. I was aware. It was almost premeditated. So here I am, contemplating over all ways I have sabotaged myself in this last year.
SO I thought "What better time than to document this head fuck?" Why not blog it and let someone else read how you sadly anticipated your birthday. After this whole hour, I would have gotten enough off my chest to welcome in the next 'digit label' year of the rest of my life.
But I shall not. Instead I will think of how lovely my tomorrow will be.
Tomorrow I am doing Anusara yoga to start off my day with one of the best teachers from Pure Yoga, Patrick Creeman. I have to swing by the agency after for a casting and then I feel like booking a massage, if not swing by an art exhibition in the convention centre.
Then Ren, Erika and I are having dinner at Azure in LKF hotel before my party at Dragon I, thrown and hosted by my sweet Tai Lo, GY!! I chose the theme "Pink Mao Mao returns to DI" so all the old school crew will be there to party it up like the good old times.
I will be radiant and well rested and celebrating life the best way I know how to.
All my dreams have yet to come true.
Happy Birthday to Me.
:)
I was in Parta's house, watching a movie..gosh I wish I could remember which one now but at this moment, I am watching "Lipstick Jungle" for the record. Parta was outside in his kitchen on his laptop and smoking shishah and we had no plans to leave the house. My party was planned for the 10th so I thought I'd rest up til then. A few people mentioned that I shouldn't wait and suggested I start partying at the stroke of midnight but I was feeling rather depressed from some unexpected news I had received days before and just wanted to be alone.
Well now I am alone, an hour away from the bewitching hour and stunned to be in this predicament. The same disappointed and lonely feeling. At least last year, in Parta's home, the sweet darling pulled the power at midnight. I came storming out of the living area, part pissed for being interrupted from the movie (damn which movie was it?), and part scared since it was pitch dark to see what had happened. And there he was, with a bday cake and some candles :) and the glow off his cheeky face was priceless. He sang a little birthday song for me and I was actually moved to tears. I did a little child-like wiggle and dance and grinned like a school girl while I blew the candles out. After a few pictures and thank you hugs, in my blue urban outfitters overalls, I went back on the couch and finished my movie. Feeling absolutely joyous and blessed to have God-sent Parta and suddenly totally aware of how absolutely lucky I was to be in Bali at that very second. To be laying in the Island of the Gods.
Today, I am in Hong Kong. My mind is on a different dimension and I am so confused, I feel like my brain is going to explode. I am running all these memories through my head and feel like a ton of bricks. I know I need to vent but I also need to let most of it go as none of it is within my control and I must let the Universe take it's course. I guess because it's going to be my birthday, it signifies another whole year gone by and time feels like it's running out. I guess my lesson this year is patience and BOY it's driving a hard lesson!
The last month has given me some insight on my past. Lessons I am reminded of and rules I have so carelessly broke. Toxic patterns that has brought me around uptown, downtown and to motown and then the same dead end. And I guess what makes it worst is most of the time, I knew. I was aware. It was almost premeditated. So here I am, contemplating over all ways I have sabotaged myself in this last year.
SO I thought "What better time than to document this head fuck?" Why not blog it and let someone else read how you sadly anticipated your birthday. After this whole hour, I would have gotten enough off my chest to welcome in the next 'digit label' year of the rest of my life.
But I shall not. Instead I will think of how lovely my tomorrow will be.
Tomorrow I am doing Anusara yoga to start off my day with one of the best teachers from Pure Yoga, Patrick Creeman. I have to swing by the agency after for a casting and then I feel like booking a massage, if not swing by an art exhibition in the convention centre.
Then Ren, Erika and I are having dinner at Azure in LKF hotel before my party at Dragon I, thrown and hosted by my sweet Tai Lo, GY!! I chose the theme "Pink Mao Mao returns to DI" so all the old school crew will be there to party it up like the good old times.
I will be radiant and well rested and celebrating life the best way I know how to.
All my dreams have yet to come true.
Happy Birthday to Me.
:)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Typhoon once again!
Yet another typhoon in Hong Kong. Yet another chance to snuggle indoors, stock up on the junk food and catch up on movies.
Unfortunately, all my typhoons in Hong Kong (and Taiwan-come to think of it), I have spent all alone.
In my dreams, I picture wild winds, heavy rains and flying billboards outside but me all tucked up in front of the TV, warm and dry, blissed out and content indoors. Curled up next to my partner, whispering sweet nothings and stealing lusty kisses while thanking our lucky stars we are not fighting the torrential rains outside.
The hard truth is, that has yet to happen. The truth is, fate has it that I have to deal with typhoons alone. Fate says "no romantic typhoons" for you Charm.
Even with your positivity and optimism, this is the one indulgence I cannot have just yet.
The universe kindly tells me that I am already lucky to be stranded in a hotel where the gym is one floor above me and room service is at my beck and call but my heart cannot luxuriate and my body cannot coddle in the warmth of another.
I use the saying "God is fair" often. I even believe it wholly. But God sometimes has a sick sense of humor. And although I trust that He has big plans for me, I often feel frustrated when my wishes are not granted.
As I write this, the winds outside increase suddenly and wind pounds angrily on my windows, as if a sign to say "why are you speaking this way?" ..."why can you not see the gifts I have already provided?".
I suddenly feel guilt. I feel like I ask for too much.
But all I ask for is Love. And companionship. And someone who will tell me that it's OK to want to share joy with another.
I do not think I am deprived because I have not given enough or not loved enough. Often, I am clueless as to why I am still in this lonely situation. Why I cannot divvy all I have in my heart with someone else, even though i am willing. Why am I always missing, wishing, craving, yearning?
Rain always makes me think. Always make me lonely. Reminds me of those days in Bali. Reminds me of Mary J. Blige's song "Rainy Dayz". Pains me.
Makes me want to run the streets, soaked and crying. Makes me question and doubt.
One the other hand, it makes me soft and thoughtful. Makes me go all romantic.
Makes me think of sweet kisses in the rain and romantic exclamations.
I am drunk. I have had one too many vodka sodas which i started as the typhoon signal was hoisted hours ago. As a rebellious act, to drown my sorrows.
What else are we suppose to do in a typhoon, alone? How else is there to feel better about being stuck indoors by yourself?
I am going to pour myself another one....right now.
Unfortunately, all my typhoons in Hong Kong (and Taiwan-come to think of it), I have spent all alone.
In my dreams, I picture wild winds, heavy rains and flying billboards outside but me all tucked up in front of the TV, warm and dry, blissed out and content indoors. Curled up next to my partner, whispering sweet nothings and stealing lusty kisses while thanking our lucky stars we are not fighting the torrential rains outside.
The hard truth is, that has yet to happen. The truth is, fate has it that I have to deal with typhoons alone. Fate says "no romantic typhoons" for you Charm.
Even with your positivity and optimism, this is the one indulgence I cannot have just yet.
The universe kindly tells me that I am already lucky to be stranded in a hotel where the gym is one floor above me and room service is at my beck and call but my heart cannot luxuriate and my body cannot coddle in the warmth of another.
I use the saying "God is fair" often. I even believe it wholly. But God sometimes has a sick sense of humor. And although I trust that He has big plans for me, I often feel frustrated when my wishes are not granted.
As I write this, the winds outside increase suddenly and wind pounds angrily on my windows, as if a sign to say "why are you speaking this way?" ..."why can you not see the gifts I have already provided?".
I suddenly feel guilt. I feel like I ask for too much.
But all I ask for is Love. And companionship. And someone who will tell me that it's OK to want to share joy with another.
I do not think I am deprived because I have not given enough or not loved enough. Often, I am clueless as to why I am still in this lonely situation. Why I cannot divvy all I have in my heart with someone else, even though i am willing. Why am I always missing, wishing, craving, yearning?
Rain always makes me think. Always make me lonely. Reminds me of those days in Bali. Reminds me of Mary J. Blige's song "Rainy Dayz". Pains me.
Makes me want to run the streets, soaked and crying. Makes me question and doubt.
One the other hand, it makes me soft and thoughtful. Makes me go all romantic.
Makes me think of sweet kisses in the rain and romantic exclamations.
I am drunk. I have had one too many vodka sodas which i started as the typhoon signal was hoisted hours ago. As a rebellious act, to drown my sorrows.
What else are we suppose to do in a typhoon, alone? How else is there to feel better about being stuck indoors by yourself?
I am going to pour myself another one....right now.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Partying these days!
You know I have been in and out of the Hong Kong party scene for awhile now and I have seen many "party animals" come and go.
A lot of the posse have worn themselves out or started families and have fallen off the party wagon, some have chosen a healthier path and others have just left the country to go back to their hometown or pursue goals that Hong Kong cannot provide them.
One thing for sure though, times have changed.
When you fill clubs with so many young, immature, insecure people and feed them booze and drugs on a regular basis, you encourage bad behavior.
There is so much gossip and drama spreading around these days that it defeats the whole 'party' purpose.
Instead of the 'good old days' when everyone was out to have a good time. To dance, to spread some love and to add positive energy to the already pumping vibe.
Today, what one wears and which 'rich guys' table you sit at is far more important and noticed then how great fun you are or how lovely your carefree spirit is.
The nightlife in Hong Kong these days has turned into one giant "Night Club".
Russian girls gyrating around one table, Brazilians frolicking around another and sleazy, sweaty men cruising around, convinced their magnum bottles, boozy breath and lame pick up lines will land them a lay.
Going out is no longer about celebrating the weekend, or letting loose. It has become one big fake fashion parade garnished with vicious talk and petty judgment.
Gone are the days when you come home after a night out and feel pleased about meeting someone new and exciting or relieved you danced your worries away.
These days, you wake up the morning after worrying if you said something that someone could hold against you even if you said it while being highly intoxicated.
Before, there was an unspoken acceptance that whatever was done or said was all out of good fun and never repeated. Before, if anybody did have something bad to say about the party the night before, it was usually how early it ended and didn't give everyone enough time to celebrate together.
It makes me wonder how it got to this point. How it all changed so drastically.
Did we drop our standards and welcome in one too many party poopers? Or did we hand over our 'joyous' thrones to shallow nit pickers with big egos and superficial pockets?
Are we going to claim back our 'party purpose' and pass on the real tips of 'good times' or are we going to burn and bury it with our youth?
For those of us with already lovely party memories, it would be easy to say "Good Riddens" but for those of us who see our friends still on the circuit, walking toward that big black hole... for old school sake, shouldn't we say "Open your Eyes dude....watch where you're heading!"
A lot of the posse have worn themselves out or started families and have fallen off the party wagon, some have chosen a healthier path and others have just left the country to go back to their hometown or pursue goals that Hong Kong cannot provide them.
One thing for sure though, times have changed.
When you fill clubs with so many young, immature, insecure people and feed them booze and drugs on a regular basis, you encourage bad behavior.
There is so much gossip and drama spreading around these days that it defeats the whole 'party' purpose.
Instead of the 'good old days' when everyone was out to have a good time. To dance, to spread some love and to add positive energy to the already pumping vibe.
Today, what one wears and which 'rich guys' table you sit at is far more important and noticed then how great fun you are or how lovely your carefree spirit is.
The nightlife in Hong Kong these days has turned into one giant "Night Club".
Russian girls gyrating around one table, Brazilians frolicking around another and sleazy, sweaty men cruising around, convinced their magnum bottles, boozy breath and lame pick up lines will land them a lay.
Going out is no longer about celebrating the weekend, or letting loose. It has become one big fake fashion parade garnished with vicious talk and petty judgment.
Gone are the days when you come home after a night out and feel pleased about meeting someone new and exciting or relieved you danced your worries away.
These days, you wake up the morning after worrying if you said something that someone could hold against you even if you said it while being highly intoxicated.
Before, there was an unspoken acceptance that whatever was done or said was all out of good fun and never repeated. Before, if anybody did have something bad to say about the party the night before, it was usually how early it ended and didn't give everyone enough time to celebrate together.
It makes me wonder how it got to this point. How it all changed so drastically.
Did we drop our standards and welcome in one too many party poopers? Or did we hand over our 'joyous' thrones to shallow nit pickers with big egos and superficial pockets?
Are we going to claim back our 'party purpose' and pass on the real tips of 'good times' or are we going to burn and bury it with our youth?
For those of us with already lovely party memories, it would be easy to say "Good Riddens" but for those of us who see our friends still on the circuit, walking toward that big black hole... for old school sake, shouldn't we say "Open your Eyes dude....watch where you're heading!"
Friday, September 5, 2008
Look Ahead!
Yes yes I know I went M.I.A.
Have not written or updated my blog in awhile now.
It was not due to lack of inspiration, fact is, it was quite the contrary.
I have been doing, practicing, praying, experiencing, living, loving, laughing, crying, partying, sleeping, working, sharing, smiling, traveling, focusing, adjusting, accepting, dealing, doubting, confronting and looking within.
I watched Cirque Du Soleil's Zaia last night at the Venetian in Macau and was awed by the performers and their discipline. Such control, strength and elegance. It reflected to me how the human body and spirit is so capable of accomplishing such magical feats with focus and dedication. Similar to how I felt after watching most of the Olympic games.
With such inspiration, I went into my asana practice today determined to push my body to greater limits and fully enjoy the work out.
I can feel a transformation coming around yet again.
I can feel a powerful force entering my life, challenging me to transcend toward a higher plain.
I can feel the universe presenting me with greater choices, elevated senses and blessed beings.
I only have to remain focused and embrace these gifts and remember to use them for the greater good of mankind.
I am also reminded how important proper rest and nourishment is for my temple and how my mind and spirit will only continue to expand if I invest correctly in all that is good for me.
SO now, at this very moment, I am going to be still and look inward.
Take a deep breath and go inside....
Ponder on my purpose and welcome my lessons.
For I truly believe that cheerfulness and optimism will always lead me down the right path.
Always look ahead... your whole self will follow naturally.
Have not written or updated my blog in awhile now.
It was not due to lack of inspiration, fact is, it was quite the contrary.
I have been doing, practicing, praying, experiencing, living, loving, laughing, crying, partying, sleeping, working, sharing, smiling, traveling, focusing, adjusting, accepting, dealing, doubting, confronting and looking within.
I watched Cirque Du Soleil's Zaia last night at the Venetian in Macau and was awed by the performers and their discipline. Such control, strength and elegance. It reflected to me how the human body and spirit is so capable of accomplishing such magical feats with focus and dedication. Similar to how I felt after watching most of the Olympic games.
With such inspiration, I went into my asana practice today determined to push my body to greater limits and fully enjoy the work out.
I can feel a transformation coming around yet again.
I can feel a powerful force entering my life, challenging me to transcend toward a higher plain.
I can feel the universe presenting me with greater choices, elevated senses and blessed beings.
I only have to remain focused and embrace these gifts and remember to use them for the greater good of mankind.
I am also reminded how important proper rest and nourishment is for my temple and how my mind and spirit will only continue to expand if I invest correctly in all that is good for me.
SO now, at this very moment, I am going to be still and look inward.
Take a deep breath and go inside....
Ponder on my purpose and welcome my lessons.
For I truly believe that cheerfulness and optimism will always lead me down the right path.
Always look ahead... your whole self will follow naturally.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Pandemonium
I think I've spun out of control.
My thoughts are all over the place. I have not prayed or meditated in ages. My asana today was weak and unfocused.
Aphrodite pandemonium is on the loose.
I have forgotten the truth in peace, the purity of moderation and the will to resist temptation.
It seems like I am having too much fun and thinking way too little.
I am not unhappy. Just unfocused.
And I know if I carry on, this carelessly, I will pay terribly for it.
It is not too late. I can right my wrongs, pull my thoughts and speech together and rise above it.
Coming out stronger and learning more of the lessons needed in this lifetime.
As much as I know I need to experience life and walk strange paths, I cannot lose sight of compassion and austerity.
I cannot forget to be truthful, less judgemental, more patient and steady in my progression.
I need to use my heart more and my mind, undoubtedly will follow.
I need to be strong and I need to share strength. I need to inspire in order to be inspired.
If I cannot handle all that's on my plate, I need to sort that out immediately. I need to prioritize and I need to focus.
I need to stay true to what I believe.
Love all, trust a few and do wrong to none.
My thoughts are all over the place. I have not prayed or meditated in ages. My asana today was weak and unfocused.
Aphrodite pandemonium is on the loose.
I have forgotten the truth in peace, the purity of moderation and the will to resist temptation.
It seems like I am having too much fun and thinking way too little.
I am not unhappy. Just unfocused.
And I know if I carry on, this carelessly, I will pay terribly for it.
It is not too late. I can right my wrongs, pull my thoughts and speech together and rise above it.
Coming out stronger and learning more of the lessons needed in this lifetime.
As much as I know I need to experience life and walk strange paths, I cannot lose sight of compassion and austerity.
I cannot forget to be truthful, less judgemental, more patient and steady in my progression.
I need to use my heart more and my mind, undoubtedly will follow.
I need to be strong and I need to share strength. I need to inspire in order to be inspired.
If I cannot handle all that's on my plate, I need to sort that out immediately. I need to prioritize and I need to focus.
I need to stay true to what I believe.
Love all, trust a few and do wrong to none.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
wow.
Wow...
It's funny the things you manifest.
Thoughts are just so powerful. When you open your eyes and your mind, the possibilities are endless. Cups start to overflow... little signs start showing even in the smallest of actions.
You have given me time to reflect. And I am not sure if it's simply because I see so much of myself in you.
You seem to notice even the smallest glint in my eyes and I see each curve of your smile.
We share mutual comfort yet we burn for each other. I respect your responsibilities and you somehow align mine.
I beat myself up sometimes, for falling into temptation so quickly. But you taught me that nothing needs to be perfect. That blessed lessons come from powerful mistakes.
And since we've met, I've felt a renewed sense of creative bliss.
The 'want' to put things together, beautifully.
That life CAN be just about now. That we are all put in each other's path for a reason.
You've inspired me to write again, and that is the ultimate gift.
It makes me feel like I am being true to myself and you make me feel like that's a lovely thing.
All in such a short span of time.
So I say Namaste Sweet One.
You are enlightening me.
It's funny the things you manifest.
Thoughts are just so powerful. When you open your eyes and your mind, the possibilities are endless. Cups start to overflow... little signs start showing even in the smallest of actions.
You have given me time to reflect. And I am not sure if it's simply because I see so much of myself in you.
You seem to notice even the smallest glint in my eyes and I see each curve of your smile.
We share mutual comfort yet we burn for each other. I respect your responsibilities and you somehow align mine.
I beat myself up sometimes, for falling into temptation so quickly. But you taught me that nothing needs to be perfect. That blessed lessons come from powerful mistakes.
And since we've met, I've felt a renewed sense of creative bliss.
The 'want' to put things together, beautifully.
That life CAN be just about now. That we are all put in each other's path for a reason.
You've inspired me to write again, and that is the ultimate gift.
It makes me feel like I am being true to myself and you make me feel like that's a lovely thing.
All in such a short span of time.
So I say Namaste Sweet One.
You are enlightening me.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Summertime Parties
I love summer in Hong Kong. Everyone's energy picks up, there are a few more smiles on the streets. Less judgmental stares if you wear shorts and just the occasional umbrella to poke you in the eye.
Weekends are filled with boat parties. Last week, a huge beach party was thrown. Beautiful cruises and yachts all docked around the bay and music filled the sunny skies. There were dinghys, jet skis, banana boats and floats for everyone to jump on. On each yacht, different concoctions of activities were unfolding. Card games started, people caught up in small intimate groups, beautiful models wearing close to nothing sprawled all over the boat, tanning. 5 cruisers anchored together, creating a centerpiece for the celebration and Dj's and their decks came out. Everyone had a drink in their hand, even the ones swimming in the water. Honorably holding out their glasses while trying to swim or climb onto a dinghy. Regardless of the insignificant sense of balance, everyone had a smile on their lips.
For sunset, a marquee was set up on the bay and the decks moved there... along with the sun seekers...or by now, I should say... drunken sunset chasers. Bodies pulsating all over the beach, grooving to the sexy music and enjoying the change of scene. The mood changes... everyone mellows out and suddenly there is a peacefulness that blankets everyone. It is sunset. My favorite time of day. Dusk. When day turns to night. The colors of the sky seem more beautiful than any other time of day and everything is so prettily lit...naturally. Nobody wants this day to end but we're already been blessed with much so we skull our drinks and jump back on the yachts we came in.
And as everyone peels off in their yachts, to head back to land to party some where else, or have dinner... silence once again creeps over this lovely island awaiting another summer inspired occasion.
Weekends are filled with boat parties. Last week, a huge beach party was thrown. Beautiful cruises and yachts all docked around the bay and music filled the sunny skies. There were dinghys, jet skis, banana boats and floats for everyone to jump on. On each yacht, different concoctions of activities were unfolding. Card games started, people caught up in small intimate groups, beautiful models wearing close to nothing sprawled all over the boat, tanning. 5 cruisers anchored together, creating a centerpiece for the celebration and Dj's and their decks came out. Everyone had a drink in their hand, even the ones swimming in the water. Honorably holding out their glasses while trying to swim or climb onto a dinghy. Regardless of the insignificant sense of balance, everyone had a smile on their lips.
For sunset, a marquee was set up on the bay and the decks moved there... along with the sun seekers...or by now, I should say... drunken sunset chasers. Bodies pulsating all over the beach, grooving to the sexy music and enjoying the change of scene. The mood changes... everyone mellows out and suddenly there is a peacefulness that blankets everyone. It is sunset. My favorite time of day. Dusk. When day turns to night. The colors of the sky seem more beautiful than any other time of day and everything is so prettily lit...naturally. Nobody wants this day to end but we're already been blessed with much so we skull our drinks and jump back on the yachts we came in.
And as everyone peels off in their yachts, to head back to land to party some where else, or have dinner... silence once again creeps over this lovely island awaiting another summer inspired occasion.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Boundaries
This is the "message" I got.
Two are at one only when they remain two.
Boundaries are the invisible borders that surround each one of us like a second skin. They make the container that we fill with who we are- our sense of self.
It's a common fallacy to believe that love means dropping our boundaries in order to be closer to our partner, and it's true that it feels like intimacy. But this is not the intimacy of an adult: it's the rekindling of the childhood need for love and safety, when pleasing someone else was the only way to feel closed and loved. Perhaps this false intimacy has led to you becoming a "people-pleaser"-orbiting around the needs of your partner and allowing their emotions to invade you. Perhaps you're scared of stating your own needs for fear of causing conflict.
Boundaries are like our immune system. They support what is healthy and life-enhancing and resist what is not. So people with a good sense of boundaries recognize when they have had enough. They know their own limits and are able to shut the door and say "No".
Do you know what you want? Are you able to use your power of expression to draw the line? Can you truly distinguish what strengthens you from what weakens you? You are certainly being asked to question yourself now. Holding strong, healthy boundaries enables us to say "Yes" & "No" at the right times; to let in people who can care for and support us, and to keep out people who may hurt us. (This sentence spoke the most to me. :)
We need boundaries to retain our sense of ourselves as separate, autonomous beings when relating to others. Without them, we find it hard to know who's doing what to whom. And in the confusion, we can find ourselves taken taken over and lose a sense of our own direction. You may need to take some time out from your partner to do your own thing, or even discover what your thing is! It may feel threatening at first- you may fear others leaving if you don't give them what they want. But if the relationship is to be real and enduring, it requires you to take time to increase your confidence. (I so agree with this sentence too!)
A dynamic partnership is made up of two complete individuals who respect each other's boundaries. Building healthy boundaries is not something you can do overnight. Changing a deep-seated pattern is confronting and takes time, awareness and strength. But if you're prepared to start now and to persevere, you will learn to stop giving yourself away and begin to forge a life that serves your very highest good.
The Mirror Cards.
Two are at one only when they remain two.
Boundaries are the invisible borders that surround each one of us like a second skin. They make the container that we fill with who we are- our sense of self.
It's a common fallacy to believe that love means dropping our boundaries in order to be closer to our partner, and it's true that it feels like intimacy. But this is not the intimacy of an adult: it's the rekindling of the childhood need for love and safety, when pleasing someone else was the only way to feel closed and loved. Perhaps this false intimacy has led to you becoming a "people-pleaser"-orbiting around the needs of your partner and allowing their emotions to invade you. Perhaps you're scared of stating your own needs for fear of causing conflict.
Boundaries are like our immune system. They support what is healthy and life-enhancing and resist what is not. So people with a good sense of boundaries recognize when they have had enough. They know their own limits and are able to shut the door and say "No".
Do you know what you want? Are you able to use your power of expression to draw the line? Can you truly distinguish what strengthens you from what weakens you? You are certainly being asked to question yourself now. Holding strong, healthy boundaries enables us to say "Yes" & "No" at the right times; to let in people who can care for and support us, and to keep out people who may hurt us. (This sentence spoke the most to me. :)
We need boundaries to retain our sense of ourselves as separate, autonomous beings when relating to others. Without them, we find it hard to know who's doing what to whom. And in the confusion, we can find ourselves taken taken over and lose a sense of our own direction. You may need to take some time out from your partner to do your own thing, or even discover what your thing is! It may feel threatening at first- you may fear others leaving if you don't give them what they want. But if the relationship is to be real and enduring, it requires you to take time to increase your confidence. (I so agree with this sentence too!)
A dynamic partnership is made up of two complete individuals who respect each other's boundaries. Building healthy boundaries is not something you can do overnight. Changing a deep-seated pattern is confronting and takes time, awareness and strength. But if you're prepared to start now and to persevere, you will learn to stop giving yourself away and begin to forge a life that serves your very highest good.
The Mirror Cards.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Paris ...ah, paris.
After our conversation today,
I got to reminiscing about Paris. Sigh. Paris. You know it always feels better when you do that. Take that pause after you say Paris....sigh, and ring those vibrations through your tongue once more.
Paris is my favorite cliche. The city of romances, not necessarily always with another person but definitely involving matters of the heart. I fell in love with the city, the idea behind the city, the architecture, the sexy silhouette of those romantic bridges at night, walking pass the most amazing buildings ever made. The cafes in the evenings and the intense energy. One of my favorite memories must have been witnessing a couple miss the "universally known" green man crossing simply because they were kissing. Walking into restaurants is exactly how you would see it in the movies. Couples holding hands across the table or french men cupping their lady's faces in their hands, staring into each other's eyes. To me, it's as if the Eiffel Tower radiates out some kind of love energy and the whole city is bewitched.
I was only 19 when I lived in Paris. My first day there, after a ridiculously long flight from Singapore, I was picked up and taken straight to my agency Ford. It was 8am Paris time and I was exhausted, looking like a wet rat. Which believe me, became a regular 'look' in my stay there due to Paris's crazy weather. YSL saw me after a frightful rainstorm and I wet most of the foyer. Probably explained why I didn't get the job.
Anyway... the moment I got into the Ford office, my booker told me to leave my luggage at the agency, go downstairs to the bookstore and buy a city guide map book, handed me 2 A4 prints with 'instructions" and literally showed me the door. A bit thrown off, but partially excited, I made my way to the bookstore. Along the way, one of my first sights of Paris, was a half-naked man covered in lesions, throwing up along the side of the road.
Rather shaken and filled with fright, I find the bookstore, grab my map and head back out.
Ok let me just tell you that Parisians can be rather ...well.... curt. If you speak to them in English, they'd probably ignore you or give you the wrong directions, seriously. French is a BEAUTIFUL language but I believe, you should speak it well or not speak it at all.
Ok ok long story short, I basically went on the rest of my day... lost in the city. I had 12 castings to go to. But i think I only managed 5. And even those, I had to cheat and take a taxi to because I just couldn't bare to go down through the Metro and not see any of the city. There was so much adrenalin pumping through me and this was just the first day.
After getting back to the agency about 8pm, I picked up my luggage and got sent home to the model's apartments. It was a little building of about 5 floors on Rue Parmentier and with little self contained dorm-like rooms, about 6 on each floor. 2 girls to a room, which had a little kitchen and bathroom and 2 twin beds. The corridors became our living room and we hardly ever closed our room doors since all the girls , fortunately, got along. We got along so well, we were known as our director's favorites. Now I'm kind of getting a little ahead of myself here and as far as stories about Paris goes...I have too many to break down now. But at that point, I was new, settling into a place completely unknown to me. Nothing was in English, so for the first few nights, I would read the only thing that was in a language I understand, and the hard copy I had. The bible. Honest.
It was initially more a form of meditation, my reading. My need to associated myself with something familiar to me, the written word. So before I started exploring the city, my nights would be with the bible, going through historic verses and pondering on life.
Well, over time I learned the ropes. One of them was if a few girls had the same castings, they would book a car and split it 4 or 5 ways.. so we would make all our castings and not burn a hole in our pockets. Of course, there's the good old reliable way which models all around the world still use. The Metro, a.k.a The Subway. Every model can tell you a story about the Paris Metro. Shit just goes down. I know a model who got slapped in the train just for looking at some looney French guy. I almost got mugged by this guy who asked me for a cigarette and after I gave him mine, he grabbed me and pulled me down the stairs. Luckily, Alex Wek, who was my 'neighbor' and who I planned to meet there saw him and came running toward us yelling, scaring the guy off.
So anyway, living in Paris is financially challenging to any struggling model. My daily breakfast would be banana and yogurt, lunch was a chocolate croissant and dinner was pretty much bananas and yogurt too unless one of the girls decided to cook pasta and invite everyone for some. Most nights we had red wine since it was so cheap and the only way to indulge ourselves if we weren't all going out for some 'company' dinner. My favorite restaurant in Paris was Leon's because my memories of it was so simply. I would go in about 3 times a week for lunch, by myself, order a big pot of mussels and a glass of champagne and tuck in. No conversation, no distractions, my personal time out. Then I would stick my hands deep into my coat pockets, inhale the cold air deeply and walk the Champs-Elysées to just absorb the vibes of Paris.
The day I went to Notre Dame, it was so overwhelming, I cried. The afternoon I was standing on top of the Eiffel tower, I was speechless but grinning ear to ear. The evening I went to the Louvre, Alek and I played frisbee out front in the park. Paris became joyous. It was somewhere in between those experiences that I fell in love.
No doubt I had my dark nights, where I would be home-sick and spent nights crying at the bottom of the stairs where the public phone was. But the city whispered kindly to me and before long, I was having fun-filled dinners with friends, partying at clubs and having lots of in-house slumber parties. I was once even hit on by Marcus Schenkenberg at a party but we were both too pickled to even talk by then. Another area us girls grew to love to hang out at was Saint-Sébastien. Known as the gay district of Paris, it had the quaintest little bars and a crowd that celebrated a whole bunch of tall pretty ladies as oppose to jumping them. Us, models would sit in a tiny bar all night, drinking cocktail after cocktails, spilling our guts about every subject imaginable like sex (the universal language, next to music), gut wrenching experiences, and hilarious work stories.
The days I had free, I would sit under a tree and watch the world walk by.
There are so many memories I have of Paris. They are all so vivid to me... each story more detailed than the next. I look forward to sharing them all one day with you. But for now, all I can imagine is the next time I am there. To be able to soak Paris in all over again, once more.
Paris,..... ah, Paris.
I got to reminiscing about Paris. Sigh. Paris. You know it always feels better when you do that. Take that pause after you say Paris....sigh, and ring those vibrations through your tongue once more.
Paris is my favorite cliche. The city of romances, not necessarily always with another person but definitely involving matters of the heart. I fell in love with the city, the idea behind the city, the architecture, the sexy silhouette of those romantic bridges at night, walking pass the most amazing buildings ever made. The cafes in the evenings and the intense energy. One of my favorite memories must have been witnessing a couple miss the "universally known" green man crossing simply because they were kissing. Walking into restaurants is exactly how you would see it in the movies. Couples holding hands across the table or french men cupping their lady's faces in their hands, staring into each other's eyes. To me, it's as if the Eiffel Tower radiates out some kind of love energy and the whole city is bewitched.
I was only 19 when I lived in Paris. My first day there, after a ridiculously long flight from Singapore, I was picked up and taken straight to my agency Ford. It was 8am Paris time and I was exhausted, looking like a wet rat. Which believe me, became a regular 'look' in my stay there due to Paris's crazy weather. YSL saw me after a frightful rainstorm and I wet most of the foyer. Probably explained why I didn't get the job.
Anyway... the moment I got into the Ford office, my booker told me to leave my luggage at the agency, go downstairs to the bookstore and buy a city guide map book, handed me 2 A4 prints with 'instructions" and literally showed me the door. A bit thrown off, but partially excited, I made my way to the bookstore. Along the way, one of my first sights of Paris, was a half-naked man covered in lesions, throwing up along the side of the road.
Rather shaken and filled with fright, I find the bookstore, grab my map and head back out.
Ok let me just tell you that Parisians can be rather ...well.... curt. If you speak to them in English, they'd probably ignore you or give you the wrong directions, seriously. French is a BEAUTIFUL language but I believe, you should speak it well or not speak it at all.
Ok ok long story short, I basically went on the rest of my day... lost in the city. I had 12 castings to go to. But i think I only managed 5. And even those, I had to cheat and take a taxi to because I just couldn't bare to go down through the Metro and not see any of the city. There was so much adrenalin pumping through me and this was just the first day.
After getting back to the agency about 8pm, I picked up my luggage and got sent home to the model's apartments. It was a little building of about 5 floors on Rue Parmentier and with little self contained dorm-like rooms, about 6 on each floor. 2 girls to a room, which had a little kitchen and bathroom and 2 twin beds. The corridors became our living room and we hardly ever closed our room doors since all the girls , fortunately, got along. We got along so well, we were known as our director's favorites. Now I'm kind of getting a little ahead of myself here and as far as stories about Paris goes...I have too many to break down now. But at that point, I was new, settling into a place completely unknown to me. Nothing was in English, so for the first few nights, I would read the only thing that was in a language I understand, and the hard copy I had. The bible. Honest.
It was initially more a form of meditation, my reading. My need to associated myself with something familiar to me, the written word. So before I started exploring the city, my nights would be with the bible, going through historic verses and pondering on life.
Well, over time I learned the ropes. One of them was if a few girls had the same castings, they would book a car and split it 4 or 5 ways.. so we would make all our castings and not burn a hole in our pockets. Of course, there's the good old reliable way which models all around the world still use. The Metro, a.k.a The Subway. Every model can tell you a story about the Paris Metro. Shit just goes down. I know a model who got slapped in the train just for looking at some looney French guy. I almost got mugged by this guy who asked me for a cigarette and after I gave him mine, he grabbed me and pulled me down the stairs. Luckily, Alex Wek, who was my 'neighbor' and who I planned to meet there saw him and came running toward us yelling, scaring the guy off.
So anyway, living in Paris is financially challenging to any struggling model. My daily breakfast would be banana and yogurt, lunch was a chocolate croissant and dinner was pretty much bananas and yogurt too unless one of the girls decided to cook pasta and invite everyone for some. Most nights we had red wine since it was so cheap and the only way to indulge ourselves if we weren't all going out for some 'company' dinner. My favorite restaurant in Paris was Leon's because my memories of it was so simply. I would go in about 3 times a week for lunch, by myself, order a big pot of mussels and a glass of champagne and tuck in. No conversation, no distractions, my personal time out. Then I would stick my hands deep into my coat pockets, inhale the cold air deeply and walk the Champs-Elysées to just absorb the vibes of Paris.
The day I went to Notre Dame, it was so overwhelming, I cried. The afternoon I was standing on top of the Eiffel tower, I was speechless but grinning ear to ear. The evening I went to the Louvre, Alek and I played frisbee out front in the park. Paris became joyous. It was somewhere in between those experiences that I fell in love.
No doubt I had my dark nights, where I would be home-sick and spent nights crying at the bottom of the stairs where the public phone was. But the city whispered kindly to me and before long, I was having fun-filled dinners with friends, partying at clubs and having lots of in-house slumber parties. I was once even hit on by Marcus Schenkenberg at a party but we were both too pickled to even talk by then. Another area us girls grew to love to hang out at was Saint-Sébastien. Known as the gay district of Paris, it had the quaintest little bars and a crowd that celebrated a whole bunch of tall pretty ladies as oppose to jumping them. Us, models would sit in a tiny bar all night, drinking cocktail after cocktails, spilling our guts about every subject imaginable like sex (the universal language, next to music), gut wrenching experiences, and hilarious work stories.
The days I had free, I would sit under a tree and watch the world walk by.
There are so many memories I have of Paris. They are all so vivid to me... each story more detailed than the next. I look forward to sharing them all one day with you. But for now, all I can imagine is the next time I am there. To be able to soak Paris in all over again, once more.
Paris,..... ah, Paris.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Friends
It's not who you are....but who you know.
Take heed.
Be grateful for your friends. be grateful for the parents that brought you up.
You would not be where you are if it wasn't for the people that influenced you.
Your thinking, much to your dismay, relies a lot on the company you have kept. All these years, from adolescent til your present day.
It is nothing to be ashamed about. It is actually something you should claim....proudly.
It is not easy to surround yourself with only the best.
But if you succeed, nothing in your life should be taken for granted.
Alone, you are nothing. Together you are everything.
Friends are precious. They mould you, help you, support you, teach you.
So appreciate them...for they will not always be around.
But while they are... be grateful and love them.
For love is nothing without people to love.
Namaste.
Take heed.
Be grateful for your friends. be grateful for the parents that brought you up.
You would not be where you are if it wasn't for the people that influenced you.
Your thinking, much to your dismay, relies a lot on the company you have kept. All these years, from adolescent til your present day.
It is nothing to be ashamed about. It is actually something you should claim....proudly.
It is not easy to surround yourself with only the best.
But if you succeed, nothing in your life should be taken for granted.
Alone, you are nothing. Together you are everything.
Friends are precious. They mould you, help you, support you, teach you.
So appreciate them...for they will not always be around.
But while they are... be grateful and love them.
For love is nothing without people to love.
Namaste.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The World Today.
There is horror happening around the world today.
Earthquakes in Japan and China, ending so many lives and still suffering more each day from the many aftershocks.
The prison break in Afghanistan where over 300 Taleban members escaped.
Riots in Tibet and around the world due to the torch running for the upcoming Olympics.
Things don't seem to look so good. And it doesn't seem to be getting better.
There is still so much poverty. So much diversity and judgment but not enough love or action.
We are all too caught up in our own worlds. Our careers, our inspirations, all the things we need to do for ourselves. Even when we think we want to inspire people, we want to inspire them to hold us higher, think better of us as a 'contributor' and follow us and our beliefs.
But what is the true lesson behind it?
Are we in a position of influence? And if so, how do we use that position to help humanity? Or are we just concerned with bettering our position, just for ourselves?
And then we say we want love. A higher love. A love like no other. And yet, we cannot give unconditional love. Cannot help the needy or heal the sick. How can we give what we do not know, or have to begin with?
We make too many assumptions. Jump the gun as they say. Always on the defense, protecting our 'precious' little hearts from the wars of the world. But how can we nurture something, lead it to grow, when our roots are plunged somewhere else, in deceit and war?
Consider this dear friend, and ponder on it well.. when you get indecisive- be thankful you have the choices, when you feel backed into a corner- be thankful you are not alone in that room. When you can't choose what to pick off that menu to fill your belly, be thankful those words fill that page. When you start to judge someone...think of your 'position'.
Compassion is the greatest gift. Love is the greatest emotion. Immerse yourself in both.
Earthquakes in Japan and China, ending so many lives and still suffering more each day from the many aftershocks.
The prison break in Afghanistan where over 300 Taleban members escaped.
Riots in Tibet and around the world due to the torch running for the upcoming Olympics.
Things don't seem to look so good. And it doesn't seem to be getting better.
There is still so much poverty. So much diversity and judgment but not enough love or action.
We are all too caught up in our own worlds. Our careers, our inspirations, all the things we need to do for ourselves. Even when we think we want to inspire people, we want to inspire them to hold us higher, think better of us as a 'contributor' and follow us and our beliefs.
But what is the true lesson behind it?
Are we in a position of influence? And if so, how do we use that position to help humanity? Or are we just concerned with bettering our position, just for ourselves?
And then we say we want love. A higher love. A love like no other. And yet, we cannot give unconditional love. Cannot help the needy or heal the sick. How can we give what we do not know, or have to begin with?
We make too many assumptions. Jump the gun as they say. Always on the defense, protecting our 'precious' little hearts from the wars of the world. But how can we nurture something, lead it to grow, when our roots are plunged somewhere else, in deceit and war?
Consider this dear friend, and ponder on it well.. when you get indecisive- be thankful you have the choices, when you feel backed into a corner- be thankful you are not alone in that room. When you can't choose what to pick off that menu to fill your belly, be thankful those words fill that page. When you start to judge someone...think of your 'position'.
Compassion is the greatest gift. Love is the greatest emotion. Immerse yourself in both.
Friday, June 13, 2008
I wonder
Ever been in a situation where something consumes your mind.
One single being...in this giant universe has control over ever inch of your working brain.
No matter how you try to distract or redirect your thoughts, it comes back full circle.
It's as if the only thing you want to do is act on those impulses and demand some sort of immediate response. An answer to all those lurking questions.
Or sometimes simply to quit the superficiality. To get down to the core, then the basics.
If the energies are so in sync, then what is there to lose?
If it was meant to be, then how can it possibly fail?
Is it pride? Is it the lack of trust or the inability to be totally vulnerable? The fear of losing.
Why are we always allowing fear to stunt us? Keep us rooted in our insecurities?
Is it really that difficult to give in, give up and surrender?
Put it all out there? Give unconditionally?
Is it that weak to admit that ultimately, none of us can do it on our own?
One single being...in this giant universe has control over ever inch of your working brain.
No matter how you try to distract or redirect your thoughts, it comes back full circle.
It's as if the only thing you want to do is act on those impulses and demand some sort of immediate response. An answer to all those lurking questions.
Or sometimes simply to quit the superficiality. To get down to the core, then the basics.
If the energies are so in sync, then what is there to lose?
If it was meant to be, then how can it possibly fail?
Is it pride? Is it the lack of trust or the inability to be totally vulnerable? The fear of losing.
Why are we always allowing fear to stunt us? Keep us rooted in our insecurities?
Is it really that difficult to give in, give up and surrender?
Put it all out there? Give unconditionally?
Is it that weak to admit that ultimately, none of us can do it on our own?
Friday, June 6, 2008
Save it for Today.
It's a rainy day in Hong Kong. It has been pouring here since noon today.
My Stuart Weitzman pumps got absolutely drenched and I considered swinging by Marc Jacobs to get a pair of their gorgeous rain boots after lunch with Amanda, Sean and MeeYian. Buffet lunch at Lotus on Pottinger Street was cozily quiet and the three of us bantered away eagerly, determined to shove as much information into the conversation since we all hadn't really caught up in ages. Over desert, while stuffing our faces with Bubur Hitum, a.k.a Black rice pudding, we filled each other in on our personal lives, all the complications, the insecurities, the screw ups.. and felt so much better after (or was it the sweets? ) as we kissed each other goodbye in the rain. Careful not to poke each other with our fancy umbrellas.
I tell you walking the streets in Hong Kong is challenging enough, but when it rains...
People here walk in the shade with their umbrella open. Completely unaware of other pairs of eyes, running head on into an oncoming pedestrian and running through puddles splashing everyone within range. I scuffled as stealthy as a wet cat could through IFC to pick up my Pure membership gym card and then took the Star Ferry back to Tsim Sha Tsui.
To my surprise.. a boat ride on the Star Ferry during rainy weather is one of the most peaceful moments in Hong Kong.
Nobody on the boat is talking, except for the mainlander saying something to his wife, everyone else is either looking at the view or reading a newspaper or book. Both ways you look.. Hong Kong or Kowloon, both are pretty in their own way and there is a comforting deep humming from the engine of the boat. The weather outside rocks the waters a little but compared to typhoon time, it's a relatively smooth sail. Times like these, you remember the reason why you love this city. From the terminal to the hotel I stay at, is a quick walk and soon I am dry, relieved and relaxed.
Which brings me back to rainy days.
My rainy evening will be spent in the comfort of my home. Soon I will turn on a movie and unwind. Dinner will be ordered in.... and I will look back on my apparently gloomy day and think..
I've had a lovely rainy day.
My Stuart Weitzman pumps got absolutely drenched and I considered swinging by Marc Jacobs to get a pair of their gorgeous rain boots after lunch with Amanda, Sean and MeeYian. Buffet lunch at Lotus on Pottinger Street was cozily quiet and the three of us bantered away eagerly, determined to shove as much information into the conversation since we all hadn't really caught up in ages. Over desert, while stuffing our faces with Bubur Hitum, a.k.a Black rice pudding, we filled each other in on our personal lives, all the complications, the insecurities, the screw ups.. and felt so much better after (or was it the sweets? ) as we kissed each other goodbye in the rain. Careful not to poke each other with our fancy umbrellas.
I tell you walking the streets in Hong Kong is challenging enough, but when it rains...
People here walk in the shade with their umbrella open. Completely unaware of other pairs of eyes, running head on into an oncoming pedestrian and running through puddles splashing everyone within range. I scuffled as stealthy as a wet cat could through IFC to pick up my Pure membership gym card and then took the Star Ferry back to Tsim Sha Tsui.
To my surprise.. a boat ride on the Star Ferry during rainy weather is one of the most peaceful moments in Hong Kong.
Nobody on the boat is talking, except for the mainlander saying something to his wife, everyone else is either looking at the view or reading a newspaper or book. Both ways you look.. Hong Kong or Kowloon, both are pretty in their own way and there is a comforting deep humming from the engine of the boat. The weather outside rocks the waters a little but compared to typhoon time, it's a relatively smooth sail. Times like these, you remember the reason why you love this city. From the terminal to the hotel I stay at, is a quick walk and soon I am dry, relieved and relaxed.
Which brings me back to rainy days.
My rainy evening will be spent in the comfort of my home. Soon I will turn on a movie and unwind. Dinner will be ordered in.... and I will look back on my apparently gloomy day and think..
I've had a lovely rainy day.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
My last 24hrs in Tokyo
Dearest Puta,
Ohmygod babe, we went to Hanjiro...totally. and there was SO much to look at...i kinda went blind, felt faint and had to sit down. hahahah kidding.
then we took a nice tokyo street walk to the park..grabbed some ice cream and walked thru the forest. BRiLLIANT!
Approaching the shrine felt kind of surreal. We all took a slow peaceful walk. i so needed that. and i love that it's smack in the city centre.
praying was divine. left a note for the Gods on the wooden tree. :)
went to tokyu foodmart. went nuts with the fish, picked up snacks, lisa got HERBS, smoked salts...etc.
then she went to sleep. Migs and I went to Stormy and a few other skateboard shops...he was looking for his kicks. :P
didn't get them. but found a rocking' bag and a cap for himself then we thought we'd grab a 'small' bite but jumping into those noodles stores...you know the ones which you pay for in a vending machine outside. *holy smokes*... the portions was humongous and we over ordered the condiments (as always) so we left feeling like bloated little pigs.
then we walked the streets, saw the short, lanky, weird and funny of harajuku...god bless japan.
discovered a few neat little stores but decided to drink milk. ???
hahahah from this little stall... cold yummy jap milk, smooth. ha.
Ok ok so we got back to the hotel. I took a LOVELY shower. layed on the bed.... and sayonara cabonara. over and out.
wake up to phone ringing for migs and his interview in 5 mins ...it was morning. totally missed your call and our plans for dinner. Got a call from reception telling us politely it was time to check out.
packed like a mother fucker with dripping wet hair and knickers in a twist... still strutted tall and composed into the lobby. :) Rockstar style.
grabbed the quickest udon one-stop lunch and whizzed off to the airport.
and BOY tokyo was sad we were leaving cuz the raining was pouring and only then i actually got a quick moment to breathe.
Of course when we got to the airport...the mayhem started again.
Firstly...i think i jinxed it. i said...ok guys, i'm gonna call JAson once we clear immigrATION and we all gotta thank him yah. and they were like YEAH totally dude.. hahah whatever. ha. We headed to check in, Lisa was overweight so we had to repack there..which was kinda 'shite' but still manageable. then we had half and hour til take off. we go thru security and the woman won't let me bring all my creams, lips balms, small bottle of perfume, all less than 100ml simply because it was not a ZIPLOCK BAG. Although it was a small makeup clear bag, she refused so i had to run back out to buy some Ziplock bag, come thru security AGAIn and put the stuff all away. PHEW>
then we go thru immigration and we can hear them calling OUR NAMES on the speaker. no shit.
SO Lisa starts to run... Migs and I are kinda speed walking. :)
aND WE get there...with about a minute to burn.
The rest goes on for a while and is really interesting. :) but yeah as far as my last 24 hours in tokyo was ... it was definitely a ride.
ANd so thank you for being a doll. i SO enjoyed time with you and realized once again how much i miss you.
pls write me soon
I love you too much.
x C
Ohmygod babe, we went to Hanjiro...totally. and there was SO much to look at...i kinda went blind, felt faint and had to sit down. hahahah kidding.
then we took a nice tokyo street walk to the park..grabbed some ice cream and walked thru the forest. BRiLLIANT!
Approaching the shrine felt kind of surreal. We all took a slow peaceful walk. i so needed that. and i love that it's smack in the city centre.
praying was divine. left a note for the Gods on the wooden tree. :)
went to tokyu foodmart. went nuts with the fish, picked up snacks, lisa got HERBS, smoked salts...etc.
then she went to sleep. Migs and I went to Stormy and a few other skateboard shops...he was looking for his kicks. :P
didn't get them. but found a rocking' bag and a cap for himself then we thought we'd grab a 'small' bite but jumping into those noodles stores...you know the ones which you pay for in a vending machine outside. *holy smokes*... the portions was humongous and we over ordered the condiments (as always) so we left feeling like bloated little pigs.
then we walked the streets, saw the short, lanky, weird and funny of harajuku...god bless japan.
discovered a few neat little stores but decided to drink milk. ???
hahahah from this little stall... cold yummy jap milk, smooth. ha.
Ok ok so we got back to the hotel. I took a LOVELY shower. layed on the bed.... and sayonara cabonara. over and out.
wake up to phone ringing for migs and his interview in 5 mins ...it was morning. totally missed your call and our plans for dinner. Got a call from reception telling us politely it was time to check out.
packed like a mother fucker with dripping wet hair and knickers in a twist... still strutted tall and composed into the lobby. :) Rockstar style.
grabbed the quickest udon one-stop lunch and whizzed off to the airport.
and BOY tokyo was sad we were leaving cuz the raining was pouring and only then i actually got a quick moment to breathe.
Of course when we got to the airport...the mayhem started again.
Firstly...i think i jinxed it. i said...ok guys, i'm gonna call JAson once we clear immigrATION and we all gotta thank him yah. and they were like YEAH totally dude.. hahah whatever. ha. We headed to check in, Lisa was overweight so we had to repack there..which was kinda 'shite' but still manageable. then we had half and hour til take off. we go thru security and the woman won't let me bring all my creams, lips balms, small bottle of perfume, all less than 100ml simply because it was not a ZIPLOCK BAG. Although it was a small makeup clear bag, she refused so i had to run back out to buy some Ziplock bag, come thru security AGAIn and put the stuff all away. PHEW>
then we go thru immigration and we can hear them calling OUR NAMES on the speaker. no shit.
SO Lisa starts to run... Migs and I are kinda speed walking. :)
aND WE get there...with about a minute to burn.
The rest goes on for a while and is really interesting. :) but yeah as far as my last 24 hours in tokyo was ... it was definitely a ride.
ANd so thank you for being a doll. i SO enjoyed time with you and realized once again how much i miss you.
pls write me soon
I love you too much.
x C
Saturday, May 17, 2008
One day...
My mate Kristin showed me this quote and I fell in love with it. Forgot all about it and stumbled upon it today.
Have you ever wished you could tell someone those exact words?
Well I do... I want to wake up those asleep in love, shake the ones who don't take their feelings seriously and slap those who take love for granted.
Anyway, just wanted to give kudos to this quote and whoever thought of it.
Namaste.
Monday, May 12, 2008
awake to see sunrise
Just got back to the hotel room after a night out in LA.
MAn it was pretty insane. Went to have some Japanese fusion food on 3rd st, and then headed to Deep in Hollywood and partied to the sounds of Frankie Knuckles.
Good old House... sexy. Circles of deep dancers all over the dance floor. The most fluid movements and coexisting with the rhythm. Grinding to the beat.
Then Chance, Lawrence and I went back to the studio to listen to some insanely funky underground record which left us grooving in that little womb til nearly 6 in the morning.
So here I am now... only allowed a few hours to sleep before check out. Oh how many times I have been in this situation. Once again...
At noon tomorrow, I start another journey. Follow my gypsy legs and see what the universe beholds.
Til then.
NAmaste.
MAn it was pretty insane. Went to have some Japanese fusion food on 3rd st, and then headed to Deep in Hollywood and partied to the sounds of Frankie Knuckles.
Good old House... sexy. Circles of deep dancers all over the dance floor. The most fluid movements and coexisting with the rhythm. Grinding to the beat.
Then Chance, Lawrence and I went back to the studio to listen to some insanely funky underground record which left us grooving in that little womb til nearly 6 in the morning.
So here I am now... only allowed a few hours to sleep before check out. Oh how many times I have been in this situation. Once again...
At noon tomorrow, I start another journey. Follow my gypsy legs and see what the universe beholds.
Til then.
NAmaste.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Los Angeles
So I am in LA for the Pangea Day 2008 event. The screening for those 100 films over 4 hours start in exactly 3 hours out in the Sony studios.
We arrived late on Wednesday night into LAX, customs and immgiration took over 2 hrs to clear although it only took 20 mins by car to get to the Ritz Carlton, Marina Del Ray.
Thursday started early, more from the jet lag than the desire to walk Venice beach at 9am.
Had a fabulous breakfast at the Figtree cafe then people-watched, shopped and cruised the infamous boardwalk for any exciting sites.
Got interviewed by Ashley Page's Mum (yup!) who was promoting her daughter's swimwear line with the help of TLC TV. Bought a few classic rock t-shirts, scored a beautiful Christie's fedora and bought a CD hip hop demo off a struggling artist.
Had a lovely evening by the Sheraton pool at the Pangea Day cocktail party and rubbed shoulders with some aspiring film makers.
Yesterday, I went to Urth cafe in Santa Monica with Chance and Marques. Then went shopping at Anonymous before heading back to crash out. Was so knackered from the time difference.
The weather in California at the moment is rather cold and I am regrettably unprepared as I assumed it was going to be beach weather.
Tomorrow night, we are going to Deep to watch Frankie Knuckles.
There always seems like there is never enough time to do all you want to in Hollywood.
We arrived late on Wednesday night into LAX, customs and immgiration took over 2 hrs to clear although it only took 20 mins by car to get to the Ritz Carlton, Marina Del Ray.
Thursday started early, more from the jet lag than the desire to walk Venice beach at 9am.
Had a fabulous breakfast at the Figtree cafe then people-watched, shopped and cruised the infamous boardwalk for any exciting sites.
Got interviewed by Ashley Page's Mum (yup!) who was promoting her daughter's swimwear line with the help of TLC TV. Bought a few classic rock t-shirts, scored a beautiful Christie's fedora and bought a CD hip hop demo off a struggling artist.
Had a lovely evening by the Sheraton pool at the Pangea Day cocktail party and rubbed shoulders with some aspiring film makers.
Yesterday, I went to Urth cafe in Santa Monica with Chance and Marques. Then went shopping at Anonymous before heading back to crash out. Was so knackered from the time difference.
The weather in California at the moment is rather cold and I am regrettably unprepared as I assumed it was going to be beach weather.
Tomorrow night, we are going to Deep to watch Frankie Knuckles.
There always seems like there is never enough time to do all you want to in Hollywood.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
My friends
I have the bestest friends in the world.
My friends do SO much for me. They are so kind and so local to me. They are always there when I need someone and they are always there to keep that smile on my face.
My friends are the best because they watch out for me. They step in when I need some help and they step back when I need some space.
They give me so much even when I do not ask for it and they consider my feelings at all times.
I have the best friends.
I am blessed beyond words.
My friends do SO much for me. They are so kind and so local to me. They are always there when I need someone and they are always there to keep that smile on my face.
My friends are the best because they watch out for me. They step in when I need some help and they step back when I need some space.
They give me so much even when I do not ask for it and they consider my feelings at all times.
I have the best friends.
I am blessed beyond words.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
To begin with....
Ah....finally. My very own Blog.
You cannot imagine how relieved I finally am to have started this after weeks, if not years of procrastinating.
And typical to my style, I do not create this on a day I have free to pretty up and decorate the blog, instead I have a million things to do today and can only leave this short and sweet initiation.
Whatever the case, WELCOME to Charm's life.
Whatever you read, experience or see here will probably make you question your life and the way you live it....but I only hope you do so in a kind, productive and compassionate way with child-like enthusiasm.
Because let's not forget people, creative expression is meant to inspire and motivate...
And we can never use 'too-much' of the imagination because visualization and manifestation are powerful beauties of Life.
So be It!
You cannot imagine how relieved I finally am to have started this after weeks, if not years of procrastinating.
And typical to my style, I do not create this on a day I have free to pretty up and decorate the blog, instead I have a million things to do today and can only leave this short and sweet initiation.
Whatever the case, WELCOME to Charm's life.
Whatever you read, experience or see here will probably make you question your life and the way you live it....but I only hope you do so in a kind, productive and compassionate way with child-like enthusiasm.
Because let's not forget people, creative expression is meant to inspire and motivate...
And we can never use 'too-much' of the imagination because visualization and manifestation are powerful beauties of Life.
So be It!
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